


Crimson Dreamland

by Justadecision



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Crimes & Criminals, Curly-Haired Liam, Dom Zayn, Fluff and Angst, I'm not using some of their real parents name, M/M, Major Character Injury, Murder-Suicide, Nerd Liam, Protective Zayn, Rich Harry, Rich Zayn, Violent, a bit larry, at least that what liam thinks, badboy zayn, but getting back together soon, there is break up scene, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-15
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:19:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4137279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justadecision/pseuds/Justadecision
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But people forget to tell you that Nightmare is a dream too.”</p>
<p>When Liam, a university student meet a guy named Zayn in the café where he took his part time job in winter holiday. He is perfect like all words can’t describe his face to the world, like the guy in every dream Liam have, but in the middle of his feeling, he remember if good things in his dream happen, means the bad is include too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> So idk give this one a try. this is the first ziam story that i write and based on my own imagination, I'll update the story three times a week and sorry if my grammar is bad :'')

It was the first winter week in Liam's city. When everyone started to take time off from work and went to their hometown to enjoy the warmth of a large family gathering amid the cold weather outside.

Not with Liam, yeah. He's spending his winter holiday with his parents only, taking part time job at a small café which half an hour from his home. He never complained to do anything during the winter, even wished to take two kinds of part time jobs – he changed his mind right after when Louis almost hit him with a shovel when he heard about it – until finally he decided to take two shifts every day.

"I'll make tea, do you want?" Liam asked his parents who staring at the television screen with tight and full of concentration face. His mother nodded towards him as an answer despite her eyes could not be separated from the TV screen, and when he turned toward the kitchen, he heard his father say if he wants coffee.

He took three empty cups and began to make his and their drinks.  
  
When he returned to living room, he sat on the couch next to his parents, his legs folded in front of him with a cup of hot tea between both palms, clutching the cup to feel the warmth.

He noticed, it’s a Midnight news that being watched by his parents.  
  
Indeed, he noticed, he kept trying to listen to the news and interspersed his father's voice who mumbled 'really?' 'That’s so terrible'.  
  
Until Liam finally tired, because why not? Young people don’t like watching news— breath out heavy air before stood, took the empty cup and lifted it to the kitchen before saying goodnight to his parents.  
  
The next morning, he was awakened by vibration sound of the phone in a wooden table next to his bed. With irritated look in his face he tried to reach the phone and pressed the button before the ringing sounds penetrating and hurt his head even more.

“Hello?” his groggy voice filled the space inside his room.

“Liam!” Louis shouted from the other line, Liam let out heavy sigh. Right, Louis really gave him the reason why he is so not the morning person, just when it comes to Louis of course.

“Hmm?”

“I really have something to tell you today –“

Liam open up his mouth to protest but soon being cut by Louis like he got an idea what Liam will respond, “Important of course! I will pick you up today. See you at 7.”

And yeah, like Liam even had a choice, as now the beep sounds fills the phone.

Liam groans and wakes up from his bed. He felt his head getting more hurt because of the sudden movement. Finally after a few minutes stay in the same position and look empty at the wall – that’s all what people do when they are waking up in the morning, gathering his mind maybe – he walks to the bathroom and get ready.

+++

“Liam! Louis is here!”

“Wait mom.”

Liam took his backpack before running down the stair, meet with Louis who holding little brown box with both his hand.

“What is that?”

“This is hmm –” Louis looked closer at the box that he held before, like he is trying to decide what it should called, “Precious little things.” He smiled widely as he rose both his brows to Liam’s mom.

“What do yo— Mom?” now Liam’s eyes were looking at his smiling mother

“I made some cakes this morning, Liam. Thought, maybe Louis will like tasting them.”

“No need to make sure, Mrs. Payne. I could tell you, these going tasted rich like their smells.” Louis smile goofy – again for hundredth time that moment, like he does it to irritate Liam – and move his eyes to Liam, now with narrowing eyes. “Come on, Liam. We’re going to be so late.”

With mouth hung open, Liam followed Louis out from front door and saying bye to his parents while reaching the door.

Liam was looking outside the car’s window as the car run in not too slippery road. Everything was blanked by the snow, while the air was cool, chilling all the way down to his lungs and the sun light penetrating from the blue clouds that trying to hide it. He inhaled the air again, like they toxic him and gave an addicted feeling to his lungs –mint or something –. This was truly his favorite season, because looking at the falling snows makes him want to do anything all day all night.

Louis looked into the rear view mirror, move it slightly left and right to get a true view from backward while his eyes couldn’t be separated from the street and looked in the mirror again and return to the streets, fixing his hair that plastered little snow from earlier.

“Oh Liam, you remember the thing that I said I want to tell you something before?” Louis spoke, briefly looked at Liam and look to the streets again. Their trip takes half an hour usually, but this time Louis drove a little slow.

“Yes, I barely trust you before, thought it was only your excuse to get something from my kitchen. So what is that?” Liam raised an eyebrow in doubt, but still waiting for an answer from Louis.

“Oh, maybe?” Louis faked his laugh and waves his hand in the air made him looked more cruel, but soon all feature in his face turn serious.

“No, listen to me. Did you watch headline last night?” Louis’ face immediately falls into worried, his lip pressed to his upper lip, jaw looks tight like he gritted his teeth.

“I – no. My parents did watch it, I thought It was a random criminal news like always. But what’s the point?” Yeah, though Liam is true, in his small city, criminal is not a strange news anymore.

“So, so terrible, god. You know that was happened near Niall’s house. Two houses after Niall’s house exactly.” Louis looked messed, he repeatedly combed his hair with his fingers as like frustrating run through his veins. Liam makes faces _'are you kidding me'_ to Louis and Louis only shook his head quickly and looked like he was holding his breath.

“No, Liam I’m super serious right now.” Louis suddenly just feeling impatient, to being able told him the rest of the story.

“How could you know —“

“I was there, that night Liam! I was at Niall’s house, sleep over, playing Fifa like always then suddenly this old woman screamed, her voice filled our ears, that anyone who heard it could be in tears, because that scream was so hurt and full of pain, Liam.” Louis spoke a little cut off pieces, trying to focus on the streets.

“Did someone hurt tha—“

“No, she screamed not because someone hurt her, but because She saw one body hang down with ropes on big fan that hanging on the ceiling in living room, full of slashed wounds here and there.“ Louis spoke as he moved his left hand in the air as he describes how the bodies were injured. Liam nodded quiet, serious and feared to hear the story.

“She is their … shit! –“He slower his car as give death glare through the rear mirror, “What the fuck with this man, make your damn ass car to fly if you want to be faster!” Louis slowed the car again so that the car which honked them since before had been able to run first, Louis giving the rider death glare, again, when he passed their car. Liam chuckled at Louis, and turned serious again when Louis returned to the previous position, and took a deep breath.

“She is one of their housekeeper. Niall said that two boys already stayed in that house for like five months after the first owner of that house passed away in his office in next city. We were greet each other in the morning when I and Niall walked to the nearest shop for buying some snacks for that night I did sleepover, we fucking greet them and they looked so fine, Liam. That’s why Niall got so shocked like hell, he didn’t even sleep last night, and barely let me go home this morning. That time when I called you, I was in the front of Niall’s house. And yeah, my mom really out from town and no one home. That’s why … that’s why I’m here.”

Liam exhale felt like he held it from earlier, and Louis looks a little calm than the first time when he spoke earlier. Their car had stopped in front of a café that is not too big but it looks antique and comfortable to spend the afternoon after long time work. The café has two large windows, in the left and to the right. The door made by mahogany colored brown with dark green roofs. It has white walls, but a bit dark due to exposure to rain and dust, inside the café, the light still shining with gold color which makes the room look luxurious.

Louis leaned back in a chair, playing with his car keys that made tinkling sound.

“How… I mean, did you and Niall came and checked the house too with the other? How many bodies that found there?” Liam frowned, pressing his fingers nails into his wrist to remind him that he is awake.

“Yeah, I mean like – SHIT!” Louis jumped slightly from his seat when the big man knocked on the window’s car beside Louis, so hard that the sound from it can ripped their heart out from their bodies, but … oh yeah it is their manager.

Louis gives the face 'do you trying to fucking kill me' and that man widened his eyes, pointing at the clock on his right hand to the two of them.  
Louis mouthed 'wait' at him and he gives death glares at them before leaving them. Louis leaned back into the chair again, before finally answering.

“No, we didn’t enter that house. We just reached the living room, we saw that body hanging, Niall got this pale looked in his face and nearly vomit, so I helped him to get back to his house. Niall took like half an hour inside toilet before he got out from it. And lay in sofa.” Louis frowned and rubbed his face with both hands as the bad memories can also be taken away by his hand.

“That was… sick man.” Liam nodded followed Louis who mumbled something and nodded too.

They both got out of the car, walked to the front door of the café. Louis twisted the door knob and pushed, the fresh air come into a room and disappear mixed with warm air and lavender scent, and a slight scent of pine trees inside the café, the reason why Liam can stand being inside longer, their scent are really soothing.

As usual, Liam and Louis worked in cashier, everything went as normal as he thought.  
  
When they were both busy, Louis with a few empty coffee cups that need to be filled, Liam with several boxes containing coffee powder which must be arranged under the counter, they both were surprised by the next customer.  
  
“I wanted to order something.” He spoke with a thick British accent.  
  
Louis was shocked and spilled a little coffee which he filled in the cup, while Liam bumped his head when he was reached for a box under the counter.  
  
Louis look back, opened his mouth to, maybe to teach a little lesson with his rude words to him so he did not surprise anyone else another time, but once he look that guy right in the eyes, he clapped his mouth again, instead replaced with, "”Jennifer! Get here, we need a bloody help.”  
  
Liam stood up from his position when the curly red-haired woman –Jennifer up at the counter and talk to him.

“Good morning, Welcome to Amore café. My name is Jennifer, can I help you?” a soft voice with her Scottish accent mixed with rosy cheeks and dimples are clearly shown on her face.

Liam watched as the guy speaking up. This guy was like, his old diary that he kept under his pillow when he was 6 years old, by looking at him reminding Liam the first time he saw Ferris wheel at the fair, filled with sparkle lights that made his chest felt full because he was really excited

Liam listen to him talking, the more he heard the more he felt drawn into a big hole, as though he heard a man's voice in all directions.

He could not believe himself at this time, when the guy was aware of Liam eyes at him and he looked straight towards Liam, everything happens so quiet, bright brown eyes calmly look at Liam, the quiet faces wondering at Liam full panic face.  
  
“Liam!” Louis shouted from the table number three in the middle of the room.  
  
Liam breathed slowly, like he couldn’t decide what he should do or maybe he was afraid his breath touched the man who standing so far from him. Man with tan skin, messy black hair, and beard that cover his sharp jaw smoothly.   
  
“For God’s sake Liam! Move your ass here, won’t you?”  
  
Liam who now could gather his mind eventually found his way towards Louis who had folded his hands in front of his chest.  
  
Liam could swear to anything if he saw the guy was smiling at him as Liam walked past him.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earlier that night before Zayn met Liam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second chapter, i hope you enjoy it. Though English is not my first language but I really hope my grammar is not confusing y'all

*earlier that night*

Clock on the dashboard of his car showed 1am. He has been more than five hours he is in his position right now, in front of a small rented house filled with the sounds of people screams, cries and sirens of police cars came and gone to that location.  
  
Yeah, this is the umpteenth time of crimes he had done.  
  
He smoked, the cigarette tucked in between two fingers, exhaled it to make a puff of smoke, he was a little grin, the smoke hurt his eyes, actually.  
  
He stared blankly at the house, stared at each expression shown by people who walked out from the house. They feared, he thought, but the truly thought that they had were _what if it happen to them, to their family_.  
  
Some police were walking around his car, knocked his windshield before to ask him to move his car to the other side of the street because the police chief with some detectives will come to that place in a minute.

But, after that? There is nothing.  
  
They did not notice, did not question his presence. _Fools_ , he thought.  
  
Why not, what happened to them? What did they expect from a murderer, remained silent in place after he committed the murder? Or go to their office, said that if he had just committed a murder? Then after it, saying this is an easy case for them because they’re great and clever.  
  
He's already seen the footage from midnight news program – one of his man sent it through his email—that broadcasted the murder case from a small TV in his car five times, he saw how the anchorwoman's face looked stiff when he said polices have not received any evidence on the murder’s place, and the police chief considers it as a difficult case. That made him could not stop laughing and cursing into the air as he turned his cigarette again.

They all _suck_ , he thought. Just some slacker Detectives who does not want to shed the slightest sweat reveals how someone dying, pretending if they are the most tired and stressed people in this world when the camera captures their face, but the reality? Even to hold a body full of blood, they might prefer putting their letter of resignation on their head officer’s table in the morning. He continued to stare blankly until his phone rang and he was pressing the answer button, shortly afterwards a female voice sounded firm and old filled the car.  
  
“Zayn Malik, our golden boy!” Proud tone filled her voice, the sound of laughter and more people, the sound of glass were met by the glass, the sound of spoons hitting the plates and there is soft music orchestra playing behind, while he chose not to answer, and still looking out the window,  
  
“Where are you dear? We've been waiting for almost half of our age, come on, this day is your day, we make a small party for the success of your –“

“If I tell you where I am right now, you would expect half of your age came to an end today.” He smiled a little when suddenly all voices went quiet behind the phone, and she was like holding her breath.  
  
“Zayn, wha- dear, where are you?”  
  
"The place where you will regret why were you asking it later."  
  
He heard her cursing in disgusted, and people trying to calm her then she spoke again.  
  
“You’re stupid! You really do not have any sense, huh? Stupid! Do you want to die young? If yes, I can do it with my own hands Zayn, not to make the lives of everyone here is in danger!—“  
  
The woman continued to talk harsh words that pierced deep into his feelings, made his stomach hurt because of panic. But he was glad because it was the reality, the painful reality of himself.  
  
The woman continued to speak until he heard another woman's soft voice but there was commanding implied in it said _Sara, give the phone to me_. Then another woman spoke.  
  
“Zayn, Dear are you okay?” She cared and was really audible in her voice, no matter how cold Zayn’s heart was, he always listened to this woman, just this woman.

“I'm okay, Anne. I'm just— this thought is overwhelming and—“ Zayn could not adjust himself, he put his head on the steering wheel of his car.  
  
“Hush Zayn, it's okay dear. Will you coming home? Harry is in his room, not even having dinner. He is so worried at you.”  
  
“I can’t and you know it right?” Zayn knew she must understand he did not want to meet anyone at this time.  
  
“I know, I just want to make-sure, baby. Come and meet Harry in his café tomorrow morning, yeah? Only if you can –“  
  
“Sure, I can.”  
  
“Okay, have a good sleep, Zayn. Good night.” Zayn just nodded and heard her spoke something like _Go, clean all of this now, I do not want my carpet smells like wine tomorrow morning_ before she hung up.  
  
Zayn ended up sleeping in a small motel a few blocks from the place he was there before.  
  
+++  
  
That morning Zayn found himself up and out of the motel while the sky was still dark blue and orange with gold at the end of the horizon. He jogged to his car, afraid that the snow that morning damaging his hair or his leather jacket.  
  
He drove a little faster though slippery roads, it takes approximately one hour until it reaches the café that owned by Harry.

Previously he paused at a small donut shop and continued driving his car.  
  
The music on radio played in the background when he arrived at a small café right in front of the old library belonged to Mr. Johnson —a close friend of his father when he was 5 years old and used to often gave him a drawing book during his holiday— He parked his Chevy impala car beside the café, on the corner next to a red Jeep.  
  
He combed his hair with his fingers, and wore his navy blue sweeter before exiting the car.  
  
He walked around to the front door of the café, two young policemen and a middle-aged woman standing next to the door, having a small talk, or maybe a talk that will end in the bed in the night maybe, he thought disgustingly. He smiled to one of the officers before push the front door, a simple nod from the other guy as a reply.  
  
He was greeted by warm pine scent on his skin that was cold because of the snow before. The café was small, but comfortable. There were only fifteen tables spaced far apart with each other— perhaps to give better privacy for the costumers— which were only filled half of the amount, in each table placed an aromatic candles with soft colored with gold colored lamp hung above, contrasting with the dark brown wall that made a classic and elegant impression, with some pictures of singers and rock bands from the 80s until 90s adorn the walls of this café, as ‘Came as you are’ by Nirvana playing softly in there.

He kept walking toward the counter, seeing workers looked so busy and probably no one realized he was there if he just sat quietly.  
  
He paused as he reached the counter, there is still no one realized he had come. There was only a brown-haired man who was deep in thought while filling the coffee into several cups.  
  
“I want to order something.” Finally he spoke, made every of his word was clear, and the brown-haired man seemed to realize the same thing, he was surprised, spilled coffee slightly a bit to the floor and then he looks back quickly. He looked so irritated, but when their eyes met, he was just breathed tired and calling a woman to help them. Yeah they were, because he heard someone moaned in pain after like he bumped his head down there, perhaps he was also surprised.  
  
Soon woman with long curly red hair that tied with cream ribbon came. She began to say her name, her voice was so soft, and he thought she was sweet, though she seemed not confident.

Zayn smiled gently as told his order, made her smile again, her cheeks slightly flushed and her dimples clearly defined. But that's not the woman who made him curious.  
  
It was a man with curly brown hair, wide brown eyes, looking at him as he was a new toy that was in a glass room, with a fit body and he considered younger than him.  
He continued to stare at Zayn, with the bottom of his red lips tucked between his teeth and still continues looking at him even now Zayn’s attention was fully on him.  
  
Someone calling his name, maybe it was him, but he remained silent, like a sculpting.

“For God’s sake, Liam Payne! Move your ass here, won’t you?” the voice came from behind of Zayn and the boy that looked so messy now walked past Zayn stiffly.  
  
Zayn smiling, this was a soft smile. This boy was innocent, he thought. Then shook his head slightly, relieving unique feeling in his stomach, perhaps it was because he has not having breakfast yet. But yeah, it was so easy for him to make someone like him, but all eyes that he met looked him with full of lust and ended up as a one night stand in nearest hotel and disappeared the next day. But not with this boy, he saw Zayn like ... his long lost toys? Oh maybe.  
  
He walked to an empty table after the girl told him. He ordered coffee for Harry as well.  
  
Zayn drinking his coffee, occasionally looked at the boy who instantly turned awkward and weird when their eyes met. Zayn liked it, at least he passed the first test for ‘Zayn malik’s type’. Maybe he needed someone like that in his cruel life, at least the cruelty could be covered by the soft feeling of being cuddled in the bench in front of his house, drinking a coffee that made by him in the afternoon and everybody that walked pass his house could die in jealous.  
  
Zayn smiled a little, again and again. He dragged his tongue along his teeth, the slightly stinging pain awaken him from his ridiculous imagination. That shortly before Harry came.  
  
He pushed the front door as he looks a little ... creepy. His curly hair looked like a mess with bit of snows in the top, and his white top was not fully buttoned inside his long jacket.

“God, Zayn!” he pushed his hair away from his face as he pulled a chair in front of Zayn harshly, made an aching voice. Zayn just looked up at him and drank his coffee.  
  
“How— did you bring a car that was given to you from my mom for ’worked’ last night?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Harry covered his face with his hands, he's always like that when angry, though Zayn prefer cussing people around, more calming him down.  
  
“Zayn, a policeman called me this morning, he acknowledged seeing the car license plate near the scene of the murder last night, they searched and found my name. And—“  
  
“Harry, drink your coffee first, you looked so fucked.”  
  
Harry looked at Zayn like he wanted to rip his eyes out right then and there, and then went on to talk again,  
  
“So today they ask for confirmation about this.” He took a deep breath and sipped his coffee, “they are so familiar with my family, so it was not a big deal. They just need a little reason and – you take it easy, Zayn.” He finally leaned back in his chair.  
  
“Am I not, now?”  
  
He did not get an answer. Harry just sipped his coffee a little more to avoid him from killing Zayn.

“Mr. Styles?”

Harry gritted his teeth, and waved his hand toward the officer,  
  
“Harry. It's Harry. “  
  
“Alright, would you join me outside, we need some of your information.”  
  
Harry nodded and the cop walked out of the café. Zayn knew he was no need to worry. He knew Harry, and there is no one in this small town that did not believe in Harry and his family words, that was why he is still breathing today.  
  
“I also have to go, Anne wants to meet me—“ Zayn look towards the counter for a while," and I'll order coffee again it seems.”  
  
Harry made a face like in a pain, “I'm starting to not like you calling my mom by her first name. Well, be careful Zayn.”  
  
Harry hugged Zayn who was still sitting in a chair with tightly, kissed his cheek before finally running out of café.  
  
Zayn walked to the counter again, and this time he was greeted by a guy named Liam earlier.  
  
“Hello, my name is Liam. Can I help you with the order?” He smiled even wider not seemed awkward like before. His eyes were slightly glowing from this close, Zayn thought.  
  
“Café Au Lait. Take out.” He nodded slightly, his lower lip tucked between his teeth again as he went away to make his order.

Zayn kept watching him, the way he walked and his expression as he filled the empty cup with coffee. He just looks so innocent, that which he may need a day and night to make a decision if he should kill him or not.  
  
Liam took his order that has been wrapped, placed it on the table, take the money that has been placed on the table from Earlier, put it to the cashier and pulled out the change.  
  
The older man smiled seductively to Liam, and he just can feel the heat welling on his face.  
  
Zayn signaled Liam to approach him, Liam leaned forward the counter stiffly, Zayn also do the same thing and move until his lips near his ear, barely touching the surface of the skin there, and whispering,  
  
“Thanks, Liam Payne.”  
  
Liam immediately moved back, he felt his body weaken and tremble while giving a slight nod in response to older guy, Zayn just smiled again, and saying, “see you later, Sweet.”  
  
And Liam felt he would meet again with him, soon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? give me a comment pleasee? or kudos if you like this :'')


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You are aggressive, aren’t you?”Seduced tones in it,“— for suddenly hugged me ...”
> 
> or, when Liam probably regretting come to the pub that night.

Zayn was now in the front of luxury House with big yard, five cars were parked in the left of the house near big tree. He parked his car in the opposite side with the other cars. He took his backpack before running to the front door.

He was greeted with a lot of eyes that looking at him curiously, annoyed, disbelieves, and some of them not even cared.

An average woman run to him and hug him tightly, like all his bone could crush in the matter of moment, Zayn just stood there, not even bother to hug back. A mahogany door being opened and another woman peeked from there,

“Zayn? Come here.”

For the last time, the woman in front of him— They called her Sara, women who take care of every step of Zayn— patted his cheeks slowly, as smiled with a hurt implied there,  
  
“Zayn, you’re really worried me.” She was nearly in tears now, but still tried to hold her smile.  
  
“Told you not to—“Zayn inhaled his breath in a heavy way, “—but thanks anyway.”  
  
Zayn kissed her forehead before walking towards the room with mahogany doors earlier.  
  
He came in and then locked it before he went and sat on the couch in front of wood table and which Anne sat behind it. The room was not too bright and the bright light from the snowy sky outside couldn't penetrate the thick red maroon curtains that covered almost the entire window.

“Zayn, how was your night?” she clapped both her hand before smile calmly toward him.

“It was normal like the other normal nights.” Zayn moved a little to lay his back on the sofa more.

“Look, I'm as always so proud of you, for the umpteenth time Zayn, you make them caught up like deer in the headlight—“The woman stood from her chair, walked to the table and sat on it. “Amy is really a good woman, Zayn. I know she will be so proud of you now.”

Amy was a woman that adopted him after his dad passed away when he was ten. She continued his dad’s company for getting money to grown Zayn up and stay alive together, but then something happened to his mom, she disappear in the night and not coming back until now, the reason while Zayn was turning like who he was now. The reason why he never properly stop his feet until he meet the man that he saw taking his mom away with black old Jeep on his birthday, with a box of present on her hand, they dragged his mom away from their house’s gate to the car, and he could only watched it from the window with teary eyes. How could he wasn’t regret it now? Regret why he was just stay in silent, and every _what ifs_ questions haunted him wherever he goes. He thought maybe he better to end everything now.

But it’s not until he met Anne, Harry’s mother. She was a brave woman, he thought. Harry's father had long been divorced with his mother, so his mother turned into a formidable woman for the sake of their lives, until they become the richest people in this small town, as like Zayn was not coming from this city, so he didn’t know much. She had a hospital in Cape Street next to the city park, where Zayn first met her. Zayn told her everything, like this woman invited him to shed all his anxiety on her, and she also promised to help Zayn find his mother again. She employed nearly twenty detectives to find evidence, she built a large mansion house— which now Zayn was in it— as their secret office, until she had also been advised to pay assassins to finish their work, but Zayn rejected, he wanted to do it himself, he wanted them to feel the sadness and despair in that point, until finally Zayn taught how to use knife, but instinct and experience that make him as hard and cruel person as he was today.

“She is disappointed at me.”

“She _was._ You are really a great person now. What— why not you and Harry having fun tonight, I guess both of you not enjoying the party we made last night. Come on, party, pub, drink, girls? Live like young people, won’t you?” She smiled while looking at Zayn through the mirror when she combed her hair.

Zayn laughed a little, run his pointed finger along his brow, and huff,

“Okay, live like young people—“Zayn now stood from his chair,“ –and it’s a _boy,_ not girl.”

She was laughing now and waved her hand in the air, “yes, okay, a boy.” She took a deep breath to stop her to laugh more and continued talk,

“Really, I expected a family dinner with both your man and Harry’s here soon and I can cook Italian food for us. Now, go text Harry before he burned another house for worried at where you are.”

“He did?” he tried not chocked at his own breath

“Nearly.” She waved her hand again before sipped her glass of wine.

“Okay, see you later Anne.”

Zayn gave last hug for her before walked out from the room and the house back to his car.

+++

“Louis, you okay?” Louis eyes dangerously narrowed at Liam who now, bitted his own lips knowing he made a stupid question. Louis straightened his back and folded his hands in front of his chest.

“Of course, I’m so fine today. The woman just yelled at me, complained about how dirty the toilet in this café was and looked at me like my entire life was the reason that toilet get dirtier than before, then there was this kid, putting his milkshake all over the floor like he doesn’t even think if that milk is more expensive than his soul, and let me tell you about a man that glaring at me because I was helping his girlfriend to chose the menu. That’s it, why I look so fine today and you don’t need questioning it Liam. I feel so fabulous now.” Louis gritted his teeth at the last words before he walked to the counter to greet another costumer.

Liam just nodded before Jennifer came and clapped both her hands, getting the boys attention.

“Look, today is really a shitty day—“

“I thought today is your birthday.” Louis narrowed his eyes again but now to Jennifer, who gave another death glare at him.

“Yes Louis, shitty birthday ever. So how about we are going to the small restaurant near the pub in old town street?”

“I can’t –“Liam was cut by Louis, “That is a worse idea I ever heard, you choose small restaurant over a pub? Come on Jennifer, don’t act like my grandmother.”

Jennifer gritted her teeth and moved her hair from her face, “Okay, asshole. But you paid for anything that me and Liam want. You better have a dick to agree with it.”

“Okay, okay. I can do that. Now Payno, tell me you’re in?” all their gazes now in Liam.

“I don’t know, Lou. Thought not save go out until late? You know last night—“Louis cut him again with both his hand raised to Liam’s face as his face a bit stiff.

“Come on, Liam. Help me forget it, get a loose and all. We really need that, plus, who know we may meet some hot guys from another city there.” Jennifer looked at Liam as made a face pretending like vomit and Liam just shrugged and a bit blushing.

“Cut the searching hot guy part and I’m in.”

“Okay.”

+++

Just half an hour after their works ended, Louis’ car with the three of them inside arrived in the small but a bit crowded pub. They walked to the stall and sat there, waiting for the bartender to recognize them.

Louis looked around before chuckled, “A lot of people seemed to going through hell too today.”

Both Liam and Jennifer just laugh it away before the bartender came and they ordered their drinks.

After they finished their first drinks, Liam and Louis turned to order two cans of coke before Liam and Jennifer walk to the empty table and Louis to the pool table joined three guys that already played there.

“Will we spend the morning in this place too?” Liam looked down at his coke before drank it, waiting Jennifer to swallow her fried potato to answer him.

“No. Exactly not. The truth is I have a dinner with both my mom and his boyfriend today, to celebrate this shitty birthday, but I know she just try to impress his boyfriend, pretending to care about me—“She sounded like chocked a little, like she held her breath made Liam looked up at her, but she just throw her tissue to Liam’s face and pretending to laugh, while a bit wiped something on her eyes before continuing talking “— oh how I missed my dad.”

Liam blinked his eyes, like he knew how embarrassed and sad Jennifer now, “I thought you are drunk now.” Making Jennifer paused chewing the fried fries.

“Yes, Liam. So clever, I got drunk because of fried fries. Ha.” At least that side of Liam was lighting her mood a bit.

Liam silence for a moment inside his mind, drifting in the pounding music and the scent of alcohol around him, the glitter of lights that changed from blue, red, and green on the dance floor, several couples in the corner hugged each other as like their feeling could melt in the night snowy wind coming from the small windows in pub, before finally returning to his world when Jennifer pulled him away of the chair to the dance floor,

“I— I can’t dance, Jen.” Liam tried to pull his arm from the older girl’s arm.

“Come on, Liam. Just move your body, it’s already count as dance.” As that Jennifer started dancing and soon a guy came to her, whispered something in seductive way for Liam, and then danced together as their hips moved in sync with the beat and rhythm from the music.

Liam looked around probably hoping he could spot Louis. Then realize that useless before talked, or a bit shouted so he was sure that Jennifer heard him, “I think I will back to our table!”

Jen just turned her attention a bit and waved her hand before continued dancing with that man.

Liam hardly walked when walking back to their table, he was forced to separate some of the couples who were dancing and hugging, bumping someone’s shoulders several times, feet tripped up by something— like shoe maybe, making him dropped slightly to someone with strong arms caught him before he fell down and kissed the dance floor.  
  
And Liam thought, he felt the warmth of the moment.  
  
“You are aggressive, aren’t you?”Seduced tones in it,“— for suddenly hugged me ...”  
  
Liam heard some people laughing, as the man who was catching Liam with both his arms now tightened his hugs.  
  
Liam felt his legs weakened, as both of his legs made of cookie dough, or perhaps jelly, and probably the man in front of him felt it too because he's now pulled Liam closer and tightened his hugs more, lifted him slightly until he stood in perfect position with his face close to the man's neck ,

“Why? Not being able to stand alone with your own feet again?— You’re Interesting.”

And all things on Liam’s head now was the sound of the man laughed with his voice low, deep and lost in his throat,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was it?? give comments or kudos yeaah? :)


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In where everybody got drunk and Zayn accompanied Liam to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, long time!! :)  
> I'm sorry if this one getting so much time to write, for everyone who wait for this chapter. Just a bit down these past days. So I hope you enjoy reading this x :)

With a surprised Liam pushed him away, making a cigarette that stuck between Zayn’s fingers felt to the floor. When their eyes met, Liam remembered this man. He was a man who teased him when he was in the café— man with light brown eyes; which are now mixed into red, orange, or blue every time that spotlight touched his face.

Liam felt all the blood gathered on his face, although now Liam hates him. Zayn walked into his current position before pushed by Liam, he stopped and looked down at Liam, his eyes like has found his favorite place there, like he was trying to both understand his soul and listening to his wild beaten heart that racing with the beat from the music around them.  
  
Liam was not supposed to feel challenged by their position right now, seeing how the man smirked slowly while looking down at Liam who licking his lips again and again to make him sober, he should not want to pull the man to him and felt his fingers dancing wildly in his black hair, how his long eyelids closed slowly when they start kissing, instead he found himself difficulty breathing and how his black jeans getting so tight and he wanted to open up all the clothes he was wearing now.  
  
“You like to play it rough huh?” His tone turned cold, no seductive tones in it but Liam increasingly felt both his palms getting sweaty.  
  
He saw the man licked his lower lip before walk closer to Liam, until there were barely any spaces he could close. How Liam’s breath hitched when the guy’s fingers slid into his sweeter and inside his T-shirt, touching his back skin, moving upward and more every time Liam exhaled his heavy breath that impossible not touching the man's neck.

Liam finally found the courage to push him— again, before running toward to anywhere he did not know where he was going. When he found the toilet door, he rushed into it.  
  
When he turned around, he made a sound like choking because he was surprised. He found Louis sat on the floor, laughing with the arms of curly haired man that sat next to him rounded on his waist tightly, and his big green eyes staring up at Liam with interest, probably not drunk enough to be able to looked like that.  
  
Liam clenched his hands at his side, feeling that man had crossed the line which important to not touch Louis, his friend, and as he walked quickly towards Louis.  
  
 “Louis? Come on, we are going home.” Liam pulled Louis’ arm that continued to laugh and tried to kiss Liam a few times when he pulled him up, holding his waist and Louis’ arms tightly around his neck.  
  
“Are you his friend?” The curly-haired man stood up from the floor as well, patted his jeans a little.  
  
“Yes. Who are you?” Liam was sure he had seen this man too, but still he did not like that man for holding his friend like that.

“I’m Harry. You sure could walk him home?” He pulled Louis to him now because Liam seemed a bit in difficulty while holding Louis, as he directly linked his arms behind Harry’s neck; with his face snuggle to his neck.

“I—no, I could not drive Louis’ car.”  
  
“You are alone together?”  
  
Oh yeah Jennifer! Oh, he also did not know where Jennifer now.  
  
“No, but I do not think she can help right now.”  
  
The man let out his tired sigh before talking, “right, come. Follow me.”  
  
Liam and the man with Louis who holds his waist like koalas, walked out of the pub. They walked to Louis’ car. Liam took the key from his pocket, opened the door and placed Louis in passenger seat in the front.  
  
“Wait a moment,” The man took out his cell phone and called someone.  
  
Soon someone walking out of the back door of the pub with a woman at his side, perfect body hugged by the leather jacket, so cool even in the middle of cold weather that stabbed until his bones, making he felt weird with his sweater. He jogged before finally stopping between Harry and Liam. Liam looked up at his emotionless face and sure, really? How this universe could kicked him hard on his ass with made Liam and the guy who he pushed so many times before at the dance floor met each other again.  
  
“Aw, Zayn. So you found their other friends too?” Harry chuckled.  
  
“She looked so hopelessly drunk in the corner, better to save her I guess.”  
  
Oh no that voice again, that tickled his belly with pleasure, Liam was sure he could disappear quietly now. How much he regret now for being the only one who sober enough to remember anything that happened at this moment in the morning.  
  
Harry opened the back door and Jennifer got inside before running into the other door. Once inside the car, Harry stared at Liam, signaling him to get inside the car immediately with both his brows raised. But when Liam’s hand reached the door’s knob, the other guy grabbed his elbow, pulled him backward and the sound of the other man talking stopped Liam to push him away again for thousand times— or may also stop his heartbeat because all his body felt stiff now.

“He is with me, Harry. I'll take care of him.”  
  
Before Liam could protest, Harry started the engine of the car and gone before Liam able to blink his eyes.  
  
And he was now standing next to the man who truly was the reason he had a bad day, under a heavy snowfall, and he did not say anything, just staring at Liam quietly while blowing cigarette smoke into the air.  
  
He heard the man breathed in disgust and said, “So are you going to say sorry?”  
  
Liam looked him with surprise, but the other guy was just smiling down at him while blowing that cigarette smoke into Liam’s face. How Liam really hate this man more than before.  
  
“I’m sorry! Now get me back to my home!” Liam snapped while moving his hands to make the smoke disappeared from his face, but Zayn’s face showed no resentment, making Liam felt he increasingly looked likes a five years old boy near this man.  
  
“That’s better than nothing.” He let out another smoke with huff before throwing the cigarette to the snowy ground and walked into the park earlier. Liam trot, trying to equate stride with him despite almost slipped several times.

Liam stopped when he saw him get on the motorcycle. He did not use his helmet yet, and turned on the engine.  
  
“Hurry up, could you? Or do you want to walk home alone to your house?”  
  
Liam quickly ran and went on the motorcycle, although he was a little panic. It's the first time he used a motorcycle.  
  
“You just— you need to sit closer to me and you better wrap your hand around my waist. I do not want to be blamed to bring you home with all parts of your body apart from each other.”  
  
Liam felt his cheeks heating up; he couldn’t get too close to this man, even the snows felt like want to drown both of them, so he just held the tip of the man's shirt.  
  
That motorcycle run slower at the first, but suddenly the man speeded it up making Liam pulled backward and almost fell, but he did quickly put his arm around Zayn and hugged him tightly. Liam only laugh at how his face looked like, made Zayn stopped his motorcycle and look back with panic expression which was only a few centimeters from Liam’s face.  
  
“I already told you. You have to hold me—”  
  
“I’m sorry haha.” Liam laughing more, blushing slightly, he looks so innocent, Zayn thought, he looked at him; how his eyes looks so bright when laughing and red lips look more seductive.  
  
Zayn did not know what to do, Liam is so beautiful and hard to resist. Zayn moved closer though Liam was still laughing, until Liam felt if Zayn’s warm breath touched the tip of his nose, he immediately stopped laughing, his eyes widened and he knew what was going to happen, all the laughter like being pulled back into his lungs.  
  
Liam slowly closed his eyes, but the guy in front of him frowned, moved his head away in order to see Liam more clearly but turned around after that and said,

“You’re stupid boy. You're almost dead just now and you can only laugh?”  
  
The man sighed heavily when he looked behind again, where the hurt visible written in Liam’s face. His lips reddened due to the cold snow, brown eyes with dilated pupils, and his eyelids look heavy and increasingly flushed cheeks. Liam was silent, trying to hide his embarrassment and looked down.  
  
He combed his hair frustrated and turned around again “Sorry, I shouldn't—Come on, which direction we should take now?”  
  
+++  
  
The time on the way to Liam’s house run in silence, nobody wanted to open their mouth. Liam increasingly felt uncomfortable; maybe this man did not really want to accompany Liam to his home. Liam sighed with both his eyes closed, his shaking breath disappear in the cold air before stopping the other guy.  
  
“Err, here. Stop here.” The man slowed his motorcycle before stopping at the roadside. He looks back to Liam with a sardonic eye as Liam get off the motorcycle and walk to Zayn’s side, not too close to Zayn for being able to inhale the scent of cinnamon from Liam again. Actually, the house was still a few turns away from where he was standing now, and unfortunately Zayn knew it.  
  
Zayn stared at Liam, and Liam did not understand what the expression on his face was shows, he continued to stare at Liam with his empty gaze. Liam liked him like this; He looked comfortable and dangerous at the same time.  
  
The man looked around before wore the helmet and then start the engine.  
  
Liam hoped he immediately went away now leaving him there alone, because it was better than having him near Liam when Liam knew he regretted to take Liam home, but he didn’t. He looked down like he was not sure to leave Liam there, maybe he knew Liam lying.

“I don’t— really, I don’t know what makes you hating me this much, Liam—“He looked at Liam with this disappointed eyes and said again, “You should have said from the beginning if you do not want me to take you to your home.” He drove his motorcycle away with high speed, left Liam there without a goodbye or a kiss, because Liam thought about that for a few minutes ago. He felt his heart squeezed out of his body, under the falling snows, he hugged his body tightly, feeling the man words run inside his blood, Liam really did not hate him, he really wanted to go home with him, and how could he felt Liam hated him at the same time when Liam felt it was him who hate Liam.  
  
+++  
  
Louis opened up his eyes, but soon jolted awake, unaware of the pain of his head when he was in a different place, a king sized bed, with many paintings that adorn the cream colored walls, this room was so large compared to his room, but it was not how Liam’s room looked like too. He got panic more when he found out Jennifer next to him, sleeping with only her black top, and himself wore his plain dark shirt and pants which was not him.  
  
No, this is impossible.  
  
“No, no what happened—aw!” he paused, realizing his head was so heavy and dizzy, “what the fuck—where I am!” He looked behind and turned to another side. He sprinted to Jenifer’s side, and shook her body.  
  
“Jen, Jennifer! Come on wake up! You think where we are now? Jennifer, come on, you're scaring me—“  
  
“Could you please be quiet? It was 5 o'clock in the morning!” the voice was rough and deep, came from the corner of the room, he could clearly seen in the dark room but he saw someone stood up and moved to the other side of the room before the light turned up.  
  
Louis closed both of his eyes and grimaced slightly, the bright lights heavier his head.  
  
He saw the man leaning with his back to the wall and folded his hands in front of his chest. He was wearing a white shirt with short pants that— a bit looked like which Louis wore right now. His curly hair looked wild as he stared at Louis with his round green eyes, looked so fresh for the person who waking up from sleep.  
  
“Where—who are you?” The curly man raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“You do not know me—oh yeah absolutely.”He tilted his head, made Louis looked from his back, found Jennifer has got up and sat on the bed with folded legs, as she was holding her head.  
  
“Where am I—Mr. Styles?” Jennifer widened her eyes and stood up from the bed.  
  
“I think the café remains open quickly today, and I do not think all of my workers prefer to get drunk till late at night and ended up at the roadside. I do not pay you for it right? This is not the weekend as well.”  
  
The man's voice echoed around the large room, his voice got a bit thick, Louis thought.  
  
“We— we just drink a little to celebrate – my birthday?” She was unsure if the reason was able to convince him.  
  
Harry ran his palm on his face tiredly, “Just a bit? I think that little drink was so strong to make him ended up on the bathroom floor, and you were in the corner of the pub.”  
  
“—we were so sorry, Mr. Styles.”  
  
“I really do not want to give a tolerance to people who let me and my works down. I hope you have another job instead of in my café.”

Harry walked slowly towards them, more precisely toward Louis who still gaping at the man’s words and the rest of the look on his face saying 'Are you fucking kidding me? '  
  
“I'm—we're really sorry Mr. Styles, it just—“ Jennifer was cut by Louis who rose his hand to her face and took few steps towards Harry, “You know, this is not your business, you do not have to take care of us while we were drunk or what we do apart from when we were working in your café. And you do not pay us for it.”  
  
“Louis,”

“It is okay, Jennifer. I want to know, according to him what is my business or not as long as I became the owner of the café.” Surprised, he smiled sweetly toward Louis.  
  
Now Louis who gaped again, no one ever talked to him after he spat at them, used to get people silent or even crying, but what was about this man. And indeed, he was ready now to do anything in order not to get fired.  
  
Harry was staring at Louis who later opened his mouth but shut it again constantly like fish need water, but he then looked at Jennifer who was stood near the large windows of his room looked down ashamed.  
  
“Jennifer, there are a lot of empty rooms in this house, I hope you used it to take a rest before 7am, I certainly hope you all have been at the café at that time. Let me and little Louis finish our important talk.”  
  
Jennifer nodded quickly before walking towards the door and gave one last apologize look to Louis before closing the door tightly closed.  
  
“So what did we were talking about before I cut it a moment ago, Louis Tomlinson?”  
  
Louis rubbed his neck and looked down when Harry walked to the other side of the bed.  
  
“I'm sorry,” he really was regretted that words a moment after they flew out from his mouth, but what he got was a chuckle from Harry who was now lying on his bed.  
  
“I can’t hear exactly what you said.”  
  
“I said I'm sorry” he pressed his lips to keep him for snapped that man and worsen the situation.  
  
“I don’t remember there was a ‘sorry’ part in our previous talk before?—“Harry looked amused at him when all Louis could do just hang down his head. So he continued talking.  
  
“Good. It is already five forty. You want to return to your house now?”  
  
Louis stare at Harry in horror, he expelled Louis at 5 am? in the thick snow? He better tell him to bald his entire eyebrows than to do that, which Harry knew it. He smiled as he patted the empty space next to him on bed.  
  
“Then you better get back to here, before I changed my mind. I like to cuddling someone when I sleeping—“Louis really want to kill that horrible haired man, if not because of his dimples were so tempting and his extraordinary smile.  
  
Louis lay down beside him and moved just a bit to Harry. Harry breathed impatient before finally pull his waist closer as his back faced Harry. Louis could feel how he was breathing slowly in his neck, the warmth it created brought Louis to the edge of his sanity before the man behind him spoke again,  
  
“—And we can talk about how sorry you are about your mouth before, later. You better get proper sleep before it, I’m afraid you will need a lot of strength to convince me.” He purred.  
  
And those words already enough for Louis, not sure how he did sleep properly anymore this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? give kudos or comment, yeah? :)


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That time Zayn's hand gripped Liam's neck, not in romantic way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being so late updating this one, life was a bit rough few weeks ago. so I hope you enjoy this chapter, even its a bit shitty.

It was already morning when his clock on his bedside table ringing, but it’s not for waking him up this time because he already was not sleeping since he headed up from the pub last time. He couldn’t sleep and he didn’t know exactly why, but every time he tried to close his eyes, all things that he remembered just that time he left Liam alone in the corner of the street which still far from his home, under the heavy snowy rain. What made it worse was Liam was the one who wanted him to do that. That’s it—that was the thing that confused him the most, he shouldn’t care about him. He was that normal people that would come and gone in his life and Zayn couldn’t do anything to keep him. He was same like the others, Zayn should know it better. But the truth—he wasn’t and he knew it.

He got up and sat with his feet crossed in front of him. He hissed and pulled his hair harshly before walked to the bathroom.

The water flown down washing his body, his hair plastered to his forehead as he laid his back to the wall. He felt so full of emotion, everything that he felt right now overwhelming him, choked him slowly. He sighed as his hand run from his hair, down to his chest and now stopped on his cock.

He needed a _distraction_ , he thought.

He closed his eyes a bit tight, knowing that he needed this to relax but some parts inside him kept stressing him up. So he keep close his eyes until his breath became steady, as all veins in his body became a bit relax while his hand started to move on his cock painfully slowly.

His mind went wondering, from a man that he met on the bouquet shop, how his eyes kept watching Zayn up and down while licking his own lips, a girl that swinging her hips toward his when in dance floor, and finally ended on a guy that bumped him on the dance floor, how his body felt so familiar on his, the feels from his hands around his waist, the way that boy breath on his neck, how his skin felt on the tip of his fingers, and the way that boy pushed him away when he knew exactly he wanted him, he let out a small moan.

Or exactly that was what Zayn thought, he didn’t want to debate at anything now. Relax, he needed relax, remember?

He moved his hand a bit faster now, the thought of that curly boy filling him, not in sexual way maybe, because he keep smiling but his heart felt like being twisted, as his hand kept working of the thought that guy hated him now. When all Zayn wanted was just a proper name from him, or a kiss he might stole that night if he could stop himself from pushing people away or when his temper ruined everything.

Now his fantasy already drown him down because all he could think now was that guy on his knees willing to do anything to make Zayn forgave him as he tried to imagine that plumb lips of him being around the tip of his cock, how his fingers would grab his curly hair tightly to force him to move, but it stopped right there, because— that’s all he could think, no more.

He groaned tiredly as he pumped faster and faster down there, but he didn’t get the feeling. He never felt as frustrated as anything right now while his imaginary couldn’t gave the real feeling he dying to feel. He finally released as his hand keep working until his last coming that flown by the shower water down the drill.

The thought to relax with that boy really worsen his mood now.

 

~~~

 

“Good morning Zayn.” He was greeted by the smell of coffee and a warm smile from a woman when he pushed the door opened.

He walked to the sofa, as the maid handed him his cup of coffee before left the room. He took a sip at it and lay his head down on the sofa to get more comfortable.

She rummaged at some stock of papers on her table before let out a simple huff after she got what she searching for and turned around to face Zayn.

“You’re going to have a bit hard work tonight. We’re in the way to the climax, Zayn.” She knocked her heels to the floor while her smile getting bigger, as walked up to hand Zayn the papers she held before.

Zayn’s eyes roamed over each paper, stop a while just to read for once again some details, and finally stopped on the picture of his next victim. The man was with gray hair, dark blue eyes, and pale skins. He looked older than his aged, because he had crinkles under his eyes and forehead.

“Adam Moure…” He let each word slipped out from his lips, one by one as he trying to taste his name, imagine how that man looked up at Zayn from wherever he sat, he then closed his eyes slowly to get into his feeling.

It was kind like a ritual for Zayn. That time when he looked at his victims’ pictures, said their name out like a mantra, and killed them first inside his head before the real battle came.

“Yes. Adam Moure. An ex husband to Jesse Osborn. They had married on 2001 but divorce two years later. He lived with their adopted daughter name Carla Mesa, she was nearly like eighteen years old, in an expensive bungalow near Snow Town Lake—“

Zayn looked up from the paper, to Anne, wanted to tell her how clever and amazing she was now talking like a secret agent in that criminal movie, but found out that she held down a paper, probably read the information down.

“I thought—“

She raised a single brow, “don’t expect me wrong, kid. I have a life, and these stuffs not even included in them. My money is already enough for them.”

Zayn run his finger along his brow before stood up. “I will do it tonight, see you – until the time I finished it. I will go to check Harry first to say good bye.”

He got a small nods and warm pats on his cheeks before pushed the door open and closed it tight on the way out.

He walked to the stair, up until he reached the third floor and found two separated corridor. Harry’s room was in the left. Eventually the right corridor was a room for their imagination, or they could usually call them as _Corner of the Heaven_. Where Zayn have a big room for placing all his painting on the wall, no one grumpy when there were a lot of paint on the carped, splayed along the wall. Where Harry was putting down his best collected wines in a big cupboard that placed along the other side of the wall with the racks for their books were beside it. There were three red sofas placed behind the coffee table, and soft, warm and fluffy carpet under neat it, blanked the floor, all floor, the small Plasma TV on the wood table, with console and music box near it, when a giant living room’s lamp hung down in the middle of the room.

He pushed open the door, no need to knock, because – it was Harry, and he was Zayn. He stopped, not even reach the middle of the room, found Harry stood near the big glasses window which the dark blue curtain already tighten with a ribbon, and it opened, where Harry’s hair moved a bit because of the morning snow wind, he looked up to Zayn, not even surprised as a small warm smile tugged his lips.

“So you’re going to _work_ again, tonight”

“Yes, stop here to say good bye.”

“When is it?” Harry closed the window as he laid his back there. Zayn walked closer to the small sofa near the window and sat there, looking at Harry with both his eyebrows drawn together.

“Sorry?”

“I said – when will you get back here? Promise me you will enjoy your homecoming party because I will make this one based on our _taste.”_

“I don’t know probably three or four days or even sooner than that. It is two cities from here, and everything is still the same like that time I left them, so no need to figure anything out. And it is not a crowded city; maybe it isn’t hard to clean it with no witness.”

Harry nodded simply, still silent and Zayn used it to continue talking.

“Homecoming party that created by you, hmm? What will you do to make it special? I’m going to have you stripped for me or?” Zayn let out this soft laugh and a pillow that thrown at him as a quick respond.

“You know I want to, Zayn. You know that I always want to lick every ink that colored your skins, but you know more if I prefer not. But I can make one of my workers does that to you, the one with wild brown curly hair, big brown puppy eyes, that plumb red lips that no one can’t resist, when he can turned you into this kind of Zayn that want to burn every piece of his clothes right there, right behind the counter— what was his name?”

Zayn got this pinched look on his face “Why— how could you know that? I don’t even tell it to you.”

“Zayn, I saw it with my eyes that time when we met on my café. You kept talking to me but your eyes were all over him. It’s already three years from the first time I seen you liked someone, but not in the way like him—you’re never look at me like that too.” Harry huffed, but Zayn shook his head.

“ _He doesn’t like me._ ” He said it like a whisper, like everybody would judge him if they heard it. Harry raised a single brow at that.

“Excuse me?”

“He doesn’t like me, Harry. Last night—I didn’t even had a chance to go to his home, he asked me to stop the motorcycle at the corner of the street which still so far away from his home, he said he was arrive – there was his house, but it is not! There was no need to lie to my face.”

“Zayn,”

“I couldn’t ask more from a guy like that, Harry. He is _same_ like _the others_ ”

Zayn tried to blur the few last words, because no – he isn’t same like the others and Zayn knew it from the first time their eyes met. And Harry didn’t want to fight him now, couldn’t do anything to change his mind even he knew in the end Zayn was always wrong.

Harry exhaled his breath a bit loud, as he walked to the bed and sat near the sleeping boy. He pushed his dark brown hair that covering his eyes to the side, “He is beautiful, right? He looks more peace than when he is awake, his mouth is a _chaos_.”

“You mean your new _pet_?” Zayn pointed his finger at the boy and then to Harry.

Harry just let a heavy sigh out before his hand moved to grab another pillow, but there was nothing unless the pillow that used by Louis, which he refuse to take, instead thought for grabbing his bedside lamp to throw at Zayn, but soon refuse it again, knowing it more expensive than Zayn’s face.

Zayn just stood from his seat with giggling that made his eyes crinkle like a cat, “Okay, see you later.”

Zayn just grabbed the door knob before Harry hugged him from behind,

“Take care, Zayn. I love you.” He murmured and his forehead rested on Zayn’s shoulder.

“You know I always do that, and I love you too, Harry.”

Zayn just turned around to give Harry a proper hug before turned around again and walked out from the room.

 

~~~

 

Liam just stood behind the counter, he kept nodding his head apologized and faced the old woman with big brown glasses who rambling a lot non sense things about how dirty the toilet was, how the coffee tasted like a mud, how all the workers looked like a life corps that moving around and all. This was the third time people complained to him that day.

It all started with Louis phone call said that he couldn’t come because his hang over was terrible until he couldn’t figure out where he was that time—which was a truth because he was right in Harry’s room— how Jennifer couldn’t look at people who ordered their coffee without looking like she wanted to chop their head away from their body right there, with a baggy eyes which turned narrowed to slit and more dangerous every time someone called her name, and Liam that need more hours for sleep for god’s sakes because he couldn’t even closed his eyes without a horrible feeling smashed his stomach last night, but he was the one who responsible to take care of every mess today – because only him that looked more sane than the others today.

He cleaned some empty cups before arranged them on the racks, but his eyes couldn’t stop eyeing the front door every ten minutes. He was afraid if the man from last night didn’t want to meet him anymore, that he wouldn’t even want to come to that café, and Liam didn’t have a last chance to apologize to him.

Having a thought about that was enough to make his face looked older.

It was ten in the morning, while Liam talked to middle aged man, gave a suggestion about what coffee was taste good. There when Liam looked up to the front door— for like who knows how many times that day— saw the guy from last night, he looked more simple today, just wearing black jeans, white t-shirt, maroon beanie with a backpack on his back, pushed the front door.

He felt his heart was racing so fast, until the beating sounds felt like reaching his ears. He didn’t want to try to figure out what the man in front of him said because he wasn’t the important one in here, but he kept talking which made Liam finally gave up and turned his attention to this man again.

“So I want to order that coffee— for two.” Liam nodded and placed the paper on the table before he called Jennifer so Jennifer would be the one who serving him, because why not, he really doesn’t care about this man.

Then when he turned around the man from last night—Zayn, already stood on the front of the counter, still the same, without smile or anything. Liam walked closer to the counter, he bit his lips and a looking anywhere but that man. In a split of seconds he regretted he met him again.

Liam pulled much air before began to talk.

“Hello, welcome to Amore café, my name—“

“I want Cappuccino with more chocolate and that cheese with blueberry jam shortcake, wrap it up to go.”

Liam nodded before turned around to the coffee machine.

It was truly hurt, the way Zayn not even looked Liam in the eyes when talking, he just took out his wallet and placed his money on the table and turned around, his back facing Liam who bit his lower lip to prevent him from crying there.

He placed his order in the bag and handed it to him,

“Thanks” he murmured it softly.

Liam took the money, placed it inside the cashier before he looked up for bringing the changes but that man already pushed the front door out from the café.

It was Liam who now sprinted out from the back of the counter, didn’t even looked back while Jennifer yelled to him to get back there soon.

He pushed the front door hardly, but found no one, no car. He looked to his side but found nothing. His breath hitching whiles his heartbeat getting noisier. He couldn’t miss that man again. He then walked to the side of the café and saw a figure of that guy already walked to a car that parked on the corner of that parking side.

He then sprinted again, not caring much even the snowy air frozen his throat, but somehow his body felt so warm.

“Hey—wait—Zayn!” Liam gasped as he tried to speak and taking a breath in the same time, like he couldn’t choose which one was the most important. He stopped not so far from a guy that opened his car’s front door but closed it again as soon as he heard Liam called him.

He turned around but not letting a single word out from his perfect thin lips.

Liam walked closer stiffly toward him who laid his back on his car’s door now, put both his hands in each his jeans pocket, facing Liam.

“Err you forgot your—“Liam took much air as he licked his lips because god know it was so damn cold outside and he wore this stupid working shirt that so thin but the guy in front of him looked so comfy with his damn thin white t-shirt, and still looking hot until he didn’t understand why the snows under his feet not melting, “— _money._ ”

He took the money from Liam’s hand and nodded, “Thanks.”

Then Liam who now dead on his position as his head kept judging him, _now turned away and back to the café,_ or _no, no keep stand there and ask about his day_ , or _yeah just stand there like a fool until you die in frozen._

The last option could be the best death of him, _at least die when he was next to Zayn_.

He still stood there like a teenager wanted to ask someone out to a dance party in the hallway until the sound from the guy in front of him muttered _shit_ , made Liam was more not sure about what should he do, and Zayn huffed impatiently again.

“You make everything turned hard, don’t you? What do you want now?”

Liam snapped his head up, and looked at the guy who his brows drawn together as his lips pursed in a line, looked so damn annoyed now.

“I want to explain something.” Liam mumbled but the guy heard it.

He then bitterly laughed as he took his cigarette and his lighter out from his pocket and lighted it,

“Then _explain_ whatever you want to explain, babe.”

Liam took two steps upward, “I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t want to make you to think that I’m hating you, it just— I thought you were the one who hate m—“

“I do not hate you.” He let out the puff smoke to Liam face again, but this time Liam just blink it away, knowing he deserved anything to make this guy forgave him, made the guy smile mischief at him. He then opened his eyes again, looking at Zayn who now have a smirk on his face.

“Why—why you don’t? You have to hate me, I hit you when we were on the dance floor and, and I made your cigarette fell down—“

“I don’t mind.”

“But I pushed you away and your friends laughing at you. You have to hate me because – I made you think that I hate you when I was not— never, I am not hating you—“

“I do not hate you, Liam.”

“That’s not irrelevant, you should hate me if I was you— I’m stupid and curly, no body like curly haired guy because I – when I smiled I looked like a horse, that’s how my classmate said to me. And you should hate me more because I think you are cool and your leather jacket is cool too, and your beanie and oh—did I already mention what is the first reason that you should hate me that—“

Zayn clicked his tongue and throw the cigarette to the ground.

that was enough for Zayn to pull the boy in front of him by his front shirt roughly and push him against the car as their body just few inches away, his feet were between the boy feet, as his hand still grabbed the other boy front shirt who looking at him with wide eyes now.

“I said I don’t hate you, Liam. Couldn’t your ears working properly now?”

No, nothing in Liam was working properly now when his body was trapped with this tanned skinned guy.

“I’m— sorry” Liam gasped when the man’s hand move to his neck and tighten his grip.

“You better be. Once my friend told me how someone’s mouth could be a chaos this morning, but I didn’t believe him, until now—“He freed his hand from Liam’s neck to tilting his head to the side where the other hand held the car’s door.

His nose nuzzling on Liam’s neck and nib a bit the cold and stiff already skin there, made Liam surprised, pushed him a bit backward as a reflection, but the guy soon back to his position and hissed as his hand grabbed Liam’s neck again hardly, for a second he thought it would be easier to broke his jaw and his neck,

“Don’t you fucking dare to push me like that again.”

Liam shook his head faster, looked at him with his watery eyes, like how people used to look at him, Zayn thought.

“You know what, Liam? Your attitude could be the death of you.”

He looked down at Liam. How his lips became redder and opened because he was struggling to take a breath, his curly hair more wild and snowy, how his brown eyes turned a bit like dark chocolate as he looked up at Zayn. This situation really turned him on for being honest.

As that he moved his hand from the guy’s neck down to his chest, bumping over his nipple through his shirt, and done that again, as he franticly watching Liam expression turned into pained, pleasured, and embarrassed, as Liam let out a shaky breath to hold his moan, not wanting Zayn to know if he like what he has done to him.

He could play with him all day. He could do that now, brought him to his house and forgot everything.

With this guy kept moaned ‘Zayn, Zayn—let me go’ shakily, and how his hand reached Zayn’s hip but pull his hand back to his side again as if he thought Zayn would be mad at him, already drove him to the edge of happiness he never felt before

But soon when his eyes caught the time on his watch, he needed a moment until his brain worked again as he pushed Liam away from his car. Liam tried his hardest not felt down because of the slippery ground and the dizzy of pleasure he felt inside his head, that turned his vision to black before came normal again.

Zayn really need to go now, this boy could wait him, but not with his victim.

Liam watched Zayn as he lighted his cigarette and huff the smoke a bit frustrated out, before turn his body to face Liam again.

“You’re lucky that I’m so busy today.” As that the older man opened his car front door and get inside. He then drove his car out from the café parking side without single look at Liam.

It was not fair, Liam thought. Everything about this guy was never fair to Liam. He found himself having no control about everything inside him whether this guy perfectly aware of everything he done to Liam.

It was like Liam finally have the air inside his lungs, Zayn sucked it out from him, like he seen the light but this guy turned the light off again, it was like Liam thought Zayn was a man from his beautiful and romantic dream, but soon in the matter of second shown him if he was the _nightmare_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please give me a comment, kudos, or anything idk, come talk to me yeah?


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You… You killed my f –father…”  
> That was a voice that caught Zayn attention that time when he still admired his work, the deep beautiful scars drawn all over the dead body’s skin, came from his back.  
> He looked over his shoulder. He found a girl with blonde long curly hair sat on the floor where both her palms closed her mouth, prevented her to scream, when both her blue eyes wide in terror.  
> Zayn softly smiled and walked toward the shaking and silently sobbing girl.  
> He stopped in front of her as he bowed his body until his face in a level with her ear and said,  
> “They killed mine first…” as he kissed her cheek a bit and walked to the garage door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is the next chapter for anyone who already wait for it, enjoy it! :)

was already late in the afternoon when Zayn arrived in Snow Town Lake Resident. He parked his car in the front of the Velvet Motel, the nearest motel to that rich man’s bungalow, as he got inside to book one room and got out from there as soon.

He chose to walk to that man’s house.

There were so many colors that collapsed into each other, there in the dark sky; somehow there were the white, the yellow, the violet, the orange and hugged by the dark itself. He sometimes wondered, did they, the universe, hating him for trying to find his own truth in his life without waiting for their timing to happen.

He walked slowly with a cigarette tugged between his red trembling lips and both his hands that already covered by black gloves put inside his jacket pockets.

The road was a bit crowded. Some couples and old people walked passed him, where he was wishing he could meet with familiar faces from his childhood, but no, he wasn’t.

He finally stopped in the front of a bungalow, with big green gate and an old Toyota car parked on the garage which the door still opened.

He pushed the gate easily, tossed the cigarette to the ground before and walked to the garage. He waited there.

He still waiting, all sounds that filling his ears was his own steady heart beat and his calm breath. He counted his breath— one, two three, and then reaching the twenty before he started again.

He was reaching nine when someone pulled the door knob and opened the door with squeaky sounds. He was in the corner of that dark garage where the only light came from a small neon lamp that hanging down in the middle of the room. He stood there with closed both his eyes as he listened to the man’s steps to the garage door. Soon the garage door was closed with the sound like a train running in the rail filling the small room.

The man was rummaging something on his car when Zayn found himself walked toward him. He then stopped not so far behind him.

“Good evening.” He said conversationally, like they were in the same aged and talked about their crush girls in the hallway.

The man snapped his head back and turned around surprising, his glassed nearly slipped down over his nose, but he pushed it up before it. Their eyes meet as— yeah his expression turned normal again. Really expensive actor, Zayn thought, but even he looked normal, Zayn could swear he saw the fear dancing on his eyes.

He straightens his back, “Who are you?”

Zayn had a small smirked played on his face as he walked closer to the man, made the man looked a bit coughed up and tried to move backward but his back already glued to the car.

“Y – You know, I’m not going to pay you and your men, I’m not – I’m not going to export that thing again from you this time, I— already told your boss from the phone this morning, I’m going to move to Alaska tomorrow, so there will be no relation between you—and—me.” He gasped a little when Zayn, who now still smirking, took out a small knife from his jacket pocket.

“I don’t know about what you said, babe. Could you—“ Zayn stood just some inches from the man, and bowing his body a bit, so he could look at the man’s eyes clearly and said, “—could you at least, let me introduce myself first, before we— _playing?”_

The man froze on his position, as Zayn run his knife on his cheek, down to his lips, and chin and stopped on the vein that a bit visible on his neck’s skin as he murmured ‘ _I take that as a yes.’_

“I –My name is Zayn.” The man’s brows drawn together and confused played along his face.

“Zayn— Zayn Malik, babe.” Those words successfully made the man wider his eyes as his face turned paler than before. He shook his head fast, a broke sob let out from his mouth as the words ‘ _Please, please forgive me, please I have a daughter’_ slipped out.

Zayn just smile fondly and softly shook his head as he put his pointed finger in the front of his red lips, gave a sign to the man to remain silent, when his smile grown bigger and evilly as his eyes turned shade of black now.

~~~

It was seven in the evening when Liam changed his uniform to another uniform, the one with white button up shirt and black jeans, for getting into his night shift. He looked up to the front door, found Louis, who already wore the uniform for night shift, got inside the café with the curly man—Harry, he met last night in pub, followed behind him.

Both of them walked with Louis held Harry’s hand and pulled him so he could walked faster, but they seems too awkward to be a couple, and too close to be just friends.

They separated near the counter, where Harry walked past to his office and Louis walked to the kitchen without any words and last glances.

Liam just narrowed his eyes and watched Louis movement as he got inside the kitchen, and back to clean the counter.

The reason why Liam liked the night shift, it was probably because of the situation there. Where the café nearly full but everything was calm and silent, like all people were really want to relax there and got lost inside their own little world. The aromatic candle lighted up on every table, tricking his nose a bit because every smell now pouring to each other. From the big closed windows he could see the snows fall heavily.

Louis finally walked out from the kitchen, and stood behind the counter, Liam cleaned the table in the middle of the room before seen Louis. He cleaned it faster then walked up to Louis in hesitated.

“I thought you were sick!” Liam punched his armed playfully but the death glare that Louis gave to him probably told the opposite.

“I saved your ass and Jennifer! Can I get the thanks instead?” Louis ran his hand on his face tiredly.

“Louis—Are you okay?”

Louis shook his head, “Not today, Liam. Not today.”

 

~~~

“You… You killed my f –father…”

That was a voice that caught Zayn attention that time when he still admired his work, the deep beautiful scars drawn all over the dead body’s skin, came from his back.

He looked over his shoulder. He found a girl with blonde long curly hair sat on the floor where both her palms closed her mouth, prevented her to scream, when both her blue eyes wide in terror.

Zayn softly smiled and walked toward the shaking and silently sobbing girl.

He stopped in front of her as he bowed his body until his face in a level with her ear and said,

“ _They killed mine first…”_ as he kissed her cheek a bit and walked to the garage door.

The way he walked to the door filled with a soft sobbing but soon ended with,

“ _Thanks._ ” her voice sounded croaked and broken.

Zayn turned around, the girl already stood on her position and both her arms hugged her body tightly. She only wore a black night gown, but that wasn’t the point for Zayn who raising his brows toward her now.

He never really mind to kill a person even they were not written on his list, trust him, he would pleased to.

“Take—Take me with—you, please.”

“Why would I?”

“Look, you’ve killed my father! What do you think I could do without him—“

“I could do the same thing to you too if you want.”

Tears fell so damn fast now from the girl’s eyes, but Zayn remained in silent, watching her crying like that step mother in Cinderella movie.

“I don’t meant like that—“she whispered due to her soaked throat, “It just— what would I said if the police asked me about this? They would blame me even how hard I try to explain, the will blame me.”

“Are you stupid or tried to look like one? They won’t blame you because it wasn’t your finger prints all over his skins.”

Zayn turned around again but before he could push up the garage door, the girl’s small hand grabbed his jacket and said, “Aren’t we in the same condition?”

“No.” Zayn remained in his position, not even faced the girl who still sobbing, hard now.

“Please, you could take me as my father apologized, I will do anything you asked me for. I promise.”

“Killed him was enough—now, you get off of me before I changed my mind.”

Now the girl was felt to her knee and held Zayn’s foot, sobbing more tragically, begged him to take her.

Zayn breathed impatiently before grabbed her hair to pull her up to her hair again; she was such a waste of time.

“You walk next to me until my place, don’t avoid people’s eyes, you fucking act normal. If this shit going harder, you know I’ll never think twice to kill you on the side of the road.”

She nodded and Zayn gave her his jacket before tugged her out instantly out from that house, because they really didn’t have much time to change her outfit, put the makeup on, to treat her like a fucking lady, he was so not having a fucking time for that.

The street was surprisingly empty, just a couple of cars that ran passed them when they reached the corner of the street to the place where he booked a room.

Not even reached twenty minutes they arrived there. No one questioned them. Zayn opened his car front door before looked at her and said, “This is the key to my room, you sleep inside and I will stay in my car—“

“No way!” She shook her head fast and folded her arm in front of her chest.

“Why the fuck not!” Zayn snapped at her face, she turned panic and looked down.

“I—you will leave me when I got inside—“

“I’m not”

“Just let me stay with here, please.”

Zayn looked down at her. He could swear something inside him screamed at him for treating a girl like that. He supposed not to do that, because she was just a girl, she didn’t have any idea about what his dad did. Same like him. They took his mom, but they didn’t take him with them, not even touching him. He was probably fine, but he was selfish, he wanted his mom to come back, or if he couldn’t, he wanted all of them felt his sadness, the madness that drown him, when wishing a good bye to this world seemed easier than to face it.

He huffed loud before got inside his car and unlocked the other door. She move around the front car and got inside to the passenger front seat.

They got silent for a long time. Zayn pulled out his pack of cigarette and lighted one as he putted it down on the dashboard of his car. He was not even rolled the window, made the smoke stuck there.

The girl pulled out one cigarette with a smile toward Zayn as she lighted it, she pulled out the smoke and huffed it to Zayn’s face but Zayn just turned his face away to look to the outside of his window.

“I ever thought about that, you know, killing my dad, because life seemed harder and he made it worse. He is— since he broke up with mom, he changed somehow. Got home with the smell of the alcohol and ended up on my bed. You know I couldn’t say no, because—because he paid anything that I need. I—“she paused for wiped her tears as she inhale the smoke again. Zayn’s vision was still on the window.

“I tried to accept everything that happens, but it was getting worse and worse. He even brought his friends to home to—you know, I don’t need to explain it to you—“

“To having fun with you.”

“Y –yeah, they paid me of course, but it was not about the money, you know.” She tied her curly hair to a messy bun, as Zayn flicked his cigarette and laid his back on the seat.

“Your ass is probably rich as hell.”

“We were. Not until he involved in, I don’t know how to say it, he sent so many pills to outside the city, but his boys sabotaged it, stole it and runaway until his own money couldn’t afford the bills anymore. His death maybe on someone’s list too, like on mine as well.”

Zayn smirked when he rolled the window to throw the cigarette outside the car and rolled it up again and said, “You naughty daddy’s girl.” Zayn turned his attention to the girl now, his eyes just watching her, probably searched the hint if this girl lied but she seemed not.

The girl looked away and bit her lips, her check redder a bit. She turned to Zayn again.

“It kind like not fair for me you know? Your face is so beautiful, made all dirty mocking words sound like a flirt.”

Zayn just looked at her without any expression.

They got silent again after some breathtaking topic of talk.

Zayn pushed his seat backward until he nearly like a sleep position. He looked to his side, the girl—named Carla, just hugged her body with her arms, she still wearing Zayn’s jacket, but for god’s sake it was winter and she was only in her sleep gown.

“Come here.”

She looked at Zayn, her face lighten up a bit. She moved to sit at Zayn lap and rest her head on Zayn’s neck.

“I’m not going to apologize for killing your dad.”

“I don’t mind it, stranger.” She sounded soft and sleepy.

Soon her heartbeat became steady and it was so clear on Zayn chest’s skin. The sounded like someone sleeping filled the car’s space, but not making him sleepy or even close to tired. He was not.

He took his phone from his pocket and called Harry.

“Zayn!!” he picked after two beeps

“Hi.”

“How was it, are you quite finish it?”

“Yes, easier like always.”

“That’s my boy, always so proud of himself. So how— Louis, where is my coffee?!” there were so many gushed sounds before he talked again, “ _Damn, look at that ass_ , Zayn. So bombed”

“Harry,”

“I— alright. So how are you, baby boy?”

“What the fuck is that name, Harry? I—I’m fucking fine!” He looked out from his window, bit down a smile. Harry was stupid, but he loved him, and probably killed anyone who tried to change that side of him.

“Calm down, yeah. So when will you get back home? Party, party, party!”

Zayn bit his lips as he thinking, “Maybe tomorrow night or the next morning.”

“Alright, I will arrange it.”

Another gushed sounds were there, and a soft man’s voice talking. He clicked his tongue before spook up again,

“Harry, where— how are Liam? Is he there?”

Harry blew a whistle and giggling before answer him, “Yes he is right there, behind the counter, in the place where he belongs to. He is okay, except his lips and his biceps and— yeah his lips, I wonder what that plumbed red lips taste like with a glass of wine,”

“Harry,” Zayn growled of that thought, he mean, probably Zayn couldn’t do anything if Liam chose Harry over him, because he is that rich ass with charming image and himself? He was just a dork with his leather jacket which make every teenage girls felt head over heels at him.

“I’m kidding Zayn, I probably don’t have time for him, I have my favorite with me now, unless he wants some company—“he got another growls as a respond, “Okay, okay. Just make sure you come home fast yeah, I missed you.”

“Okay. I missed you too. Bye then.” He closed the phone as his eyes closed slowly.

Not so long, he heard a police cars raced passed them with loud sirens, followed by the ambulance as well. He felt Carla sniffed on his chest, her body a bit shaking as she muttered _I’m so afraid_. Zayn run his hand on her curly hair that already felt on her back freely, as he hushed her to go back to sleep.

He always calm even the time like this. Because why not? He ever felt down, so down he couldn’t crawl up from his life. He ever seen something worse, and he knew it, nothing worse could happen to him anymore. He used to be afraid to anything, but now, he was the one that everything afraid of.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how was it?? give a comment or kudos or just talk to me it's okay :)


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You were probably making a wrong choice to walk to this room, Liam.” Zayn caressing his back through his sweater, made all his back muscle felt so relaxed.   
> “I’m not regret it—“  
> By that Liam’s hair got tugged, forcing him to look up to Zayn, who looked down to his eyes too.  
> “You better to keep it. Because once you are inside, there is no way out. Because what was mine, it will always be mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is going so long, because that time my network didn't working i kept writing things, so hope you enjoy it :)

Hello Seattle by Owl city played as the background music inside Zayn’s car as it running in the road to Chanson Town—the town where Harry’s family lived— which only took like one and half hours before their arrived there. They already had their breakfast first in small restaurant near their motel and stopped for buying clothes for Carla in the shop next to it. She wore black shirt that tugged inside her cream skirt with a pair white shoes, probably much better than a night gown.

Zayn was tapping his fingers on his tight as he drove the car, with a cigarette tugged between his lips as he thinking about the best reason to explain to Anne why he took this girl with him. He glanced his phone that laying on the dashboard every minutes, should he tell this to Harry first?

“Do you mind?” he turned around to look to Carla that asked his permission to open the window’s car.

“’s okay” Zayn said as he took the cigarette and putted it between his fingers and blew the smokes out from his lips.

Everything was silent on the way to Harry’s town, each of them drawn inside their fantasy, future and whatever was that.

~~~

Liam was served old couples two cups of black coffee and some doughnuts while Louis and Harry sat on the table in the corner near the big windows, sitting closer to each other, Harry’s left hand wrapped around Louis waist and the other held a news paper as he read and listening to whatever Louis talking in the same time, Louis laid his back on Harry’s chest, with head on his neck as both his hands holding his mug.

Liam was happy at Louis as much as he wanted to grab his neck. Because all his work became double now, he had to do Louis’s work too, like clean the toilet and tables, which made himself easily got tired after that but he had a night shift too for fuck’s sakes. Which Harry had this smug expression every time Louis said he wanted a break for a while, when ‘a while’ in Louis’ head mean until his shift ended that day.

“Liam, Harry wants to talk to you.” Louis put his empty cup on the table behind the counter.

Liam raised both his brows as looking at Harry who walking to the counter now. Harry took out his wallet and took out a piece of paper, handed it to Liam, which Liam took with his curious brown eyes looked down at it as lower lip tugged between his teeth,

“8 pm don’t be late.” Harry ran his hand through his curly black hair, and laid his back on the counter. Liam wiggled his brows as read down an address that written on the paper, with a small note under it said ‘party tonight’. Liam huffed and placed the paper on the counter,

“I can’t. I have a night shift today.” As that he turned around to place some cups on the racks.

Harry had this surprised looked on his face as he muttered _shit, am I going to working hard to get his ass in the party?_ Toward Louis who now smiling apologized to him. Harry tapped his finger on the counter before spoke up again.

“I think you better have to.”

“I said I can’t.” Liam turned around and raised both his brows to Harry, who ran his finger along his lips impatiently, and spoke again,

“I guess you have to, because if you aren’t, there will be no night shift anymore, and for make it special, you will get fired too, Liam.”

Liam felt his breath hitched and said, “Who do you think—“

“Aw come on, Liam. Don’t make everything seems hard. This party is going to be so amazing, and I will be there too, which will make the party more interesting. And I know you will not regret it if we go, plus Harry is the owner of this place and he allowed you to go. So?”

Louis had this creepy smile on his face, somehow told Liam to just agree with that so they will get back to their own life. Liam just shrugged before walked to the kitchen; left Louis mouth still hang opened and Harry gritted his teeth.

“I can—don’t worry Harry, we will come. I can handle him.” Harry walked closer to Louis as he run his thumb along Louis lower lips, and his eyes back to meet with Louis’ eyes,

“I hope I can trust you right now. See you tonight.” As that he turned around and walked to the front door.

~~~

As the big front gate being opened, the black Chevy impala got inside the house yard and parked in its side. Zayn with grey shirt and black jeans and his backpack on his back got out from the car and walked to the house with Carla run a bit to follow Zayn behind him.

The first things he knew when he pushed the front door was the sounds of a lot of people clapping and cheering congratulated him. But soon it was changed with a dead silent when Carla looked at them from behind Zayn, made Harry stopped dead in his position that he already raised his hands to give Zayn a hug.

“Who is this, Zayn?” Harry was lowering his voice. He was not sure maybe he was the only one who didn’t know this girl. They made Zayn cursing himself under his breath. He shouldn’t bring this trouble to his home, but fuck because that girl kept begging him last night.

“Carla. She will stay in here until— until I know what I should do to her.” Zayn knew he was the one who wrong but he buried it down as Zayn walked to the stairs toward his room, leaving Carla that had this lost puppy expression written on her face, stood in the middle of everybody’s attention.

Zayn took a short shower and shaved before walked to his bed. He needed sleep then anything in this world. He closed his eyes for a while before he heard his room’s door being opened and closed again. Someone’s walking to his bed and sat on the edge of it.

“And now, you made me confuse, Zayn.” It was Anne.

“I don’t know what to do with her.” He answered. He still closed both his eyes and now lay on his back.

He heard she typed something on her phone and sighed, “You sure she is not harming us?”

“Like fifty percent?” Zayn smiled a bit, and Anne sighed again.

~~~

“Come on, Louis—this party—I really don’t fit there, I don’t even know anybody unless Harry.” Liam ran a hand on his face. He wore gray button up shirt and black jeans, Louis didn’t really give him much time to debate about things he should wear, or probably because he didn’t have anything interesting to wear to party, like he ever went to any.

Louis huffed and slower his car, the road a bit crowded due evening time. There were a lot of people walking and laughing on the side of the road, so many bright lamps street that Liam never thought a small town like this had. He never went to this town before, Chanson town, even it just took forty five minutes; if the road was clear, to arrive there. Because he just didn’t have a reason too, no body he knew lives there. He imagined there would be trees everywhere, small amount of people that having time outside their home, there could be so cold and wet and silent. But no, it was probably so far from that.

Louis just moved to turn the stereo on, played a soft music; just a classic rock playing there, he then turned his attention to the road again, like Liam didn’t even talking before, honked for some cars that ran slowly in front of them.

“I—I’m sorry.” Liam muttered. His head was still facing the window.

“No, I’m _sorry—_ ” Louis gave a single tap on the steering wheel after he answered, to get Liam’s attention.

Liam got silent; he bit his lower lip down. Making Louis mad was never a good idea. He usually snapped all the time until his anger pulled out, but when he gave you this silent treatment, mean you truly hurting him—or maybe he confused inside?.

“— Like I had a choice to not bring you to the party tonight, Liam.”

“ _Why?”_ now Liam turned to Louis who still focused on the road.

“Because—ah you don’t even want to know it, Liam. And probably it is not a good time to tell you about this. I promise next time when we are free, I will do sleepover on your home. I’m going to tell you.” Louis let a soft laugh out, and Liam mumbled okay.

They arrive in the front of a luxury house with gold colored big gate, a wide yard with some black sleek cars parked on its side. When the gate opened, they got inside. Louis parked his car along with the other. Liam wore his black sweeter before got out from the car, walking to the house with Louis.

The house was bigger when you closed with it. It had two big mahogany doors as a front door. Three glasses windows in each of it sides. The house itself was Cream colored

Louis knocked at it, he felt so dumb at the moment, maybe he took a wrong direction, but he could swear he was inside this house before, but there was no sound, no people that talking loud like a party should be.

For after several seconds they heard the key of the door being opened and soon the door pulled open. A girl with long blonde curly hair greeted them with her big warm smile that tugged on her soft pink lips. She wore a tight dark blue gown with black heels; she looked awesome, made Liam looked at her for a long moment with his mouth a bit open. She raised her brows before giggling towards Liam and said,

“Hello! Welcome to the homecoming party! You must be Harry’s Louis!” She was looking at Liam.

“What— No, no. It’s him.” Liam pointed at Louis who forcefully smiled at her. She smiled back anyway.

“You right, probably Harry would not tolerated eyes like yours,” she jokingly whispered to Liam from far and added, “for looking at me like before.” She winked to Liam after that, which made Liam, looked down.

She signaled both of them to follow her.

As they passed the front door, two women with uniforms, maybe maids closed it and clicked the key.

It was more luxury inside. The living room totally like Liam’s entire house. There were two stairs in the middle of the room which rounded in left and right sides of the room. In the middle of the room, there was a big glass and transparent pot with so many life flowers inside it and it placed on a big wood table with gold lease. There were so many leather sofas everywhere, placed in a group; three sofas and a glass table for each group. It was more like a place for meeting than a living room. And the last there were so many doors to the other rooms on the other side.

They walked straight from the front door to a corridor under and in the middle of the rounded stairs.

The corridor was dark. Well, not really that dark. There were small neon lamps that plastered on the ceiling, putted some inches away from each other, like in the hospital hallway. The house itself so silent, only the sounds of the girl heels knocked on the floor that filled their ears that moment.

They turned to the left and walked a bit until finally meet another wooden door. The girl pushed it open and the loud instrument music hit them. It was so incredible, the way that room so soundproof, exactly they really were not hearing any music before, but here, now, everything was so loud; people talking, laughing, some of them dancing in the middle, some just sit around on so many sofas that putted along the wall. Louis just stood agape on his position before Liam had to push him a bit so they could get along with the girl. Really no one wanted to get lost in place like this.

They were walking through so many people that wearing really nice outfit, like that adult formal party, which made Louis and Liam felt a bit self-conscious about things they wore. They reach another door which the girl knocked first before she pushed open again. Warm pine smelled air, like in the café, greeted them.

The room smaller than the other that Liam seen tonight, just a small room that fit for like ten people. There were four dark red sofas putted rounded a small table, near one wall sized window that has a view from their backyard, like a big pond, place for doing barbeque, bench and a lot of big trees. Two lamps stand on each corner that turned on, the only light that came from. Beside it, there was a big rack of books. The room was a bit silent, just a small instrument reached it.

“I nearly thought that I couldn’t believe you, but you made it Louis.” Harry walked to them. Smile fondly toward Louis as he patted his shoulder. Louis just smile back but reminded silent after that.

Harry than looked at Liam that stood behind Louis’s back, Liam muttered hello and Harry nodded as a respond, then said to the girl, “Why not you show Liam around, probably someone want to meet him tonight.”

“You mean _Zayn_?”

_Zayn_? He was here too?

She had this pinched looked before said, “I’m not dare to knocked at his door. You know that he is in—I could tell Liam the way to his room, but I can’t promise to accompany him.”

“I thought he brought you to this home to do whatever we asked you to do, Carla.” Harry spoke with a cold tone, but there was still a smile appeared. Then the girl just nodding and grabbed Liam’s arm and walked out from the room.

They were walking passed the door to the party hall, through the corridor, to the living room, and walked upstairs. Again, until they reach the third floor which Liam barely had oxygen inside his lungs, whether the girl still breathing normally?

“That is the door, just get inside. Make yourself comfortable as you want, I’ll be right down there in the party.” She smiled widely, like always, but it somehow calming him.

“Thanks” Liam muttered again, and she turned around before reaching the stairs

“It is okay, Sugar Lips.” She giggling over Liam sudden blushing and walked down.

Liam walked closer to the door, he could only heard his heartbeat, his footsteps, and suddenly he thought if the silent trying killing him slowly.

Liam knocked the door first before pushed it open and got inside with thousand questions queued inside his head, like why that man wanted him until how stupid he was for going to unknown room alone. What if it was not Zayn inside the room, instead old pedophile man?

The room which was a bedroom, was quite big for once again, Liam wasn’t surprised this time. There near a wall sized window was a king sized bed with brown sheets, the floor covered by the carped, racks of the books and things, bedside lamp, and all like normal bedroom, unless this one was his high school classroom sized. He looked to the side where there were a lot of photo frames being hung on the wall. There was a little boy with black hair that combed to one way up, smiled cheekily and a birthday cake in front of him inside it, some were Zayn and Harry in front of their Uni, the other were art pictures like blue skies, a lake and a crowded London city.

“You search for me?” a voice came from the room’s balcony.

Liam walked slowly but sure to the balcony, just nearly tripped because of the carped. He pushed the glass door open just to find Zayn stood with his back rest on the wall, a smoke out from his red lips, white shirt hugged his body perfectly and he stood there already like a role model.

“Come here, Liam.” Zayn said it like a mantra, made Liam helplessly walked to him, like everything in Zayn hypnotized Liam.

Zayn’s hands were around his waist, hugged him from behind. After a moment Liam found himself relaxed under Zayn’s touch and the warmth from him. The view from up there was really beautiful. Liam could see the streetlamps and the cars that running on that street looked like a fireflies, where the sky of the winter night looked clearly black.

He held his breath when he felt Zayn’s lips on the back of his neck, caressing the skin there.

“Do you miss me?” Zayn’s voice got heavy and he hugged Liam a little tighter now. The only thing that made Liam believe it was not a dream.

“…yes” Liam said as he let out his breath that he held before. Liam felt Zayn’s lips on his skin made a simple smile.

“Did you, wait for me to come every morning, in that stupid café?”

It was embarrassing, but yes, he did that.

“Y—yes.”

He felt like being choked with the air that he took when Zayn slowly sucked on the spot where his neck and his shoulder met. Zayn then bite that spot, made Liam squirmed. It was hurt, hurt enough, but Liam like it, really, made his body shifter. The only thing that kept Liam to not fall to the floor was Zayn’s arm that hugged him tighter and tighter every time Liam moved away from him, held him to stay on his position.

Zayn then licked the spot he made before, and blew the air to it. Liam just bit his lower lips to hold his voice, because fuck everything was felt so well and he got more sensitive to every touch that the man gave to him. Zayn just moved an inch from the first spot, he moved his head down to bite the skin there again, sucked it and bit it again, his tongue touched the skin for a while but replaced with his teeth again and he sucked again. Zayn had this sound that die on his throat, made Liam’s feet went weaker and he tilted his head more to the side, to give Zayn more access, which Liam got a groan as a respond.

Zayn kept working with his neck until Liam couldn’t handle it anymore to just stand there without do anything, just a small moans ‘ _Zayn_ ’ left his mouth. Liam then bucked his hips to the back, where he could feel Zayn’s already hard on his ass. Liam did that again, slowly and hard, but now he got a sudden hurt bitted on his neck as a groan came out from Zayn’s lip before him forcefully being turned around to face Zayn that already had this nearly dark eyes and heavy lids.

“No, Liam. Don’t do that again. Don’t” Zayn voice ticker which Liam didn’t understand why he liked to hear he talking again.

Liam just nodded and closed his eyes when he felt Zayn’s thumb caressing his lower lip. It felt warm against his cold lips. Soon the thumbs replaced with Zayn’s lips. The kiss moved slowly, like the beat of Liam’s heart which getting calmer and calmer. He felt the tip of Zayn’s tongue on his lower lip but soon he parted his lips because he felt embarrassed. Zayn groaned at that, he moved his hand down to Liam’s ass and grabbed it through his jeans, which made Liam’s breathe hitched and he opened his mouth, and Zayn’s tongue finally exploring his mouth.

The kiss just going rough and firmly, where Liam got a slap on his ass and Liam moaned inside Zayn’s mouth, where Zayn bit his lower lip a bit rough before kissing him again. But every time Liam tried to touch Zayn, he always had his hand pulled away from Zayn.

Soon after the kiss finally ended, they both stayed in silent. They both like in a contest for who could breathe the air much more from the other. Zayn’s hands still held Liam’s hips, where Liam’s hand curled around Zayn’s neck, as Liam’s head laid on his chest that still moving up and down faster.

“You were probably making a wrong choice to walk to this room, Liam.” Zayn caressing his back through his sweater, made all his back muscle felt so relaxed.

“I’m not regret it—“By that Liam’s hair got tugged, forcing him to look up to Zayn, who looked down to his eyes too.

“You better to keep it. Because once you are inside, there is no way out. Because what was mine, it will always be _mine_.” Liam nodded as he felt his cheek redden. He didn’t understand why he felt so save when he heard Zayn’s words. A hand was caressing his redden cheek now, as a small smile tugged on Zayn’s face, “You’re allowed to being this Liam, just for me.”

“How is this Liam you mean?” Liam now stood straight, not far enough from each other because their warm breath still reaching each other’s face.

“This Liam who looked like mine, felt like mine, and supposed to be mine.” Zayn for once again gave an innocent smile to Liam, but his eyes threw him a shade like a dark; dark night sky.

Liam felt if he was so wrong because now his heart felt like fall to his stomach, because of the afraid.

Liam blinked his fear away, forced himself to smile even his lips felt trembled. No one ever told him something like that, in one way Liam was happy that finally he could taste Zayn’s lips, the thing he could only imagine before, but the other side, he was scared. He felt something wrong from Zayn’s words.

He got lost inside his mind, not realized if Zayn moved closer to him again to kiss him as he let out a surprised sound, made Zayn moved back a little to be able to see Liam, both his brows drawn together.

“I—don’t you have a party down there? What—what is it called? Homecoming party, that’s for you, right? Why are not we going down there?”

Zayn moved until his back met the wall and rested there, his dark eyes still looking at Liam’s curiously as his hand caressing Liam’s cheek, like he didn’t get enough of time to do that before.

“I’m not a fan of that liquid. I prefer the coffee that you made for me—“Zayn’s eyes wondering from Liam’s eyes down to his lips before back to his eyes again, “—plus I’m having more goodtime here.”

Zayn smirked before he moved closer again to Liam, captured their mouth and moved in a slow sync as Zayn’s hand got under Liam’s shirt and ran slowly on his back skin. Liam couldn’t breathe, like Zayn trying to choke him in a pleasure way, made Liam not regretted if the death took him away right that time.

But okay, now he really, really wanted to go out from this room, away from Zayn. Zayn liked this was really someone Liam never imagine he met. Zayn liked this scared Liam the most.

Liam got panicked a bit, he swore something in the air made him scared, because now, right now, he really fucking need to see Louis. Home, he needed to go back to home.

Liam put his hand on Zayn’s chest, pushed him away a bit, which was hard because now Zayn arms around Liam’s waist, hugged him painfully closer and deepen the kiss.

“ _Zayn_ ,”

“Shut up,” Zayn said between their kiss, as he grabbed Liam’s hand that rested on his chest and pinned both behind Liam.

“I need to—see Louis.” Liam titled his head to the other side to break the kiss, made Zayn kissed his cheek instead as Zayn huffed on his ear, probably a bit mad.

Zayn then walked passed Liam without a word, as Liam trying to follow him from behind. Zayn walked so fast and a bit stamped his feet while walking, echoing in the silent room. Zayn was not looking back at Liam, he kept walking and Liam kept following him.

Soon they arrived in the party hall, where a lot of people came toward them to be able to talk to Zayn. Where he saw Zayn got busy trying to answer so many questions, Liam ran away from him through a lot of people that dancing there.

He kept pushing people away until he bumped onto someone,

Lucky him it was Louis.

“Why you are such in hurry, Liam?” Louis a bit panic looked at Liam who still breathing furiously.

“Louis—home—now.” Liam grabbed Louis’ shoulder and looked right in his eyes. Louis looked at him with surprised eyes but then he sighed and nodded. Louis took his phone out from the pocket and typed something.

“Come on,” Louis tugged Liam away until they managed out from the crowd and out from the house without anyone really questioned it.

Once they are inside the car and Liam finally could control his breath, Louis turned to Liam and looked at him sternly,

“Now tell me what was happening, Liam.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you think about it so far? give me a comment yeaah? :')


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Zayn said he was sorry for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, how you guys doing? Hope you have time to read this new chapter :)

Louis watched Liam firmly while Liam’s gaze was still glued at the ceiling of Louis’ car as he tried to control his breathe. Finally Liam said,

“He—he kissed me…”Louis who stiffed on his position before, now rolling his eyes as muttered _come on, Liam_.

“But… _he kissed me_ , Louis.”Liam looked down to his lap.

Louis pressed both his lips as he glanced outside his car before looked back to Liam, “Now Liam look, you dragged me out from that party just because Zayn kissed you? Like, what is that for, Liam? I didn’t see anything wrong there.”Louis sarcastically laughed.

“I don’t know, Lou. He was so different. That time—that time he was so different. I’m afraid at him, Louis. I don’t know what to do, _I don’t know._ ”

“Stupid, I really don’t understand what you’re talking about, Liam.”

Liam looked at Louis disappointed, “Louis, I’m trying to make it clear in here. I felt something unusual about him. Don’t you think it was such a sudden? What was this homecoming party for? Where was he going? Why’d it called homecoming? And why did everybody so old and formal there, talking to Zayn like he worth half of this town? I don’t know how it was for you, Louis, but kissing and sucking at someone’s neck when they were barely known each other were such a taboo.”

Louis shook his head before running his palm on his face, “There! There why you need to grow the fuck up and put down your shield, Liam. There was no such a taboo for things like that in this era. And fuck, what do you think he could do, Liam? Is it—you like him, he likes you, isn’t that clear enough?”

“No, you didn’t get it!”

“No, it was you, Liam.”

“Louis, I never seen him before, and he came suddenly to our café and continued to exist until now. Like, I don’t even know the curly one owned our café—“

Louis was running his hand again on his face, “Liam—Harry is the owner of the café. He interviewed me that time, before you worked there, he always in our café. But he was a busy guy I guess, he started to leave the café often, gave it to be controlled by Mr. Jacob.”

“I thought you didn’t know him because you looked at him like you never seen a human before, that day!”Liam now raised his hand as Louis turned the car, and started driving away from that house.

Louis glanced at Liam who still waited for Louis’ answer patiently with his lower lip pouted. Louis sighed tiredly.

“I tended to have an issue for him, Liam.”

“Issue like what?”

“I— damn, I have a crush on him, Liam, for so fucking long time. I mean, of course I kept it before, I thought he never paid any attention to me, but he did. Until that time we were drunk—“

Liam cut him, “It was you and Jennifer”

Louis hissed before continued talking, “Yeah, yeah Liam. I woke up in his room, and yeah, we—we slept together. I swear we were just sleeping, Liam, stop looking so dramatically at me!—and he confessed his feeling, and all now we are together.” Louis grinned as he parked the car in front of Late Dine, a small cafe which still opened.

Liam looked around, “What are we doing here?”

Louis still smiling, “We need relaxed, and you owed me more explanation.”

 

They walked inside the café, and sat in table number 12.

“I want hot Cappuccino and fried fries.”Liam said just before Louis walked to the counter, Louis nodded.

There were like two couples sat near the front door, five single peoples that sat separating from each other. Liam a bit surprised at that. This town really allowed café to open twenty four hours, because Liam’s town probably not. It was because the criminality and murder cases that kept increasing each month, as the new rule like don’t go out from home started at 10 p.m. for your own safety being applied by the officers. It was 1.20 a.m. and they’re still inside the café.

Soon Louis back with a tray filled with two cups of Cappuccino and fried fries.

“Now let’s continue talking.” Louis said as he chewing his food.

Liam sipped his drink, “I still have a question for you. If you knew Harry, what was about Zayn?”

“I don’t know about that man.” Louis answered fast before sipped his drink and laid his back on his seat, “Probably he is new, maybe Harry’s family from another country that stay here for a moment?”

Liam sighed and looked down at his cup. He liked Zayn, sure. But something was different with that man. Sometimes he was nice, next time he was cocky. Today he was warm, the next day he was colder than the weather.

“Do you think he likes me too?”

“If you mean he wants to fuck you against the counter in the café every time he ordered his drink, it’s a yes.”

Now Liam the one who chocked the fried fries as Louis filled the silent inside the café with his hilarious chuckle.

~~~

Today the weather was not too bright like always, the sky looked all grey as the snow fell a little heavier in the town. There were barely people outside their home, walking on the street with thick sweater or something that looked like a rain coat, but it shamed for Louis and Liam and other workers, they had to be working today. Which ended up like Louis being grumpy that time they arrived there, Liam was in his good mood—because he liked snow for the hell of it, and their manager finally gave some free hot chocolate for each of them to avoid something bad happened like they all burned him to the death.

Liam was cleaning all tables, like the morning routine they always did after flipping the closed sign which hung down on the door with ‘open’ sign. Louis was mobbing the floor near the front door, where Jennifer busy with putting down some money for changing inside the cashier machine. There, one by one people finally came.

The sound people chattering or mumbling something started to fill the inside of the café, as a squeaky boots sounded walking to the counter filled between them.

Liam was talking to a mother with her daughter, who kept apologized to Liam because her daughter splashed her hot cocoa all over their table, the one Liam cleaned before, because Liam such a sweetheart with lovely eyes, she said, that she really didn’t want to make himself tired, and Liam just said it’s okay because that was he paid for with a big grin plastered on his face.

When the atmosphere inside the café got busier hugging the cold air so they would felt warm instead, Harry and Zayn entered the café, which for Liam was a reason why he felt like his working uniform being burned that time his eyes recognized the tanned and Zayn’s slim posture from far before they pushed the door opened.

Liam’s throat felt so dry and hurt, it’s not because of Zayn who always wore a thin shirt in this damn cold weather, which gave Liam the best view of Zayn’s sharp shoulders and his collar bones, it’s not because of that, instead it was because of the girl from last night in the party who kept hugging Zayn’s arm as they walking to the empty table on Harry’s usual spot, near a wall sized window. Liam was just able to bit his lip down, to hold his hurt.

Liam found himself walked back to the behind of the counter as he avoided Louis eyes who tried to calming him down. Was it? So everything was going to end up like this? Was Liam so easy to replace just because Liam pushed Zayn away last night? Or was she Zayn’s real girlfriend, and used Liam just for a distraction that night? And Liam knew all of that was happened just because he was too dumb for thinking guy like Zayn like a guy too, of course face like Zayn was the face of the straightest people in this earth.

Why Zayn should liked a guy when he could get any type of girls he wanted with just a simple stare he gave to them.

Or exactly like, why Zayn should like Liam, where he could take anybody he wanted. It’s like nobody in this small town could resist him by the way.

_He was so perfect, god, or it just in the inside of Liam’s head?_

“Sweet Lips!!” Liam got surprise from a sudden cheery giggle from his back. Liam turned around instead.

He met with a pair of dark golden eyes that flashed a hurt for a second Liam caught them but turned cold as he blinked it down, where the other pairs was warm and light blue eyes.

“We want to order!”Once again the curly haired girl shouted happily toward Liam like Liam was too dumb to hear anybody in that room, with her hand still curled with Zayn’s

“I’m busy right now, I’m sorry.” Liam looked from his back, “Jen! Help me out here yeah? I have to pack something.” As that Liam turned around so his back faced them.

“Liam,” A soft but stern voice caught Liam’s attention, made him stopped moving for a while.

God, did Zayn just called him? Or it was just his ears being an asshole to Liam?

Liam squeezed his eyes closed a moment before started to take a pack of coffee beans out from the box.

“Liam… is it because of last night?” now demanded and challenging tone filled Zayn’s voice. Liam turned around instantly to face Zayn. He even didn’t know why he got to be this brave now.

“Last night? There was nothing about last night!”Liam’s hand raised and moved like he tried to slap the air as the words came as a spat toward Zayn. Now everything was silent there, all eyes watching them curiously, where Zayn still remind in calm, eyes never left Liam’s.

_What the fuck was wrong with you, Liam. Now you’re the one who created a drama._

Now Liam’s head felt like spinning with confuse and surprise, anger and embarrassed. Liam muttered sorry before ran to the back door of the café, near the toilet corridor.

Liam pushed the door open. The extremely cold but chilly air hit his face and felt like freezing his lungs in a moment. His breath was a chaos, his hot breathe created a smoke in cold air. He wanted to cry, he hated this man so much. It’s like only Zayn who allowed to angry, to deserved an apologized, but when Liam acted like that, Zayn always the one who acted like a holy angel. Zayn always made everything looked like Liam’s fault.

Liam’s hugged his body with both his hands _. Stupid uniform_ , he thought.

As that he heard the door cracked open. Liam thought it was Louis.

But it was Zayn, with his musky sweet perfume mixed with an apple scent and a bit smelled like smoke lingered around Liam. Probably he was some inches away behind Liam.

“ _I’m sorry._ ” Zayn muttered as his hand moved to hold Liam’s arm.

“You—you _scared_ me.”Liam sniffed softly, but his body not moved away when Zayn turned him around to face Zayn.

“I told you I’m sorry, Liam.” Zayn had both his hand around Liam’s waist, pulled him closer as Zayn walked Liam backward until his back hit the wall.

Zayn now looked down at Liam, who fought with his own emotion. Zayn moved Liam’s curly hair away from his eyes, looked at Liam with concern eyes which Liam found a peace in there.

“I didn’t mean it, last night, I like it, Zayn. But, I’m—I’m scared of it—“Liam chose to stop talking because he couldn’t think anymore when Zayn kissed the purple marks on Liam’s neck he left last night. Zayn’s nose ran from the marks, up along a spine that appeared on Liam’s neck until reaching his ear, spoke in hush tone, “I didn’t mean to scare you Liam. I just missed you too much. Everything I did last night, told me it wasn’t enough, force me to do more, and more. It felt like I will not be able to see you again the next day, like you’ll be missing from my life-“

Zayn planted a small kiss behind Liam’s ear and said again, “Please tell me, you’re going to stay with me…”

“I will…” Liam’s voice now sounded weak.

Zayn moved his head to kiss Liam’s forehead and ran his thumb along Liam’s lower lip, “You’re cold.”

Zayn kissed the side of Liam’s mouth before captured his face with both his hand and kissed Liam’s lips properly. Their lips moved slowly, like both of them tried to remember each other taste.

“Zayn?”Liam said as their lips still moving in open kisses.

“Hmm?”

“Is it mean I’m still yours?” as that Zayn groaned to Liam’s mouth and pulled away.

“I thought you’re not into things like that?” Liam just pulled the front of Zayn’s shirt to kiss him again as he ran his fingers in Zayn long and messy hair, he tugged at them a bit hard, made Zayn moaned breathlessly,

“Liam,”

“…answer me, Zayn.” Zayn pulled away to look Liam in the eyes a while and kissed him again firmly and said between the kiss,

“Yeah, you’re mine, Liam, always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think about romantic zayn? hehe give a comment or kudos yeah? love ya! x


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Zayn declared his love for Liam, but then Liam felt if he soon going to loose Zayn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> I realize it was nearly a month i didn't post anything. I really sorry because I never imagine if i got so many problems to solve and writing this story is my only escape at the moment, surely i want to finish this story but it just sometimes i don't have an idea how this going to be. but I promise you I will make it up. I will try update as regular as I can. anyway enjoy this one, love.

They both, Liam and Zayn walked back to the inside of the café, with their hands were holding each other. They were still all giggling until Zayn was turned a bit stiff in his position when he found out there were two officers sat with Harry who now waving his hand toward Zayn, signaling him to come to them. Zayn looked to Liam, who still stood in his side with questioned eyes. Zayn moved his head to kiss Liam’s forehead and watched how Liam's eyes closed slowly as the blood looked like boiled inside Liam’s cheeks before whispering to him,

“I’ll wait there until your shift finish, yeah?”

Liam giggly nodded before gave a light kiss to Zayn’s cheek and ran to the kitchen before Zayn could process what was happening to his right cheek where he could felt warm and wet there. Zayn then walked to their table, tried to study each of the officers' face in a second before he gave him a small smile.

“Good morning, Officers.” Zayn gave his hand hesitantly toward them, both the officers stood from their chairs to shaking Zayn’s hand. One of them signed Zayn to sit and Zayn simply nodded and took an empty chair next to Harry, in front of the two officers.

“I had a call from one of my man this morning. I think both of you gentlemen were not aware anymore about Mr. Moure murder case, which was happening like three days ago in his home, in Snow Town resident.”

“It’s like four or five hours away from here, by a car. His news was all over every newspaper this morning” Harry had a concerted expression now, and the officer nodded.

“Yes, Mr. Style. There were like twenty of my men who clearing the area that night, so one of my men told me he saw the car plat number license under the name of Zayn Malik, was being parked outside one of the closest motel to the victim’s house. The motel owner said the owner of the car was checked in at the hotel in the afternoon, at 6 p.m., from some of the collected evident on the victim’s body found out that the killing happened between 9. 30 and 10 p.m., like three and half an hour after Mr. Malik arrived. We were doing a research last night and finally stopped with his identity along with yours, Mr. Styles.”

Both Zayn and Harry nodding as Harry said, “You had known my family for a long time, Officer Lucas.”

The officer chuckled as he took out a small note book from his pocket with a pen too, “You can trust me, Mr. Styles, your family is the hope for this small town, but please, I’m just doing my job in here sir, and I hope you’re not in a rush Mr. Malik?”

“Not even close to it, officer.” Zayn smiled and the officer nodded again, he flips the paper inside the note book until reaching the empty page. Now both the officers focused their eyes on Zayn.

“Your formal name is?”

“Zayn Malik.”

“Where are you from?”

“Bradford.”

The officer stopped writing to look at Zayn, a bit surprised, “what was from this small town that interested you?”

“Probably Harry.” As that Harry slapped the back of his head and muttered apologize to the officers, who laughed dryly at that.

“I was born in there, but I moved with aunt Anne since my parents passed away. You probably had a record of that, right?”The officer who writing something on the book looked to his side, to another officer who searching something inside the briefcase, he flipped some pages and nodded after that.

“2001. Yes, we still have that. Ready to explain why you were in Snow Town Resident?”

“I own the furniture Company and Art Gallery downtown. I already received some letters from my visitors. They wanted my gallery to be moved to another strategic place, and I think Snow Town Resident is perfect, because it close to the traditional market and international schools, foreign people will easily find my gallery. I sent the applicant letter to renovate one of the buildings there to your men’s office, like couple days ago, probably still on your table, under some stacks of another papers? I didn’t get a call since then, so I came to check the place instead.”

Both the officers were stumbling while reading some papers which now messy spreading on the table, to make sure. Soon they both were nodding again, “Yes. It named Malik’s Gallery, since 2012. How could I forgot it, my daughter is one of your admirer.” Lucas collected the papers and putted it back inside the briefcase with a smile tugged on his lips, “and about your applicant letter, we’re so sorry about that Mr. Malik, we’re going to confirm that soon.”

“Thank you, officer.” As that the four of them stood from their chair to shake hands again.

“We’re going to renew your information soon. We will call you if we need another and Mr. Harry? Please I hope you understand about my position here, don’t be near the crime scene again, this is the second time, both of you two cars seen there. I’m afraid I can’t believe you again next time.”

“How could we know if the crime scene is going to be near us?” The three men’s attention turned to Zayn, who seemingly fine in his position.

“That’s it. I’m the one who going to ask that question to you if next time we find you again near the crime place, Mr. Malik, _how come the crime scenes are always around you,_ that’s the right question.” Zayn just nodded at that like the innocent man he was.

They walked the officers to the front door. Lucas turned around again to look at Zayn, “You’re truly cleverer than what you shown to us. And oh my daughter name is Catharina. Just to let you know.” Lucas patted Zayn’s shoulder as Zayn laughed with it.

“It’s honored for me to know your daughter, officer, I would want to, but I’m kind like taken now.” Zayn’s eyes flicked to Liam’s direction who served some teenagers with goofily smile before back to the officer, who smiled sheepishly now.

“Oh yeah, Liam Payne, who in this small town isn’t fall for him. He is our head inspector’s son, Mr. James Payne, but he moved to Mississippi two months ago, probably on his holiday now because I met him in the supermarket yesterday. Have a good luck for getting that one, Zayn.”

“Thanks.” Zayn, for once again still trying to smile, even deep down he breathed worriedly.

The two officers got inside the police car and drove away; Zayn and Harry watched them until they turned right on the crossed street.

“You’re bloody brilliant, Zayn.” Harry nudged him.

“I told you, I already planned everything tidy since a long time ago.”

They both walked back to their table as another two cups of warm coffee being served for them again.

 

~~~

 

Liam looked to Zayn’s table from a small window on the wall which separated a room behind a counter and the kitchen. Zayn was still sitting there, reading a small but thick book with grey cover. Liam smiled fondly at that, never been in his life time he thought he would make Zayn waited for him, like they were that romantic couple in the movie. If Liam able to feel this moment for the rest of his life, this could be so amazing.

“Liam, come on. I’m tired.” Louis pleaded all along the way he pushed the kitchen’s door open, where Liam stumbling following him from behind.

“So, are you going back to home with him?” Louis whispered to Liam as they walked to Zayn and Harry’s table. There, Zayn already closed his book and looked to Liam’s direction with that smug smile genially tugged on his lips.

“Yes?”

“You sounded too sure now.” Louis walked passed their table and said, “Come on, Harry. I’m tired.” Harry raised his brows at that as he stood up to follow him.

“You’re lucky I love you.” Harry muttered with a huff as he walked away.

Zayn stood up, raised his hand for Liam to hold as they walked out from the café.

“Are you tired waiting for me?” Liam hugged Zayn’s arm while walking, Zayn thumbed his cheek before laughing.

“No, I’m having a good time looking at my boyfriend working, such a good thing spending my afternoon.”

“So now we are ‘something’?”

“Aren’t we?” and Liam nodded so fast at that like he was afraid Zayn's words will disappear in the next second.

Once they’re inside the car, the first thing Zayn did was pushed Liam to his seat and kissed him firmly, Zayn’s hand slipped under Liam’s work shirt and his sweater, ran up and down on the smooth skin there, Liam tugged Zayn’s lower lip because of that before deepen the kisses. They both breathe in furious way as each other tried to do what they wanted to do for so long. Liam tugged Zayn’s hair before pushed him to his seat again, so Liam would be able to sit at his lap, but before he could do that Zayn pushed him back to his seat as he said between the kiss,

“god, Liam. Stay on your seat, yeah? You’re heavy.”

Liam broke the kiss to pout his red messy lower lip, “You’re heavier than me if I could be honest but I never complained about it…”

“Aw really?” Zayn teased and sat back on his seat properly as he smirked and gave kisses on Liam’s nose twice, both his eyelashes, his forehead and ended on his chin, which Liam thought it would be his lips before, left him closed both his eyes and waiting desperately for Zayn’s lips on his, with his mouth hang open still, but no, and it made him pouted more. Zayn just fondly smiled as he drove the car on the sloppy and muddy road. Zayn glanced to his side just to find Liam still pouting, hands folded in front of his chest.

“Do you plan to go home early tonight, baby?” Zayn spoke up with a soft and tender voice as he rubbed Liam’s cheek with his left hand, which made Liam, gave up after that and answered him.

Liam glanced at the clock on the car’s dashboard, “Not right away, why?” Liam took Zayn’s hand, which on his cheek before, and held it between his hands.

“Want to show you something, is it okay?”

“Sure!” Liam answered fast which made Zayn chuckled a bit. Would never been as happiest as this time before.

The trip to a place which Zayn before really take a long time for Liam.  They passed a small village area and turned into the forest by following the river flow at their right side and thick pine forests surrounding them.  On the way Liam saw how the snowy ground turned into a dark and wet ground and then the scent of cold snow turned into wet refreshing pine scent, leaving the rest of the dew on their car windows.  Liam and Zayn did not talk much on the way, just a music instrument playing inside the car, became their soft background music while their thoughts were in their own imagination.  Liam just looked briefly towards Zayn, how the blue sky looked bright outside, how the big leaves looked wet and so green because of the dews and Zayn still looks more beautiful than all of those things with a small smile on his face and his gold excited eyes which filled with millions of surprises that he had prepared for Liam to find out, got focus on the road , and it's all clearly illustrated there, and Liam was ready to continue to be there, find that out one by one. 

Zayn could feel it if he was being watched now, made he looked to aside with a smile that one of the corners of his mouth attracted upwards, as if he knew he managed to make Liam happy now.

“What, babe?” his eyes look briefly toward Liam and back to the road, his thumb caressing Liam's cheek, made the skin grew redder there.

“I don’t know, Zayn. Are we still far from that place? I’m kind like tired.” Liam faked his yawn.

“Oh, you are? But I don’t think if your body is, because they are still amazingly able to pump all blood to your cheeks, babe. It kinds like tickle me up, _want to kiss you for the rest of our trip, baby_.”

Liam sure if his cheeks were redder than before that time Zayn’s smirk was matching with his devilish eyes now. All he needed was stay silent, Liam thought. Fuck his skin.

Remember when it was all pine trees with big leaves and wide rivers which their sound put you in the edge of your fantasy? Now all of them changed into big, big, wheat fields, which you could see from far that clear blue evening sky and like you could point where was the edge of that field which seemed like touching the blue sky in a straight line. Liam didn’t remember when it was exactly when the forest was over and changed into the wide enamor fields. But when his sleep was kicked out, all he could see were the sun in the end of the straight road they were in, birds that flow visibly in the blue, yellow, and little green sky and all bright brown wheat that covered the wide lands on the right and left sides.

All Liam could still remember was his city is covered by white snow blanket but here, here you could feel the sun warmly touch your skin and how the evening wind started to kick in the atmosphere inside the car.

“Are we arriving now?” Liam said sleepily as he rubs his sleep from his eyes.

“Yes… just hold on for a minute. I’m trying to find the perfect spot.”

Zayn’s eyes flicked to the rearview mirror and back to the street as he drove the car to the side of the road and slower it down until he finally kicked the brake pedal and turned the car’s machine down.

“We are arriving. _Home_ , it is.”

There was a light on Zayn’s voice, like a hope in Sunday morning and the dream between the night sky and stars’ light. Zayn didn’t need to call this place a home, because for Liam, everywhere where Liam could stare into Zayn’s eyes, there is the home like it should be.

Liam rolled down the window, the smell of roasted grass and wet roots hit his face, sent warm sparkles down his throat to his stomach and drew a joy inside his eyes. Zayn poked Liam’s chin as unknown feeling flashed inside his eyes and he pushed open the car door, Liam followed him. Liam stood in the middle of the long road which seemed didn’t have an end, where all wheat around them, everywhere, like they were touching the horizon too. Liam looked up to the nearly evening sky, it so wide and close to you, like you could touch the cloud when you raise your hand up. Zayn was right, this was feeling like home, because Liam felt so wild and easy and free and happy like how his should be. Should be…

Zayn just stood there with his back against the car’s door, hand curled in front of his chest where his black shirt looked loosen now. Zayn just looked at Liam like that parent when watching his kid playing on the park; happy and proud he was.

Soon Zayn moved from the car and walked passed it, gave a hand to Liam to hold, “Are you coming with me?”

Liam nodded as he caught Zayn’s hand with both his palms held it. They walked slowly, got to the inside of the wheat field. They were walking like this; hand in hand, foolish smile appeared sweetly on their faces, hair messed here and there, cheek flushed, and Zayn always there for Liam every time the grass tied his feet and made Liam tripped, Zayn always there to help him up. Well laughing at Liam first until Zayn’s head tipped to back and his stomach felt stiffened as he kept saying how stupid Liam was and ‘don’t you see your face, baby? Nothing is cuter than that when you fall!’ and after a long time pouty Liam’s was on, Zayn was ready to help him up with his hands securely held him up on Liam’s waist, as Zayn’s lips gazing Liam’s ear, ‘I got you, babe.’

Liam just chuckling at him, even Zayn’s words always shiver him down, put him on the edge of his life, because all of this seemed not real, even yes, Liam didn’t want anybody to wake him up.

Liam’s arms was around Zayn’s neck as his head was lying flatly on Zayn’s chest where Zayn’s arms was around Liam’s waist and face buried inside Liam’s wild curly hair.

They stayed like that; hugged each other, where Liam listen to Zayn’s wild heartbeat, which listen to that could pull Liam to sleep. Around them was the universe that listens to their sound of blood rushing from their heads to the toes, let the wind made the wheat dancing together and let out the gushy sounds which filled their ears. they were among the sound from crickets and their own heartbeats. Zayn separated their body just so he could see Liam straightly. Liam was looking back to the gold and tenderly eyes which felt like a gate of bright heaven which called Liam in to discover the mystique of Zayn’s soul.

“I think I didn’t make it clearly this afternoon, Liam.”

“What is that, Zayn?”

“If maybe, is there any possibility for me to have you in my life.” Zayn’s voice was silent, but it was echoing inside Liam’s head.

“There is, Zayn.”

“I can’t promise you the happiness you search in life, Liam. But I can make you see, how happiness works between us. How, even just your silhouette inside my dream is always giving me a hope for tomorrow. I don’t know but you kind like make it, yeah? Hope and love, yeah _love_.”

“We just barely meet each other, isn’t it too fast to be love?”

“Do you think like that?”

“You think?”

“I think, what is it called when you meet someone but you just want to keep him, well as your own, this time not let them slip away from you, just… being with him whenever you want. It’s like finally you have someone to share your little appreciation of the world with them. What do you think, Liam?”

Now Zayn’s lips was hovering Liam’s, his arms tightly and securely around Liam’s waist. Liam could felt his minty breath warming him up as both of the men closes their eyes, like trying to think how to steal each other breath.

“I—can’t think.” Liam was chuckling lowly, but soon changed to breathy laugh as Zayn stole a small wet kiss on his Lips, pull back as fast as Liam wanted it back.

“Liam,”

“Well, if you’re into that boyfriend’s thing, you could be mine, Zayn.”

Zayn didn’t let the single word to respond it; he just let his own lips crashed with Liam’s in fantastic and heated way. He kissed like he tries to act if there was no tomorrow, Liam’s lower lips tucked between his teeth and both of them laughing, changed the kiss into mess, but soon found a sweet rhythm again.

They kissed like they tried to kill each other. They kissed like they wanted to keep each other as a secret, not wanting the world to steal it the next morning the wake up.

They were lying on the roof of Zayn’s car now; Zayn’s left arms under his head and as Liam’s pillow, where his face buried on Zayn’s crook. Zayn just simply looked to the now yellowish sky, wondering how sadness could seem hiding away, when this boy was in his arm. They both laid down there where the sun finally wanted to settle down.

“Will I see you again tomorrow?”

Zayn paused for a moment before humming something which sounded a bit unsure and blur inside Liam’s head, or maybe his brain knew it was too hurt to be listened. Liam didn’t get it but he was too afraid to ask it again.

Liam knew Zayn not even for like three months but he wanted Zayn more than that, which Liam knew too, if, Zayn now and he, had something real to call as a relationship. But there was something Liam wanted to know, that corner of his heart still not sure if he had Zayn now. Like, what would Zayn said if someone asked who was Liam when Liam was not around? Would Zayn said if Liam was his boyfriend or maybe ‘he just another same boy I meet in a small café. A boy who will not staying long in my life.’

But Liam tried to bury that thought down, so down until he couldn’t think about that anymore, until his lips still able to say few words he dying to hear from Zayn.

“I love you, Zayn.” Liam said lowly, too scared if his voice will came out as a shaking voice as he felt a single tear fell down his cheek to the car’s roof.

But Zayn was still stay like—Zayn, who simply turn his face to Liam, with a small smile for Liam but his eyes told him thousand different stories as he said, “ _I can see it.”_

Maybe that was it, like a love sky had for the ground; it could only crying so the ground could touch it tears, kiss them to make sure sky now if ground will always there even the universe never let them meet. Maybe you had to love someone firstly, just because. Even you would not feel the love back to you. Although in the end of the day, you would only became that person who would be able to say, yeah I love him first than anybody who going to take my place later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how about this chapter? you guys like it? comment yeah? :)


	10. Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That time Zayn was missing and Liam couldn't do anything about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here was the next chapter, yeah. I really surprise i could post it today like what I'm trying to do.So enjoy this!! :)

It was three hours trip they need to take to make them back to their lovely little town—well its Liam’s town, because Zayn’s still half an hour more until he arrived on his. Liam was already passed away on his perfectly dreamland but it was until Zayn stopped his car right in front of Liam’s house and pulled the engine off, Liam was wide awake, surprisingly. That time Zayn was laying his back on his seat and moving his keys until made a tickling sound when Liam unlocked his seatbelt fast. Zayn wasn’t aware at anything strange until Liam’s heavy weight was on his lap, sloppy wet lips on his neck, attacking Zayn with fireworks of lust which run straight down to Zayn’s pants.

“Liam, you have to get inside.” Zayn said throaty.

Liam was sitting on Zayn’s lap properly than before; his hands were grabbing Zayn’s back hair and the other on the back of his neck. Zayn kissing him sloppily, let an amused soft grunt out every second their tongue met but Liam gave up easily for Zayn, let Zayn’s traveled around his mouth, suck the air inside his lungs.

Zayn’s hands moved down from holding Liam on his waist down to his ass, he squeezed them through Liam’s tight jeans, which made Liam choked a moment and moan desperately to Zayn’s mouth who smirked now.

“You mean—get— inside you?” and now Zayn who moaned frustrated and bitted along Liam’s jaw as he bucked his hip upward, touch the invisible bulge on Liam’s pants, earned another moan from the younger boy.

“You’ll never get inside me, Liam. And fuck—its house, Liam. I mean get inside your house. It will late—night—soon.” Liam bites playfully down Zayn’s neck as their hips still moving together.

“I—don’t want. Too much clothes, too much talking, too—oh god…” Zayn pushed Liam to the back, his back hitting the wheeling stir and Zayn’s lips already creating a spot on his collar bone.

Soon Zayn’s phone vibrating on the car’s dashboard, made a lot buzzed sounds, made the two of them jumped separately from each other, leave them sat there, Liam still on Zayn’s lap but his back stick to the wheeling stir where Zayn’s back flat on his seat. Both of them were still looking at each other with both their chest moving up and down furiously. Zayn glanced to where his phone laying and still buzzing for the second call now through his heavy eyelids, his hair messy toward so many directions where his lips red and puffy.

Zayn took it and looks to it where the caller’s name appeared there. It was Anne.

Zayn run his fingers along his hair frustrated and looked at Liam who the lower lip tugged between his teeth apologized. Like he knew exactly he shouldn’t do that to Zayn earlier.

“Sorry to keep you—“Liam was quavering but Zayn cut him soon.

“No. Its okay, Liam. Are you ready to get inside home now?”

Liam moves away from Zayn’s lap back to his seat, both the boys hissed at how tight their pants now, made it hurt even to move a bit.

“I’m sorry.” Liam pointed at Zayn’s pants and a small smile tugged there on Liam’s face which Zayn not even mind to look at to know how visible it now in his pants.

“I’ll take care of it later.” Zayn smiled weakly as Liam moan a bit at that.

Liam walked out from the car and stop again near Zayn’s door where the window already rolled down.

“Good night, Zayn.”

“Good night baby.” Liam gave a last peck to Zayn’s forehead before Zayn pulled away from Liam’s house.

 

~~~

The next day wasn’t a day Liam expecting to happen. Liam didn’t meet Zayn for the whole day. Liam even sent a lot text to Zayn’s number,

Liam: Zaynie, where are you?? X

Liam: you will come to café today, right babe? I made some cakes for you x

Liam: u busy babe?

Liam: where are you?

Liam: Zayn

Liam: ???

But he didn’t get a text back or a call _yet_ , yeah not yet...

Unluckily Liam had two shifts today, which filled with Liam pouting for the rest f his shift. Not even Louis and Harry could do something about that, like they even had a chance to try. Because that time Louis tried to talk to Liam, Liam ended up shouting at Louis and glared at Louis until he raised both his hands and walked back to kitchen.

It was that normal night hour; the snowy wind crept inside the warm café every time someone opened the front door, gave a chilling feeling to Liam’s body, even vanishing after a moment, people softly laughter voice as the background of Liam’s mind, despite some classic rock music played randomly there too. Liam just looked down the counter, pull out his phone, when he sure nobody was watching him, to make sure if there is a text or a missed call, he hopes so, but there was nothing, as Liam rubbed his forehead and to his hair and let a heavy breath out. The rain inside his eyes was begging to be letting out, the weight of his heart need to be vanishing.

“Good evening.”

Liam blinked his eyes for making sure there was no tears will fall, and looked up from the counter table. There just stood— Niall, Louis’ classmate, that random pale boy with bright blonde hair which combed in nice and elegant quiff, nice jumper and fantastic rich bubblegum smelled radiating around him. He smiled cheekily at Liam who hardly tries to give him the same smile. Because if Liam was in good mood right now, he would probably blushing hard, and said thanks for the universe that arrange this sweet perfect time to make Liam met this boy. To be honest, Niall was everything Liam saw in his campus that couldn’t make Liam blinked his eyes. Used to be his favorite face—but now Zayn’s face was everything at the top, Liam didn’t know how beauty and perfection could collapse into one person’s face.

But now, really, Liam wasn’t in the mood for opening the previous pages of his life to make sure his crush for this boy still there.

“Welcome to Amore café, my name is Liam, can I help you with your order.”

Liam knew this guy was familiar with him, but why not, so he was clear if the boy who served him his drink tonight named Liam.

“I would like—“He runs his tongue along his upper teeth as he reading the menu lists above Liam’s head, “a cup of black coffee with tiramisu cheese cakes.”

“Okay, wait a moment.”

Niall gave a single tab on the counter to get Liam’s attention again before said, “Could you please take that to my table later, I need to sort something on my phone.” He shook his phone to catch Liam’s attention, again, and Liam nodded at that.

After a moment Liam got busy making the boy’s order up on the tray, he moved around the counter and pulled up the tray along with him as his gaze roaming the tables and found that boy’s bright hair. Liam walked toward his table.

“Here are your orders. Just that?”

“It’s okay, um Liam, isn’t it?”

Yes, babe, or could call me whatever you want. Instead of saying that Liam was just murmured, “Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll call you if I want to order again.”

“Enjoy your drink.”

He muttered thanks as Liam turned around to walk back to the behind the counter.

It was a kind of blurry when everything walked pass the atmosphere around Liam. When the clock on his wrist let a small tick, the bell on the door kept ringing every time someone opened it, for coming or leaving. Liam was just drowning inside his mind. It wasn’t the first time Zayn did it; left Liam alone waiting for him without news out from him, or the first time was happen outside Zayn’s expectation. It wasn’t the first time Liam left behind like an old toy he was, but he never say any word because Liam knew, it wasn’t necessary even for Zayn. What was Liam expected from a guy like Zayn? Running everyday to the café just to say good morning with a simple kiss on the top of Liam’s head? Or picking Liam up for work, opening every door for Liam like the gentleman Liam watched in the movie? Or just being than kind of man who do the text or call every moment just to make sure Liam was okay or maybe missed him? Zayn wasn’t that type of man, Liam thought. Or maybe because it was Liam, so he acted different.

Because it was wrong, if Liam was in Zayn’s position, Liam would do any single thing just for hearing a word slipped from that red sweet and most tenderly lips Liam ever landed his lips on.

But what Liam could do now? It wasn’t like Liam isn’t trying anything to get to know where was Zayn, but it just Zayn, it always Zayn but Liam couldn’t blame him. Liam already so lucky Zayn even want to encircle his arms around Liam, even that I love you words never said out loud from Zayn, not yet, yeah, not yet.

“Excuse me?” there was an amused inside Niall’s tone.

“Yes?” Liam turned around to face the man earlier; the bright skin and bright blonde hair in a messy quiff, he smiled with his dark blue eyes looked focus more than before. Niall’s mood was truly an opposite with Liam’s, how could this guy be so bright.

“I think to order something to bring to home,—did I bother you?” He was chuckling but there wasn’t mock tone inside it, made Liam to rethink again, did he want to order the food to bring to home or its Liam he meant.

“You’re not in the right to ask if you bothered me or not. I’m working in here so, you can do whatever you want to me—I—I mean order, I can do whatever your order… its food, yeah. Still about food.”

Liam run his wet palms on his jeans as the guy freely laughing, made him looked younger than Liam, despite he was two classes above Liam.

“It’s Alright. I want that cheese cake—the one I ordered before, you remember? Three slices, wrap it up to go, please.”

Liam nodded and moved to the racks for cakes, took the cakes and put it inside the bag. He turned to the man again, placed the bag on the counter and took the money that man already placed on the counter before. The man took the bag with him, scratched the back of his neck before said,

“I’m Niall. If only you are wondering for a name to call next time.”

Liam didn’t really need his name, because Liam remembered how he begged Louis that night to tell Liam who was that guy’s name who always sits next to Louis in his class, and Louis ended up telling Liam his name, but mocking him for the rest of Liam’s first semester.

But who didn’t need a proper introducing if Liam had a chance to?

Liam blushed away the comment, “Sure. Niall, it’s nice to meet you.”

 

~~~

“Zayn?” there was a voice called for him from the corner of his motel room, which already being opened a bit to let the girl peeked from there. Zayn was sitting on the seat on the balcony of his room, a smoke tucked between his lips, it was already the second packs of the cigarette he smoked, where the other finished cigarettes laid down on the floor along with their dusts. Zayn brought his feet up to the table in front of him, his eyes gazing through the black and blue night sky, where there was a small amount from the stars’ light.

“Zayn, I’m going to have a dinner on the restaurant, you come?” the girl already laid her back on the wall next to the glassy door which divided the balcony and the bedroom.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not eating something since last night, Zayn. Are you sure? You don’t want me to buy something for you?”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay. Oh yeah your phone kept ringing on the table, have you checked it?”

Zayn didn’t need to look at his phone to know who that was, and right now it wasn’t the best time to remember anything about Liam. Because, fuck, how could Zayn get concentrated of his murderous plans if Liam begged with his low whining voice, which out from that red lips Zayn’s dying to taste every day, for Zayn to come to the café tomorrow. And because he hated Liam for making him denied his jobs over him.

Who Liam thought he was? Because Zayn knew, Liam just another guy who would moved away as soon as he know what Zayn did for his life, because these were more important than a light in those brown cocoa eyes, because finding Zayn’s mom was more important than writing a simple romantic novel with a guy Zayn could kill anything to have him before.

Because, no. Liam wasn’t important and Zayn should have known it if he was that genius for his life.

Which, it was not true, because Zayn was the damn fool for Liam.

There was a sound of closed door a moment ago, maybe the girl just left him even Zayn wasn’t answer her question yet, like she deserved it anyway. Zayn was now stood from his seat and walked back inside his room with a new cigarette between his swollen lips, not because of the kiss but because an anxious feeling Zayn had every time his phone vibrating, so he just bit his lip to gain his sanity for not answering Liam’s call, not yet.

Zayn turned on the TV and walked back to his bed, laying there as he puffed a smoke out.

It was midnight news which he watched right now. So apparently they already found out the men Zayn killed like eight hours ago. Because the house Zayn was in before are now full of police’s lines here and there. The news anchor was talking, saying all nonsense things which Zayn thought was, nonsense of course. He said if the killer must be killers, more than one person, because how could someone sliced more than one victims’ necks in like the same time because the way blood dripped out from the body was still as dry as the others, which was so impossible.

Zayn was laughing at that, the way the news anchor kept saying how impossible these or those things, which the impossible thing right now for Zayn was why everybody could still believe with the cops who worked there. They should asking those cops, begging them for some information, force them to work more damn hard than just stood there and moving things to the other side like Zayn would left something there before. What they would expect, Zayn’s phone number? They would probably need to do more than Liam did to get that, which of course Zayn didn’t even want to give them a chance anyway.

Another ring was coming from his phone but right now it was from Anne, which Zayn picked up soon. The next forty five minutes passed with a lot of people congratulated Zayn and other things, which Zayn kept saying thanks for like how many times that moment.

Zayn soon was falling asleep with a promise not to open Liam’s texts still.

 

~~~

The next day for Liam was a blurry day, same like a day after that next day.

Liam was in Louis car right now, on their way to café. Louis in the other hand was like a real sun in the cold weather; which promise everybody he would give them the warmth they needed, but now Louis was totally a dick, instead giving Liam the warmth he needed, Louis just kept rambling about how sweet his relationship with Harry, how they both planning to visited Louis’ grandmother this weekend, and how they spent their third date last night making out in the back seats when they were watching movie, and how Harry’s tongue licked his perfectly and bitted his lower lip—

“Oh cut that out, Lou! You’re gross.” Liam yelped and his hands flopped in front of his chest as he still facing the white landscape outside the window instead Louis’s big grin.

“You’re just that jealous ass, Liam.”

Liam got slapped at that. Of course he wasn’t jealous at Louis and Harry’s relationship, he wasn’t. It was just, it’s cute to see Harry was always there near Louis, even sometimes he acted too possessive dick every time Louis brought an order for a group of males. But wasn’t that giving you a warm vibration up to your heart knowing someone afraid to lose you? Harry was a kind guy, maybe he was same like Zayn, too emotionless to be human, but at least him was that warm feeling in rainy day for Louis, and Zayn, yeah Zayn too toward Liam. But,

There would always ‘buts’ for Zayn.

And yeah, maybe Liam got a little jealous over their relationship.

Louis looked to his side, to Liam who silently looked out through the window, still. It was supposed to be a joke but Liam really took it down to his little uncontrolled heart, made Louis grimaced and shook his head after that.

“Liam,”

“It’s okay, Lou. You both are cute, yeah.” Liam said, sounded like there still a hope inside it.

“Zayn is okay. Maybe, maybe he is busy, you know? Things like every hot and mysterious man do.”

Liam grunted but smiling anyway, but Louis sighed loudly at that.

“ _I’m going to shave his perfect hair if I meet him_.”Louis hissed but soon Liam hit his arm playfully and muttered _no, you’re not_ and smiling for the rest their way to the café.

It was already three days when Liam was entering this café without feeling a rush shy and his heartbeat dancing chaotically inside his chest. It was just a plain mess he felt with a bit sad storms which made his body was shivering down. He just missed Zayn, that’s all. He just wanted to stare at that dark gold eyes and felt like the clock stopped ticking. Liam just wanted to kiss that lips down and felt their heartbeat in the same rhythm. Liam just wanted Zayn there with Liam.

Liam and Louis entered the café which filled just half of the place. The kids running away with their penetrating laughs slightly like muted a music which played softly in there. Louis walked straight to the kitchen where Liam to the behind of the counter, joined Jennifer who still looking at her face through a small mirror, running her lipstick on her pale red but soft looked lips.

“Morning, Payne—how is my face now?” She grabbed Liam’s shoulder and turned him around, smile cheeky at Liam when his eyes roaming her face as she raised her brows, waited for the answer.

“Perfect, like always.” Liam laughing and rolling his eyes after Jennifer fake happily scream.

Liam was sipping his coffee with his back facing the counter as Jennifer served a group of teenagers. Liam was checking his phone, there was still a hope Liam build for Zayn but knowing he still didn’t get any news from Zayn, Liam was starting to think if maybe Liam was just a night fuck for Zayn, and nobody could blame Liam for thinking like that. Because who in this world would leave someone they love without any single word, after Zayn asked him to be his boyfriend, and now look, who was the one building the separate wall between them?

There were another people who ordering their drinks now as Liam could hear Jennifer’s voice been a bit lighten up and soon there was, “Liam?”

Liam gulped his still a bit hot coffee as surprised at the sudden of his name being called. He though it was Zayn in his happy mood, because that voice was sounded silvery before his mind could react, but as soon Liam turned around there was a guy from last night, Niall with his cheeky smile, grey loose shirt and black skinny jeans wrapped his body and he wore glasses today.

“Oh—Hey, Niall.”

Niall’s eyes brighten a bit or it was just Liam’s imagination before Niall said, “How are you today?”

“I’m good, you?”

“Same.”

“Nialler!” there was Louis’ voice came from the kitchen’s window behind Liam as the sound of shoes tapped on the floor and the bang from door being closed rushing continuously

“Hello, Lou!” Niall hugged Louis laughing together as they separated from each other and the ‘ _if we sing along a little fucking louder to a happy song maybe we will be forget’_ in the background.

“Have you meet Liam?” Louis cheekily nudged Niall before something red spreading along Niall’s cheeks and Niall just nodded at that.

“Didn’t know if he worked here with you too, Lou. I probably will be spending my winter in here.”

“How was London?”

“Like how London is supposed to be, I guess. I preferred here.” There was a happy sign inside his tone as Niall get comfortable and laid his back against the counter.

“Because of Liam, or?”

“No—yeah, Liam is cool. Yeah, was one of the other reasons?”

Louis nodded along, not wanting to push both the red-faced boys.

“Alright, I need to go back to my work. That curly man already burned down his table.” Louis patted Niall’s shoulder before going back to the kitchen, leaving Niall and Liam still there.

“So, my order is same like last night, yeah?”

“You want me to take your order to your table?”

“It’s okay, I will do that by myself, don’t want to disturb you.”

“Niall, I said it is fine—“

“I can do that, Liam.”

“You are really spoiled me, Niall.”

Niall just laughing at that, made Liam wondering how was this guy’s life, why did he looked so happy and laughing all the time, and he really hurt Liam because Liam was dying to laugh again for like three days.

Another buzzing sounds from people talking filled the café’s atmosphere, like bees in his campus’ backyard. The bell on the door was pinging as people came and gone. All of that voice mixed to one, created a simple melodic Liam used to hear inside his dream because of that old music box his grandmother kept playing before Liam slept. Liam was drowning between reality and his dream, filled the half black coffee filled cup with milk, the smell from black coffee with milk smelled like the morning he was in elementary school, when his mother used to make a breakfast for him. It was a long time ago but remembered at that could give Liam the feeling of being needed.

People chattering, cups tingling, bell pinging soon freezing until the sounds that exist only came from the ticking off the clock and his heartbeat which getting a bit louder and louder when Liam smelled something was up in the air,

A musky perfume and mixed with the sour and sweet from apple radiating and filling every air that Liam breath. This smells so good, always put Liam in a place Liam didn’t know it was exist until he kept inhaling the air.

_This smells like Zayn._

It felt like when you jumped from high ground, the inside of your stomach twisting and moving uncontrolled. Liam blinked his eyes, trying to get a contact with his brain again, trying to get a total control of his own body. This Zayn fever already enough drove him crazy. Liam hands were shaking, made that milk ran down to his finger a bit and Liam jerked his hand a moment after. Liam put the cup on the tray, bow down to take another big plate for the cakes. Everything couldn’t be so real right now, before another person called him from his back. But instead he got surprise, this time he felt stiff on his feet as that voice sent a shiver down his spine.

“Liam,”

Liam just kept continuing put some sliced caked on the tray and took it with him as him turned around and put the tray on the counter. Liam didn’t bring his eyes so far up. He could see that familiar black jeans that ripped on the knees and that snickers, a figure stood not so far behind Niall.

“Here’s your order.” Liam said as he tried to give a small smile to Niall from where he kept looked down to the table.

“Thanks, Liam.” Niall said a bit light and happy; he probably didn’t feel like what Liam felt right now. Liam nodded at that.

Liam just stood there as the figure walked closer and closer and his scent filled Liam’s nose, choking him in pleasure way and ‘ _You watch me bleed until I can't breathe, shaking, falling onto my knees and now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches’_ playing as their background. Liam knew he should act cold toward Zayn—he figured that was Zayn—Zayn forgot him, so Liam could do that too.

When the figure finally stopped, it was when the space between them only filled with the counter. Liam could feel Zayn’s eyes already dig a hole to the top of Liam’s head that kept looking at the table counter, like the dark wooden table was the comedy show he prefers to watch than this down to earth angel right in front of him.

Liam stayed silent still, he believe if he already being cold toward Zayn until Liam could feel a sudden hot feeling spread on his cheeks when he could felt a warm breath getting closer to his right ear, the lips stay close to it before moves to kiss Liam’s cheek, just a soft hovering lips on the redder skin which made a goose bumps all over Liam’s skin, and the lips moved back to his ear as that familiar smoky voice talking; this situation same like that in the pub, the first time Zayn touched Liam and his voice drove his sanity away from Liam.

“Liam, can we talk for a moment, in my car?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?? am I doing a good work? xx


	11. Eleven

_“Could we talk, in my car?”_

 

Liam got silent for a moment before he shook his head no. Then Liam just squeezed his eyes tight when a pair of hands blanked his hands as lips ran along his jaw.

“Please?”Zayn said lowly.

Liam wasn’t in this kind of position before, where he should choose between his reputation or his heart that became weaker and weaker if the man in front of him kept begging him. Liam knew if Zayn knew it too if Liam would never be able to say no to him, no matter how hard or hurt Zayn act toward him. Liam knew if Zayn knew too that it would be always Liam who crawling back at him even Liam was the one who pushed Zayn away in the same time.

Liam was backing from the grip on his hands and went to the kitchen instead. Louis looked at him with concerned eyes and Liam didn’t like it when Louis acted like Liam couldn’t handle his own problem. Grown up with someone that older than you made Louis always acted like he was Liam’s brother from another parents.

“Zayn want to talk to me, in his car. Can you cover me? I’m not long anyway.”

“Go ahead.” Louis nodded and waved him away. Louis didn’t meet Liam’s eyes when he was talking and Liam knew if Louis was fighting with his own moral to not storming out from the kitchen and spat all bad words he was trying to handle since the morning he saw Liam’s expression three days ago.

Zayn was never Louis’ favorite. Louis said Liam was better with Brad, guy in the same class with Liam and been in relationship with him for at least two weeks because Liam couldn’t stand his side; too kind and too romantic and always agree with whatever Liam want until Liam always felt sick even when meeting him on the hallway, Liam didn’t want a guy like that. Louis said if Zayn wasn’t a type of person that wanting to have long term relationship and in the end Liam would be dumped and hurt more than he was before. And now Liam was hate everything include his head because now, since Zayn was leaving him without news, all that playing inside his head were ‘Louis said’ words until Liam could repeating all Louis’ words perfectly same with like him.

As that Liam walked out from the kitchen, he tipped his head to the side when he looked at Zayn, signaled him to walk to outside the café. Zayn stood from his table and chased Liam when they were walking. Zayn put his jacket around Liam’s shoulder, which Liam didn’t have time to say no to him because Zayn just walked to the car a feet away in front of Liam now after that. Zayn opened the front door and wait until Liam got inside and shut it. Zayn walked to the other side of the car and got inside, locked all doors with the button on his door.

They were sitting there, breathing their own air. And time like this could kill Liam harder than a sharp knife.

“Why did you call me?” once again Zayn’s voice was low, but there was something Liam knew Zayn wanted to hear from Liam even he already know it himself.

Liam pinched his arm. Why Zayn would ask it to Liam? Liam had to be worried about Zayn and there was nothing wrong with that.

“I’m worried.”

Zayn dryly laughed but for Liam it was hurt to hear it. Zayn clicked his tongue before said, “I’m working. You don’t have to be worried about that.”

“Why you didn’t just reply my text telling if you’re working?”

Because he can’t, when Zayn heard Liam’s voice, he knew Liam would able to silent the monster inside Zayn’s heart. Because even Zayn was slaughter, Liam still was his weakness. And all things he already perfectly planned since so many years ago would be turned into worthless dust and all of that because of Liam and something inside him that Zayn would give anything to be able to turn around and changed the reality of his life that he was hiding from Liam.

“I’m busy. I’m working.” Zayn was tapping his fingers on the wheeling steer now.

They got silent again but all of this silent just made Liam loose his patient veins. Something between the tapping and breathing sounds inside the car dragged Liam to his deepest emotional, telling him he was stupid for letting one person ruining his life but is able to say sorry and Liam forgave him. But the other just wanted Liam to cry and shout and scream if he was tired if all of this. And the last feeling was curious if whether Zayn was working or maybe he already found another person to stay with.

“So?” Liam asked him and Zayn shifted on his seat.

“I guess you deserved an apologizing.”

And that’s when Liam really looses his patient. Because fuck him, what he was thinking about Liam? Was Liam that thing he would come to when he wasn’t busy and left it again when he was busy and he just deserved a simple apologizing? Fuck apologizing because Liam was tired with all of it.

“ _I don’t need your words_.”Liam mumbled it, but wished it was good if Zayn didn’t hear it a second it left his mouth. But Zayn heard it as his taps on the wheeling steer stopped and Liam knew everything would be turning worse now.

“What did you say?” Zayn turned to Liam as he raised his voice a bit.

Liam stayed quite but the tap Zayn’s fingers made on the wheeling steer that starting again were killing him again, like hand around his neck which getting tighter every other taps.

“I said I don’t need your words! If all this—just cut it off, Zayn, I’m not up for any words you will say.” Liam took Zayn’s jacket from his shoulder and threw it to Zayn’s direction, “Now, fucking open the door, I need to work.”

Liam knew what he had done was wrong but, he need to let it out. Zayn needed to know he hurt Liam and he had to stop being ignorant.

Liam thought for a split of second, if Zayn would be grabbing his arm and begged him to listen to him, told him how much he was sorry for leaving Liam without any words these past days. Liam just wish Zayn would, now, make Liam believes if Zayn really need him. Just a few words and he would crawling back to Zayn and never question it anymore. He wished he could see that side from Zayn that he was dying to feel.

But all Liam’s hope and the beautiful scenes he was playing inside his head was vanishing in the same time Liam heard the door’s lock being opened and Zayn laid his back flatly again on his seat and he dryly laughed before spoke in low tone,

“Then get out. Get the fuck out from my car, Liam— _just, get the fuck out_.”

Liam’s throat felt dry; Zayn didn’t yelled at him, but his words was hard as the stone hitting his heart until it didn’t has a shape anymore. Liam didn’t say anything just walked back to the inside of the café. He cleared his throat for gaining his power. He wouldn’t crying here, with a lot of people could saw him. Liam’s eyes not leaving the front glassy door until a sleek black car drove away from the café’s area. Liam ran his hand on his face, because yeah, Liam made it worse again, like past days.

~~~

“Liam?”

Harry was there, stood in front of the counter with both hands stuck inside his trouser’s pockets

“Are you going to yell at me too?” because Liam was really done with all of it. One person already enough to give him the hate he need until he was old enough too able to walking. And if Harry was here to judge him, Liam swore he would break down on his feet.

“What—No, Liam what make you thought like that? Did Zayn yell at you?”

“No.”

“So?” Harry raised his brows as his fully body was facing Liam

“I guess it wasn’t part of your business.” Liam answered, still not meeting his green eyes.

“Liam, Zayn was—“

“Sorry. Zayn was sorry, I knew that.”

Harry ran his fingers on his hair impatiently and said, “He is. Zayn would never hurt you, Liam.”

Liam sniffed his nose, fuck he wasn’t crying it was just his eyes watery. And another fuck was because Liam really wanted to believe Harry. He really wanted to feel it, like Zayn was there for him. But fuck he wasn’t and Liam couldn’t mad at that. Fuck because Liam was falling in love with him, just too hard but Zayn wasn’t there to catch him.

“He didn’t care about me, Harry. He didn’t” Liam was laughing as a single tears fell to the cashier machine.

Harry wanted to argue with that, pulled Liam hair hard and scream at his face to stop thinking bad about Zayn. Zayn loved him and Harry was confused why Liam didn’t feel about it. Because Harry was there when he saw Zayn for the first time not being able to say it out loud if he might like Liam but Liam might not feel the same. Zayn was looking so reckless that time and Harry knew Liam was so important for Zayn.

~~~

Liam closed his bedroom’s door tightly as he was holding his backpack and his phone which kept vibrating in his hand. Liam threw his bag on the bed and walked to the window, opened the curtain and the window and sat on the edge before pushed the answer button on his phone.

“Liam, you are okay, right?”

Liam took a deep breath before answering Louis. Liam could hear Harry’s soft murmured on the background. He took a deep breath and let it out shakily.

“I’m fine, Louis. I gotta go, bye.”

Liam clicked the phone off.

It was late night and Liam was sitting near the window of his bedroom, watching the dark of the empty sky, felt empty like his heart. There was nothing he could look from his window, just an empty backyard and his neighbors’ house roofs.

Liam was not going to lie this time because damn, Liam was feeling love every time he was with Zayn. And now, it all was like only Liam who fighting to recollect the memories between them. Liam was tired for always smiling about it. He was tired to act about it. If he could, Liam wanted to changed the direction of his heart to other people because, this hurt, was enough to hurt him.

Liam was wondering did he hurt Zayn so much like Zayn did to him.

Or did it just Liam?

 

~~~

 

Zayn sipped another glass of red wine. The way it ran down his throat was plain and sting. His head was a light cotton bud, flying to where the wind taking him. And he hates Liam for everything he felt right now, but wondering why he could able to hurt even an inch of Liam’s skins.

“Zayn, you have to stop. You drink too much, give me that glass.”

Harry came from the glassy door and walked toward the balcony of his room and tried to grab the bottle from Zayn’s hand. Zayn took the bottle away when Harry’s hand was closer to his bottle.

“Go away, Harry. I’m not listening at you right now.”Zayn took another sip.

“What is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with you…”Zayn murmured and sip the bottle

“You and Liam were same. Could you both just cut it all and told each other if you guys are missed each other. It was suck, Zayn. I though you loved him.”

Harry’s words caught Zayn’s attention, made he glared at Harry.

“You better to shut the fuck up if don’t know what was happening with us. And I fucking love him, Harry. Couldn’t you all see that? Couldn’t you all fucking stop minding our relationship?”

“Then why the fuck he told me if you didn’t care about him? All you have to is apologizing to him, Zayn. But you are the one who always being the hard ass. Stop being so—fucking I don’t know what you planned here.”

Zayn stood from the floor, took the half empty wine bottle with him as he was walking to his bedroom. He drank the rest of the wine when he was already inside the room and threw the bottle to the side. It was hitting the wall and cranks sound filled his ear as he fucking curse the air, again and again.

Zayn was hurt but he wasn’t going to cry because no one deserved his tears other than his mom. But Liam really pushed his emotion and all he felt now was hurt every time he took his breath and he looked down at the messy on his floor as the single tear escape his eye.

Because he was not lie when he wanted to say to Liam that he missed Liam when he couldn’t see him that time, he truly felt it but Liam wasn’t ready to hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it? :)


	12. Twelve

It was five in the morning and same like always Zayn was already wide awake on his bed. He was looking at his phone whether maybe Liam was the one who give up and call him, but none. He was thinking to go to this place and maybe he could change something. Zayn took a shower and drying his body and wear just a pair of black skinny jeans and a loose black shirt with red dark beanie on his head. Zayn was walking down the stair before a voice stop him.

“Zaaayn,”

Zayn just kept walking but the girl was talking again.

“Are you going somewhere? Can I come with you? Please?”

“Working.”

“You are not and I know it. Plus it is Sunday.” Carla stated from the sofa she laid down.

“I don’t care.”

“I will come with you.”

Zayn was turned around and that girl, who still was lay down lazily on the sofa, wore just short and tank top and Zayn’s blood was boiled because fuck she said she wanted to come with him but she wasn’t even changed her clothes.

“I’m in fucking hurry and you’re still bloody not ready for going anywhere!”

She constantly stood from the sofa and running toward the stairs as she yelled to wait for her in the car before got inside her room.

The car was running on the still snowy road and finally stopped in the front of a house’s gate.

“Where we are now?” She said in hush tone.

“Liam’s house.”

Zayn was pushed the car’s door open but she stopped him.

“Can I come with you too? I really miss that Sugar Lips.”

“Stop calling him that name and you’re fucking waiting me in here!”

Zayn was closing the door with a bit bang and walked toward the front door.

~~~

Liam was already taking his shower but now lazily lying on his bed, playing to whatever on his phone. He was nearly slept again until he heard a girl’s loud laugh coming from down his bedroom. It wasn’t going to be his niece or even Louis’ sisters, he never brought them to Liam’s unless Christmas. Liam was trying to act if it was only his neighbor who came to visit until his mom calling him and Liam answered her as walking from his bed, groaning and thumbing his foot.

Liam was walking toward the kitchen but as soon as he was there, he regretted it. Liam even regretted if he was waking up early again this morning. Liam was regretting to see Zayn this fucking fresh on his again thin shirt and now wearing beanie while Liam was fighting to not taking a bath or yes this morning.

“What are you doing here, Zayn?” Zayn who was smiling to whatever Liam’s mother was talking before was now looking at Liam with his expression that Liam never knew what that was.

“Liam, don’t be so rude. Why you never tell me if you have friends near here?” Liam’s mother asked while she was busier her hands with knife and tomatoes.

“Sugar Lips!!”Then a girl running toward Liam and hugged him tight.

“Didn’t I say you wait in the car?” Zayn said and Liam turned her eyes from the girl that hugged him to Zayn.

“Alright, sorry, Zayn. Bye sugar!”Carla then walked toward the front door and vanished by the closed door.

Liam just stood in the middle of the room when his eyes stare right to Zayn’s eyes that did the same.

“Why not, both of you wait on your room, Liam until I finish the breakfast? I will call you when the waffles are ready.”

Liam walked up to the stair and Zayn following him.

They both were already inside the room, behind the closed door, but none of them wanted to talk first. Zayn was still standing in the middle of the room where Liam was sitting on his desk’s chair. Their eyes were still connecting with each other, And Liam sure, if Zayn needed to leave him now, his room, before the single tear fell down, even Liam wasn’t sure if he still could able to cry after last night.

“What are you doing here?”

“I want to apologize.”Zayn said flatly and eyes still on Liam’s

“I said I didn’t need your words. And still, right now too.”

Zayn shook his head as he lowly chuckle and said, “So you want to end all of this?”

Liam was silent and Zayn too, after that. Like both of them was worried about what was going to happen if one of them let another words escaped.

The next ticking from the clock and Liam was standing from his chair and started walking toward Zayn, but exactly toward the door as he was saying, “I’m not going to answer it.”

That time Liam was passing him, Zayn was grabbing Liam’s back shirt. There wasn’t need to do much about that because Zayn was familiar with things like this and Liam’s body was easily to control and following behind when he was thrown to the bed.

Liam was panting hard and lay flatly on the bed when Zayn crawled on his top, pinned both his hands above his head and the other hand was grabbing Liam’s jaw. Just in a second Zayn could break that jaw, maybe it was _easier_ to do than earning an apologizing kiss.

Zayn bended down until they were face to face and close and the grip tighten around Liam’s jaw.

“Are you fucking telling me, Liam if you want to end this?”

Liam stared at the figure on his top, became blurry and blurry every time he blinked his eyes. Zayn was saying the same things but louder now, as the lower of Liam’s lip was shaking now. Liam was shaking his head no now, or he was trying under the tight grip on his jaw. And Liam was crying now, he was fucking crying now and sobbing instantly.

“I—I don’t want to b—break up with you, Zayn, I don’t want!”Liam’s voice was crack and shaking and all of that stabbing Zayn’s heart again and again in the same spot. Zayn was letting his hand fell from Liam’s jaw to the bed to hold his body up, a bit far to be able to look at Liam clearly. Zayn was silent as he was watching Liam crying, and Liam continued talking,

“I just—want to know where you were that time. I wasn’t going to disturb you if I knew you’re busy. But you—didn’t even answer my call or text, or whatever. I’m— all of this made me wondering, I never felt like having a boyfriend. I missed you, Zayn, I did, and that feeling corrupted me.”

Zayn was moving his head down until his head lay down on Liam’s forehead as the time Liam’s finished his words with another shaking breath.

“Hush, Liam” Zayn said lowly.

Zayn was running his thumb on Liam’s lower lip as both their nose and forehead touched each other. Liam was moving his head forward, to eliminate the space between them and kissed Zayn first on the mouth as the other sobbing escaping Liam’s lips but changed with Zayn who groaning frustrated between the kiss. Liam’s hand was in the back of Zayn’s neck, pulled him toward Liam more and more. Zayn was breaking the kiss to pull Liam’s shirt out from his body and bending again to kiss the skin on his neck. Zayn was biting the skin there and earned a tight grip on his hair as another shaking moan between the cry came one by one like they were trying to filling the space on the room.

“You fucking can’t imagine how desperately I miss you so much Liam. You never want to know that, fuck you for thinking I’m not care at you, because I fucking care, damn Liam.”Zayn now flatly covering Liam’s body, hand ran down on Zayn’s back and back to his hair which now not covered with beanie again.

“Then why you didn’t say anything to me when you’re gone?”Liam said breathily.

“I couldn’t do my job if I heard your voice.”

“Why—oh fuck…”

Liam was moaning as that time the hard behind Zayn’s jeans hit his hard that covered with only thin pants, Liam was encircle his feet around Zayn’s waist as Zayn kept doing the same thing now.

“You want it? You want us to do that now?” Zayn groaned and grinded hard and slow, both their mouths were open and touching as like they’re breathing from each other’s lungs. He was made sure Liam felt his hard clearly and he wanted to feel Liam’s too, which he was growled after that.

“No—no, you’re crazy, my mom will come if next time she call and we’re not coming to ki—kitchen.”

“So what do you want?”

“Just—like this.”

Zayn was moved his hand down to Liam’s belly and stop on his hard, now palming him.

“What—what should I do now?” Liam was shaking and moaning as the pleasure build up inside his stomach.

Zayn was laughing hard now, all crinkles were visible under his eyes as he gave some kisses to Liam’s lips and said, “God, are you close? Feel thigh inside your stomach or something tickling here?”

“Yes, oh, more than that…” Liam bitted his lip as his cheeks redden.

Zayn was laughing again, and somehow the laugh turned into throaty moan and Liam closed both his eyes, enjoying the moment.

“I’m close _, Zayn.”_ Liam’s voice was shaking like he was ready to cry again and Zayn kissed him to shut him.

“Come then, baby, because,” Zayn paused to kiss Liam hard and, “Because _I love you_.”Zayn smiled when Liam hugged him tight as another tears slipped his eyes and Zayn inserted his hand to the inside of Liam’s pants and palming Liam, and the warmest of Zayn’s hand and the emotional feeling Liam felt dragged him to his high and coming all over Zayn’s hand and his pants.

“I love you too.” Liam said breathless, lips still touching with Zayn and Zayn chuckled between the kiss, “I love you more, Liam.”

Zayn smirked while looking down to his hand and said, “Next time if we’re alone, I’m going to ask you to lick my hand clean.” Then Liam was still able to breathlessly groan at that.

Zayn was stood from the bed and stared down to Liam who was still breathing and shaking and legs were separating wide, his chest was naked, pants soaked with his come, and cheeks redden covered with dry tears and Zayn was thinking twice for the breakfast now.

“Liam, you better to get up now, before I change my mind and we will not go down to kitchen for another two hours.”

Liam was getting up fast at that and walked to his wardrobe, took another pants while Zayn cleaned his hand in Liam’s toilet. Liam threw his pants to the dirty clothes’ basket and put his pants up, but hands were stopping him. Zayn was holding Liam’s hand on his front as he was hugging Liam from behind and Liam’s pants still half way on his knees.

“What if we are just skipped the breakfast, babe?” Zayn’s voice was throaty, lips on Liam’s ear.

“We can’t—Zayn.” Liam said and a bit squeaky, Zayn huffed but nodded after that before let Liam go and pulled Liam’s pants up until the band of the pants properly reaching Liam’s waist and squeezed his arse one more time before put his hand on Liam’s waist, drag him out from his room.

~~~

“So, Liam, Why didn’t you tell me if you have any friends instead of Louis in here?”Liam’s mother’s voice was light and sounded happy as the four of them having breakfast.

“Um,” Liam took a spoon full of waffle, like he was trying to avoid this conversation.

“Zayn was coming daily to Harry’s café because of Liam.” Clara said as happily as she drink her warm chocolate and got two pairs of eyes glaring at her now, which she was regretting to even go out from home after that.

“Oh really? You both have to stop creating this nonsense romantic drama’s scene, and tell me the truth.”

“It was the truth, um, Mrs. Payne.” Zayn said with a nod. And without looking at Liam, Zayn knew if Liam was bloody blushing now.

“God, alright, I hope your father is ready to hear about it.”

Both the men nodded but one of them was dying to know if he could able to save their relationship for the next day and his job in the same times. Because Zayn was already learning, in life, there could be two persons who you loved the most.

~~~

“I will pick you up tomorrow, yeah?” Zayn’s face was close to Liam as both of them were standing in front of the house’ front door, where Clara was still inside with Liam’s mom, talking to whatever daughters could discuss with their mom. Zayn’s hands encircled around Liam’s waist and Liam’s were around Zayn’s neck, pulled him down until Liam could face to face with him.

“But, Tommo will too.” Liam was pouting.

“Fuck that Tommo could pick other dudes but mine.” Zayn said frustrated but Liam’s slapped his cheek softly and they were both laughing silently like that teenagers who tried to make out in front of their locker.

“Kiss me,” Liam’s face was serious while Zayn’s lips was hovering his for full minute, not kissing him.

“I would, I would when both of them not watching us from your window, Liam.”

Liam pushed Zayn a bit to able to turn around and found if his mom with both raised brows and Carla was grinning ear to ear like she was waiting to see this for a long time, looking at them now.

Liam was groaning on Zayn’s neck while Zayn just laughing until his body was shaking, “They are gross.” Liam groaned.

“Forgive them, babe. Um, I have to go now, by the way.”

Zayn kissed Liam’s forehead and signaling Clara to go out. After both of Zayn and Clara were excused their selves, soon the car was running out from the house’ drive.

The next two days Zayn always there in the morning every time Liam wanted to go to café and have like five minutes precious time with him which made his lips getting redder and heavy and Louis had this disgusting expression on his face.

Today, Zayn wasn’t going home that time they were arriving in the café. Both of Zayn and Liam were walking toward the front door when his hand was on Liam’s waist and another hand was pushing the door open. Liam pecked Zayn’s lips shortly before walked toward the counter. Harry was already sitting on the table where Zayn was sitting now, with a newspaper in front of him.

Liam was putting the money to the inside of the cashier before the front door being pushed, the bell was ringing and Niall was walking inside; some snow covered his bright blonde hair and sweater and his cheeks was redden and a thick book was hugged by him.

“Good morning Liam!”

“Hello. Wow you cold?”

Niall was crinkled his brows and looking anywhere as his hand ran down his hair, the snow caught by the fingers and moved his hand to get the snow off his fingers, and said, “Um, no?”

“Your cheeks, flushed.”

“Maybe it was because another reason?”Niall was chuckling lowly and looked away. And now, Liam was the one who blushing at that. Gosh he had to stop it.

“I will order like before.”

Liam was missing to make his order and back again with a tray.

“Thanks.”

“So, you have learned psychology too?”

Niall looked to the book he was holding, “Oh, I got interesting with this a year ago and already taking a job in my uncle’s office in London, but just in holiday.”

“But the holiday isn’t finished yet, why are you here?”

“You know the answer, mate. Or are you trying to make fun of me?” Niall chuckled at ran his hand on his hair again, like maybe it was his habit when he was nervous?

Liam wanted to laugh with him, but that time his eyes flicked to Harry’s table, soon his humor side was dead because of the pair of eyes that staring at their direction.

“I’m not—you better to drink your coffee before it cold!”

Niall laughed again before said thanks and brought the tray with him to the empty table in the middle of the room.

Two hours was already passed and Zayn was walking to the counter now,

“Hey, when will your shift finished today?”

Liam looked at his watch, “in ten minutes, babe. Why?”

Zayn moved closer and whispered, “Just wondering, you want to go to my home this afternoon? I will drive you home after that.”

“Sure” Liam gave a small peck to Zayn’s lips and Zayn walked back to his table with fond smile.

~~~

They were sitting on the sofa in Zayn’s room now; Liam was lay down on Zayn’s chest and sat on the space between Zayn’s legs, both their hand was holding controllers, playing video games. The next thing was Zayn put the controller down on the floor covered with carpet as both his hands running on his face and groan tiredly but Liam just happily shouting ‘I win!’ to his face.

Liam was putting his controller down and crawling on Zayn’s lap now, every move that Liam’s made while he was trying to sit on Zayn’s lap was made Zayn groaned. Liam was trying to kiss Zayn, but Zayn just moved his head to the other side and again and again, until Liam was groaning tiredly.

“Fuck, Zayn. Kiss me, please. You were losing the game!”

Zayn was laughing before let Liam kissed him. They are kissing hard and Zayn said between the kiss, “you want to ride me?” and smirked when Liam was freezing on his position.

“Ride w—no, no, we can’t.”

“Okay, okay.” Zayn pulled him closer again and kissed him to stop Liam from blushing more. Zayn was on his way to grab Liam’s arse between the kiss before Liam moved from his lap back to the sofa, feet laying on Zayn’s hip and face lay on the head sofa, so close to Zayn’s face when he turned his head to the side.

“I love you, Zayn.” Liam said silently before Zayn kissed his forehead and nuzzled his nose to Liam’s hair and said, “I love you too, Liam.”

They both were cuddling and whispered all sweet words before a voice caught Zayn’s attention.

“Zayn?”

Liam pulled his body from Zayn, but Zayn’s arm securely held Liam tight, close to him. They must hear if someone opened the door but exactly they were too busy with each other.

“You need something, Anne?”Zayn asked, still holding Liam closer when Liam tried to move away from Zayn’s arm. Anne was standing on the door. Her half figure was hiding by the door; she wore her black night gown and her hair was in messy bun, like someone was waking her up just a few minutes before.

“We should talk in living room.”

Zayn nodded and Anne was closing the door again. Zayn was asking Liam if he wanted to just stay in his room or go downstairs with him, which Liam chose the second option after that.

Liam was looking at some pictures that hanging down on the wall while Zayn was walking toward Anne who folded her arms in front of her chest. She was looking up and down at Zayn.

“Zayn, what is wrong with you? You missed two opportunities. You could have—Zayn, you still have a job in here and look at you now, goofing around with that chief son? Are you trying to put all of us in the edge of canyon? You want all of us to die? What is wrong with you?” Anne’s voice was low like she was telling the secret but stern like she wanted Zayn to know if she was tired with all of this.

Where Zayn never seen this side of Anne.

“I could leave him like before, Anne.” Zayn was answering after a full minute star e down on the floor silently.

“No, you would still crawl back to him, and things like this will happen again. You better, if you want to make a distance with him, then you better to have a real one.”

Zayn wanted to skip this part of his life, where he should take one from two options that he preferred to have both for his life.

“Zayn, you—you really love him and its wrong! You could—Why should him, Zayn? You could choose other boys and—I can’t believe I’m talking like this to you, Zayn. You’re my baby boy, I love you and I want you to be happy. I don’t want seeing you caught and stay behind that cell. I could kill anybody who does that to you, even he is that boy!”Anne raised her voice and Zayn just could shut his eyes tight and thinking.

“I will—“Zayn was cut with Anne who raised her hand and tip her head to the side,

“Liam, you want to come join us?”Anne asked with a light on her voice, like nothing was happen.

Zayn paused and looked to his behind where Liam walked closer to them.

When Liam stopped next to Zayn, she cleared her throat and said, “Now, Zayn what did you want to say?”

Zayn just want to keep it as a secret, broke up with Liam without he knowing it. So Zayn just glared at Anne but she just shook her head.

“I know you want to say something before and I think Liam need to know about it.”

Zayn was looking to the far distance behind Anne as Liam called him lowly. Liam was afraid now and it hurt Zayn.

“Come on Zayn, say it, I know Liam want to know about it too.”Anne said again.

Zayn let his breath out and said, “We will break up.”

“Sorry we can’t hear you.”

“I said we will break up! I and Liam have no relationship anymore after this. We are fucking break up!” Zayn spat at her but she gladly smile at both of hurt men.

Liam watched both of them in horror. Liam must be wrong. His ears must be not working. Zayn wasn’t broke up with him. Because they were happy before and nothing was wrong to be the reason why they were broke up. But as the woman named Anne clapped both her hands together, Liam was sure if he heard right and now everything was reaching the end line.

“It is for the best.” Anne said. She turned her attention to confused still Liam and said, “Now, Liam, if you’re done in here or don’t have anything to say, I would let you to excuse. It’s going to be night soon, you better going home fast. If you want, Clara could drive you home—“

“I will drive him home.”Zayn said flatly but he earned a long narrowing stare from Anne.

“If you want to drive him home, you going to make it just for twenty minutes and you are already in this room again. If you couldn’t make it, then don’t go.” She gave both of them the angry eyes.

“I will go home with taxi. Thanks, Zayn.”

Anne was mumbling ‘good’, before walking back to the stair and heading to her room.

Zayn was opening his mouth to talk but Liam just shaking his head no. Zayn watched Liam walked to the front door. He want to say something but he knew deep down, he was already hurt Liam so much and Zayn didn’t deserve to say something to Liam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everybody who keep reading it, especially for @anastasia131d thanks a lot for supporting me and wait patiently for this all, love you. and all of you, I love you too!! xx :)


	13. Thirteen

Liam was sitting on the table on the corner of the café with Niall in front of him and some aromatic candles on the small table that was put against the wall sized window. It was raining outside, where the snowy looked like melting and the sky was grey, made the inside of the café, which wasn’t had a light on, looked a bit dark and old, but Liam liked it.

It was already January on the air and Liam didn’t know anything about Zayn since that evening he said broke up with Liam, not even Harry bothered to talk about him to Liam. And like Liam wasn’t expected it early, it was Niall who stayed with Liam, everyday, accompanied Liam on his shifts.

It was Niall that begged Liam to have a drink with him because the café was nearly full and all costumers already being served and all of them was silent like everybody were enjoying moment like this in winter and Liam didn’t have any work that time.

Liam wasn’t all sad right now, he wasn’t even crying for the past three weeks and two days after the day they broke up. Liam was numb, that’s it, and confused too.

“Are you going to tell me what was happened with you?”Niall sip his coffee and laid his back to his seat, looking at Liam.

“Nothing.”Liam said, stirring his coffee and his eyes didn’t meet Niall’s.

“You are sad.”Niall stated.

“Good observation, doctor Niall.”

Niall groaned at that, “You need to let it out. And I’m not even a doctor, Liam. Reading some health books won’t make you becomes doctor.”

“Okay, I’m sad. It was because of love.”Liam let out his nervous laugh.

Niall nodded, “not everybody deserved a good love, Liam. Maybe that person wasn’t too.”

“But, he did love me too, I know that. When everything seemed to get better, the next minute it was broke apart. He was like a guy from my dreams. I never fell for someone like this way.”

Niall was tapping Liam’s hand which lay on the table with his hand and said, “Liam, love isn’t love if it isn’t going to be hurt. And you know what? People sometimes hoping for their dreams to come true, but when it was happening, they all regretted it; say it wasn’t like their dream. They’re dumb growing up thinking only happiness that contain in a dream.”

Liam was raised both his brows and said, “Because that is dream, happiness and your hopes, how could it turned bad?”

Niall chuckled before said as he stared deep into Liam’s eyes, “But people forget to tell you that _Nightmare_ was a dream too.”

~~~

It was already 8 p.m. while Liam was checking his email from his phone. Just a single email sent from his faculty about the schedule of his subjects for this semester. One more week until Liam was back to his college and he needed to excuse himself to Harry if he wasn’t working there anymore. Liam was staying in dorms until next year, where Louis already moved to his house. Liam’s college was four towns away from his home and Liam knew, it was the perfect option too, where Liam could get busy with his class and soon forgetting Zayn who broke up with him like three weeks ago.

Liam was already told Louis about this yesterday and Louis with his hard face saying it was for the best and he was going to miss Liam so much while he was working alone with Jennifer, but promised Liam if Liam was going to hang out with Louis often in campus.

Liam was walking toward the door next to kitchen’s door. He knocked twice and pushed the door. Harry lifted his head from the book he was reading and smiling even his eyes a bit confused.

“Did Louis tell you anything about me before?” Liam said as that time he was standing in the middle of the room.

Harry shook his head slowly, said, “No, unless the one, you know, with,” He moved his hand, not wanting to mention Zayn’s name knowing Liam’s emotion would be changed after that.

“Harry, I won’t work here anymore. Next week I will back to campus.”Liam said firmly but slowly.

Harry was staring at Liam, a bit surprised mixed with disappointed written on his face. He took a deep breath before stood from his seat and said, “This is so sudden, Liam. Is there, is there something you don’t like about my café? Is it, are you felt tired because of your shift? We could change it.”

Liam was laughing but shaking his head, “Harry, my class will start next week and you know how far it is this place from my college, right? I couldn’t stand it, I will be so tired. I will stay if I could, but you know, I can’t.”

Harry was still looking at Liam as Liam added, “And all of this not because of Zayn, so don’t start making any bad news, Harry.”

“Louis knew about it?”

“Of course, Louis will be starting his class next week too.”

Harry just nodded, “When will you start not working again?”

“Tomorrow. Today is my last.”

Harry took an envelope out from his desk and gave it to Liam, “I’m going to miss you, Liam.”

“Thanks, thanks for everything.”

Liam took the envelope from Harry and turned around.

“Liam?” Liam turned around again, hand already grabbed the door’s knob, looking at Harry, “But words I told you about Zayn long times ago were right, Liam.”Harry was looking concerned as Liam kept nodding.

“I know. Thanks Harry.”

As that Liam walked out from the room.

~~~

Zayn was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling of his room before his phone vibrating on his side. He picked it up,

“Harry?”

Zayn heard Harry sighed hard before said, “Zayn, Liam was retired from café.”

~~~

Liam was laughing with the others while they were walking out from the café in the snowy night. One week ago, Liam was spending his new years in Louis’ house with Harry too. Liam was so happy no one from them talking about Zayn. Liam was deleting his number too and damn if Liam could say, Liam was missing him.

Jennifer was driving him home, telling him how much she was going to miss Liam especially when she was fighting with Louis. And Liam just smiled and said if he was having time, he would come around. Liam said thanks to her before walked out from the car and ran toward his home. No one was home right now; probably his parents were having dinner outside.

Liam pushed the door open, as all he wish was looking to his bed and around things already packed inside his suitcases. But now half his clothes were lying on the floor and Zayn was sitting on his bed. Almost a month without looking at him, Zayn was still the same; black hair messier than before, but there were bags under his eyes and his skin was paler than before, made Liam wondered if he was sick.

Liam was on his way to greet him but before he could do that, Zayn stood from the bed and storming to Liam, not close enough for Liam to steal a kiss from him, but close enough to kill him with only a stare.

“Liam what are you doing?”Zayn said as he gritted his teeth.

“I will back to campus next week.”

“So as that you think you should retire from café?”

“Zayn, my campus was far from here. I would die in exhausted if I keep working and studying in the same time. Why all of you were angry with me? I don’t see any mistake in here. What are you doing even here?!”

Zayn backing a bit but Liam could see the stiff on his shoulders

“Or is it because of us?”Zayn said silently.

Liam was going to say no, like that time he said to Harry. But when Zayn was the one who asked it to him, Liam started to rethink about it, if it might true too. Liam could stay with Louis to be honest, but he just couldn’t and now Liam knew, Zayn was the first reason he did it.

Liam was still had a hope for Zayn to stop him to do this, but Zayn wasn’t, like he did before. Zayn was turned to Liam with eyes that Liam never ever seen from Zayn, his face was straight serious and his eyes was bloody cold and said,

“You shouldn’t even do this from the start, Liam. You shouldn’t have to take that job. You shouldn’t—” Zayn was turning around again and facing the wall behind him and his back facing Liam when his words stopped. Liam looked at Zayn, too fragile to even speak a word out just because the loud of Zayn’s voice before sounded like still echoing inside his room and ringing there in his ears. In a minute Zayn was turned around again and continued talking, “You shouldn’t even fucking exist in my life.” As that, Zayn was giving Liam the hard stare before walking off from Liam’s room.

Liam was looking right to the door as Zayn walked out from it and the loud bang sounds and as that Liam thought, he never would feel the same again. His heart, Liam would never felt his heart anymore.

~~~

It was early morning when Liam was standing in front of his house, with two suitcases laid down on the road and Niall’s car parked next to them. Liam’s mom was talking about how to keep his health, his money and all when Liam was back to dorm. Niall was bringing the suitcases to the inside of the car as Liam was hugging his mom for the last time before they were going.

“Liam, don’t forget to call your dad after you arrived in your dorm.”

“All right, mom. I have to go now.”

Liam’s mom patted his cheek before said, “okay dear.”

Liam walked to the car and soon the car was running on the road.

The sky was still red and dark blue with a little orange on the horizon, where the air was freshly cold, messier their hair and their skins. The instrument was playing softly inside the car and Niall’s voice hummed the melodic too, where Liam, Liam was just being Liam with his mind.

“Are you sure if I could stay in your home, Niall?”

Niall nodded first and said again to make sure Liam knew it, “Sure, Liam. I’m alone there anyway. Plus it is just fifteen minutes before campus.”

Liam nodded his agreement and missing inside the lullaby of the wind and the color of the sky.

~~~

Liam was never imagined if his life will turn like how it was right now; where he was dating Niall for two months now and still stay in his home as he saved his dorm’s payment in his account. Niall was kind man that Liam never known before. He was always there listening to whatever Liam said to him, no matter if it was about Zayn or not. And now, Liam was afraid if Niall was able to replace Zayn from his heart.

Liam was sitting in the backyard, in the double swings near a small lake behind Niall’s house. He was swinging slowly as his eyes watching the birds flying above the lake. Soon he felt hands hugged him from his behind and soft lips kissed his cheek.

“Afternoon, Babe.” Niall messed Liam’s hair as Liam sweetly chuckled.

“You are going home fast, no football’s meeting today?” Liam looked the behind and Niall gave a quick peck on his lips before walking to the empty swing beside him.

“No, we have tomorrow.” Niall swung his swing he was sat on but eyes still looking at Liam, “Something was wrong?”

Liam shook his head no and looking to the lake again. Liam wasn’t knew what was happen to him. He was getting everything now, boyfriend, and good grades at campus but he was still felling empty. Liam knew it wasn’t because of Zayn, because, because even Zayn’s face was a blurry picture inside his brain.

Niall was making a hum sound like a bee and said, “What if we are going somewhere tonight?”

Liam looked at Niall curious, “Where?”

“What about dinner, pub and dance?”

Liam was laughing now, just because Niall was cute when he was trying to make Liam feel good again. Liam nodded after that and Niall hugged him before ran inside the home for taking bath and got ready.

~~~

The night was going so well and romantic this far for Liam; fancy restaurant, nice foods, calming music and all. Niall was stopping his car in the front of small pub which the only light came from the street light in front of it.

“I couldn’t stay so long, Ni. I have class tomorrow” Liam said as he walked out from the car, hand in hand walking with Niall to the inside of the pub.

“All right, babe. Just several songs and we’re going home after that.”

They got inside and Liam was felt so full with smokes and alcohol’s scents. The music was playing around him, too loud for Liam’s silent soul. Niall whispered to Liam if he was going to buy him a drink and Liam was staying on his position, looking around him. Some people were dancing; dry humping or whatever they did there where Liam just walked passed them.

Liam wasn’t sure if it was real or not when he met with a pair of eyes. Eyes that tricking his mind since the first time Liam saw them, and still until now. Eyes that showing Liam if dreams weren’t always happy. Those eyes which were Liam missed the most.

But the different was, those eyes weren’t looked at him, weren’t shining because of Liam, weren’t mean for Liam. Liam was trying to walk closer to that man, even so many shoulders hit him, and Liam walked still. He was stopping not so far from the man that hugged another man.

“Zayn?” Liam said silently and felt stupid after that. How a guy in front of him could heard it between the loud beat of the music inside that pub. Liam felt his lower lip shaking, as he kept calling Zayn when the figure not even realized if someone was talking to him instead of the man in his arms. It was like calling Zayn inside his dream, where Zayn was keep walking away and away.

Eight months and Zayn was still able to make his heart warm.

Liam tapped the man’s shoulder and the figure was turning around to face him.

Liam could see the surprised on his eyes when the spotlights hit his face and Liam swore he want to kiss him so deeply.

“Do you know him, Zayn?” the man between Zayn’s arms looking at Liam too, where Zayn was still silent, looking at Liam liked him was losing his words.

Zayn was letting his hands fell to his sides again from around that man as he walked toward Liam with disbelieve eyes. Liam was closing his eyes when he felt a warm palm caressing his cheek, a bit shaking but firm moving.

“What are you doing here, Liam?” Zayn’s brows were knotting together as he stared at Liam’s watery eyes. Liam was shaking his head but Zayn kept begged Liam to answer him. Zayn was letting his forehead rest on Liam’s as their nose meet each other and Zayn said, “I missed you so much, Liam.” Then Zayn was thumbed the single tears that fell down Liam’s cheek.

“Liam?” Niall’s voice was loud, broke their moment as Zayn’s eyes moved to Niall’s.

“Who the fuck you are?”

“Liam, come on. Let’s go home.” Niall came from his back, his arm around Liam’s waist as he pulled Liam away from Zayn softly. But before Liam could turn around, another hard grip held Liam’s arm and pulled him a bit away from Niall.

“Liam, who the fuck he is?” Zayn hissed as his eyes pierced with Liam’s, hurt and hate appeared there. Before Liam could answer him, Niall put his hand on Zayn’s chest and pushed him to the back.

“Excuse me; I though you didn’t know him before. If you finish here, we want to leave.”

As that Zayn pushed Niall backward, Niall stumbled to stand still, “I warn you, don’t fucking touch my boy—Liam.”

Niall ran his fingers on his hair and said, “I would do whatever I want.”

Liam tried to stop Zayn by grabbing his elbow, “Zayn stop!”

But Zayn just grabbed Niall’s front shirt and said, “Try me, bastard.”

Liam shook Zayn's arm and said loudly, “Stop, stop. Zayn—I said stop!”

Zayn looked to Liam, as long as he want to angry at Liam, all of that was vanishing when he looked straight to the warm place Zayn always find inside his eyes and long time he was searching at those places again. Tonight he wasn’t going to lose them.

But Liam was telling him otherwise.

“Zayn, I—I’m sorry, I can’t”

Zayn was grabbing Liam’s cheeks with both hands and shook his head and said in hush tone, “No, you’re not going to leave me again, Liam, you can’t do that.”

Liam shook his head, “You want it at the first place.” Liam pushed Zayn’s hands and moved backward, let Niall tugged him away from Zayn.

Zayn watched Liam walked away, tugged by that man. Like how was his mom at that night. And he was in tears, just like now. He felt his everything fell apart. And he could only stay there, his body in the middle of the man arms which encircling him.

~~~

Zayn was sitting on the floor inside the empty house. there was a dead body laid in front of him; his abdomen was still bleeding from twice deep stabs Zayn gave to him before. Zayn was breaking his jaw too because he wasn't stop talking bad about Liam on their way to his house. Zayn could swear, he would never kill someone as passionately as today until Zayn couldn't even recognize the shape of the man's face again. Hate feeling that Liam gave to Zayn was making Zayn easier to do his job. If only Liam knew what Zayn did for his life, he would not leave Zayn, or he would, maybe?

But Zayn was already make a promise to himself, anything, he would do anything to make Liam coming back to him. Soon, Zayn was going to do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how was it again? :)) xx


	14. Fourteen

Liam was walking through the dark alley which was behind some of closed stores. It was 8 p.m. when Liam was already inside the book store, looking around some books in the racks under ‘History’ tag. That book store was not really big, just small room but filled with a lot of racks of books here and there, the floor was made from wood that was comfy and clean if you wanted to sit down while reading at the book, that’s why you have to leave your shoes in shoes’ racks when you got inside. The gold colored lamps hung down from the room’s ceiling, made the room looked warmer. The visitors of that store were only like five people; one of them was sitting beside the wall sized window, wearing earphone while writing down something on his notebook, and the other were walking around, looking for whatever they needed and the woman with dark brown hair was busy reading a book behind the cashier.

Liam finally took some books from the different racks and brought them to the cashier, paid them and walked out from the store as the bell ringing following his movement out from the front door.

Liam was walking through the previous dark alley toward the main street. The air that time wasn’t cold but it was enough to make Liam’s body shaking a bit. When he was reaching the main street, Liam walked to the side of the road, waiting for Niall

The street that time was nearly empty, just some elder couples walking passed Liam and some cars running fast in the street in front of him. There was only a sleek black Ford car which parked across from where Liam was standing right now.

Liam looked down to his vibrating phone that he was grabbing before, and found out a message from Niall who telling him he was on his way to Liam. Liam put his phone back to his jeans’ pocket.

Liam was looking to his left and right side and found nothing was interesting unless a black car across him. Liam didn’t want to look strange and he was trying to focus to other things but the car as he was looking to the end of the street. But surprisingly, his eyes always found their way to look back to the car.

Not so long after that, Liam could hear the engine of the car’s sounds. Liam was feeling weird; maybe he or she was afraid at Liam who kept looking to their car’s direction.

But, before Liam could blame himself more and more, Liam saw from far that the car turned around and run back to Liam’s direction. Liam wasn’t afraid, but his heart beat told different story. The car was getting closer and closer to Liam as the speed of the car slower when he was closer, until finally it was stop not so far from Liam. Liam was trying to focus his mind on his shoes but his eyes couldn’t stop looking to the car’s direction from the corner of his eyes. Liam kept wondering, where the hell was Niall right now.

Liam felt someone patted his shoulder and Liam let out squeaky surprised voice but sighed calm when he saw if it was Niall who patted him.

“Liam, I called you from there, but you don’t answer me,” Niall patted Liam’s cheek and looked more into his eyes with his concern eyes, “You okay, babe?” Liam looked to his back, and surprised if the car was still parked there, in the same spot as before Niall was came. Liam looked back to Niall who had this not sure expression, looking right at Liam.

“I’m fine, yeah. Can we go home? I mean now?”

Niall looked like he wanted to ask more but he just kept nodded and Liam tugged him to his car that parked in the opposite side from the strange car.

The car was running on the road but both Liam and Niall were silent. But it wasn’t staying longer until Liam was the one who broke it.

“I will sleep in dorm tonight.”

Niall slower the car, so he able to look at Liam and didn’t put their life in danger too, “Why?”

“Some papers for tomorrow, I need to finish them soon.”

“I could help you.”

Liam chuckled before said, “You know, you will make it worse.”

Niall smirked as he drove the car to another direction, away from his own street as he caressed Liam cheek.

~~~

Zayn pushed the door that led him to the inside of small pub that the light which on in the front of the door was written ‘closed’, where the lamp with open signed already turned off. From the time Zayn opened the door, he could hear clearly some of men laughing and chattering from the room. Zayn kept walking to the inside of the dark room, passed some of the tables and chairs that already arranged, the only light came from a small lamp that hung down above a rounded table which the men sat. Zayn was standing there, until one of them looked to Zayn and immediately stopped laughing. Some of them realized it and looked to his silent friend and following his gaze, until everybody’s attention were on Zayn right now. Zayn was stand still, with his hard face, that his eyes still covered by the dark of the room.

“Where is Thomas?” Zayn asked silently.

They were scrambling to search the man that Zayn was mentioned, made them all looked messed. Soon, one of them called the name and the figure with long black curly hair that tied in the small bun, with apron around his waist walked out from the other room that had a light brighter than this room. The man looked confused with raised brows and his crinkles made him looked older than he already was, looking at his silent friends and finally realized if Zayn stood there, and surprised after that.

“Zayn?”He asked not sure.

“Can we talk?”

Zayn saw him nodded and signed Zayn to follow him to the room he was came before. Once Zayn got inside, he walked to the small sofa in front of a desk. The man filled a small glass with drink and brought it to the table as he was sitting down.

“You looked thinner.”He took a small gulp in his drink, eyes still glued with Zayn.

Zayn just shrugged and shifted on his seat, said, “I’m stressed.”

He lowly chuckled, “So, that’s why you came here?”

Zayn sighed, “You are cleverer than that, Thomas.”

That older man continued laughing and said, “I imported some wines from German and they’re arrived here this morning, I would—“He lower his sound and finally he stopped talking, even Zayn wasn’t do or say anything to stop him. The man shook his head and he then looked back to the pair of eyes that looking at him still as he sighed, “I don’t have any idea why you are here.”

“Remember that time I used to call you Uncle Tom?”

Thomas, this man was Zayn’s father’s old friend and Zayn was used to stay with him when his father was busy in other town. He was the one who promised Zayn if Zayn could call him father or even move in to his house when his father was passed away. Zayn was crying inside his arms as he kept saying if he wasn’t ever left Zayn alone. And now, he wasn’t. Even he knew what Zayn did was wrong, he kept supporting Zayn.

He looked puzzled for a moment before sighed, “What kind of help do you need, Zayn?”

Zayn put out a piece of picture from his pocket, “Find him.”

“Zayn, I wouldn’t care if polices take me with them because me and my friends hiding your identity for a long time, but trust me, that time I told you I didn’t want to involve in any of your crimes, I meant it.”

Zayn just blinked, like the words of the man didn’t affect him and said, “It isn’t one of your businesses.”

The man shook his head again and stood up, “Zayn,”

Zayn ran his tongue along his upper teeth before said in firm tone, “Find him, for me. And I pay you and your friend good damn money.”

He sighed as he fell to his chair, handling Zayn was never a simple job. Thomas knew, Zayn was a strong boy, even since the first time his parents were passed away. Zayn was quite a good learner and he never gave up easily to something he was dying to get.

“So, it is a deal?”

“I need to talk about this to my friends again—“

Zayn dryly chuckled as he drummed his fingers on the table, “That isn’t an answer.”

Thomas was standing from his seat and sighed as he waved his hand on the air, “Follow me,”

Zayn was walking out from his office, back to the big room occupied by the big men before. They got silent again as the two of men walked there.

Thomas whispered something to them about and they nodded along after that.

“Okay, it’s a deal.”

“Here are some addresses he always seen these past days.” He took it from Zayn, but Zayn held the paper still so the man attention draws back to him from the paper,

“Remember this, no damage on him. He was mine. If I found any on his skin, I wouldn’t think twice to dig a hole in your throat with a spoon, one by one. Tomorrow at noon, I want him already tied on the chair and blindfolded inside a room that I will leave tomorrow with opened door. My house, you still remember where was my old house are, right Uncle Tom?”Zayn purred the last words as the man nodded without hesitated.

“Then do it.”

The man nodded again.

“Is it already clear?”Zayn asked lowly and all of them nodded.

As that Zayn walked out from the pub and left them behind with their low snickers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter so damn short, I'm so sorry. I promise next chapter I will do my best, my time wasn't right and my days too :(  
> if you want to talk to me, you can dm or mention me yeah? twitter.com/foolishpow :)  
> about the next chapter, I need time for writing them, because i don't want them to end up like this one. if you have question, you could ask me from my twitter. have a nice day reading this yeah? :)


	15. Fifteen

“Liam,”

Liam just huffed and unfolded the man’s arms around him as he continued to dance after it. But soon the arms were back around Liam’s wrist again as a face nuzzled on the crook of Liam’s neck and the boy’s hips moving in sync with Liam’s to the pounding of the music, to the chatters of people around them, to the rush inside their blood. _Is this boy always gets this annoyed when he is drunk?_

“Niall, go away.” Liam sneered.

“I can’t babe, I’m too horn—“Niall gasped and paused just because Liam grinded his ass towards him before Niall could say again with throaty voice, “oh god, can’t we just get back to my place, Liam?”

Liam now pushed Niall’s arms from his waist and turned to the guy behind him, “I’m not having fun yet.” And he pouted.

“Yeah, that lips,” Niall walked closer and pulled Liam to him by the waist, chests were meeting, “ _that lips would fit properly down here.”_

Liam just sighed tiredly when he could feel Niall’s palm on the front of his now thigh jeans and said, “Come on, Liam. Home. Right. Now.”

They were walking pass the crowds, Niall the one who led Liam the way out, hand in hand. Now they were already outside the house. Both stumbling when they were walking, not because the drinks but because Niall tried to kiss Liam and groping at his ass in the same time.

“Niall—at least we—make it until inside—the—car— _oh_ you bastard.” Liam snapped lowly.

Niall was chuckling now as walked Liam backward, “The car is over there.” As he kept kissing Liam and his hand ran up and down Liam’s back through his strips white shirt. Liam’s feet hit the front of the car; he turned around to see if it was Niall’s car. But when Liam able to free his chin from Niall’s grip, he looked around and found it was black colored Toyota car with sleek black window, but Liam could figure if there was someone who sat on the driver seat, probably looking right at them, at them _making out._ Liam just hissed and pushed Niall a bit to gain his attention,

“It isn’t your car, Ni. _Damn._ ” And now Niall the one who hissed and eyeing the car behind Liam before and tugged him to the car on the Toyota car’s left.

As they were already inside, all Niall did was pushing Liam back against the closed door instead his seat, which made Liam hissed between the kiss. He really hated this blonde idiot, in the same times he wanted to marry him.

They kept kissing until Niall’s lips moved to his jaw and now on his neck, creating a mark. Liam’s eyes are open now. Just suddenly Liam felt like being watched from the car next to their car. Liam couldn’t see anything from the black glass window, but Liam sure; someone inside the car was looking at them. The thought about it spread an embarrass feeling around Liam’s cheek, made them turn reddish.

Liam tried to forget it, tried to focus his feeling on the way Niall creating spot, now on his collar bone. But every time Liam closed his eyes he felt uncomfortable. That man inside the car has been that kind of creeper or rapist if he kept looking at them making out.

But soon something surprised Liam more, when two girls walked out from the house and got inside the car, along with two boys, and one of them entering the driver’s door. _So probably no one was inside the car before, eh?_

_But Liam could swear he saw a figure sat on the driver seat._

Liam just sat stiffly on his seat, Niall finally realized it and paused on his way to unlock Liam’s jeans, “Babe, you are okay? You—shit, Liam, you’re pale!” and Niall now turned to normal Niall like Liam used to know; hyper, too kind, too happy, too worried.

“I’m fine, Ni. Just take—take me back to my dorm, could you?”

“You sure not want to stay the night at mine?”

“I’m fine. I have class at 8 tomorrow.”

Niall sighed and nodded, “Okay.”He pulled the car away from the house.

Niall drove Liam until his dorm. Liam kissed him goodbye before got inside the house.

~~~

It was noon when Liam finished his classes and walked toward the front gate of his college. Niall was already waiting for him, parked his car not so far from the gate.

Liam ran to the car and got in. Niall was looked fucked there; eyes tiredly red, his blonde hair jumbled to every direction, he wore loose grey shirt and a pair of loose jeans.

Liam grimaced and said, “Niall, you look—“

“Fucked, I know.”

Liam laughed but Niall just hissed as he held his head with both of hands. Liam bended so his face was close to Niall as his thumbs caressing Niall’s pale cheeks, made them a bit redder.

“You looked so tired, what if we buy coffee and sit in the park until night? Talking, or at least, let me cure you.” Liam whispered and he kissed Niall’s cheek twice and his nose and his chin and a bit longer on his lips.

“All right, good idea.” Niall pulled the car from the front of their college and started driving toward the café.

Fifteen minutes and they arrived in front of the small café with so many cars parked on the front of it. Liam was unlocked his seatbelt and on his way to pushed the door open, but Niall stopped him.

“It’s okay, babe. I will buy it for you. You’re already tired from your classes.”

Liam nodded as he watched Niall walked inside that building with fond eyes, he never stop taking care of Liam even he wasn’t feel good.

Liam turned the radio and soon the soft music played lowly inside the car, his attention was in everything in the front of the car when the music start filling the space. There was this car and someone was stood on its side, looking down to his phone. He was stole some glances to Liam’s direction, Liam could see he somehow smiled and glanced again to Liam. But Liam was just silent, pretending he didn’t know it, looking to the front glassy door of the café, no sign of Niall coming yet.

Liam just hummed along to the song, trying to clearing his mind, before some knocked on the window’s car beside him pulling his attention. There was a man who stood near his car before, that looking inside the car and pointed to his watch around his wrist. Liam glanced to the front door of the café. Nobody was coming out from it, made him worried a bit. Liam raised both his brows toward the man. But the man just kept signaling Liam to open the door.

What the fuck with this man, Liam didn’t even see him coming closer before.

With aloud thumps of his heart inside his chest and a sweaty palm that he dried on his jeans, Liam sighed before open the door and walked out from the car.

“Can I help you, sir?” the guy’s eyes flicked to the far distance behind Liam and back to Liam’s eyes again.

“Yes, my clock. It doesn’t work.”

Liam hummed and then told him the time. Liam could see the expression on his face changed but something told him wrong, then the man clapped his hand after that and said,

“God, I’m so late. Could I borrow your phone? Just one text, to my wife.”

Liam nodded, took his phone that lay on the dashboard of the car, handed it to the man. The man took the phone and began to text. Liam sighed lowly and turned around, his back facing the man as Liam looking right to the front door of the café. Liam saw how the smirk played on that man’s face before, he just pulled a deep breath and hoped Niall could hurry. Liam felt a single tap on his shoulder and he was turning around. The man still smiling and handed Liam his phone back. Soon a middle aged woman ran toward them from another side of the parking lot, curly blonde hair looked nice on her tanned skin. The woman came toward the man, Liam could see that woman was telling that man how long she had waited for him and the man just apologized to her, again and again. Both of them walking to the direction that the woman coming from before, leaving Liam with disappointed face and without no thanks, as soon as Niall was walking out from the front door of the café, both hand handling two plastic cup of coffee and looked so messed because of his headache. He surprised when he found out Liam was standing outside of the car.

“Babe, you okay?”

Liam nodded and smiled, taking his cup of coffee from Niall and both of them got inside the car.

Liam was feeling so stupid and miserable. How could he was thinking bad about that man before, just because that man looked like that bad kind of man. The rest of that afternoon Liam just thinking about anything that keeping his mind busy when Niall in the other hand telling him about how he called Louis last night but Harry was the one who answered the phone, then moaned because of his head kept hurting him. But Liam, Liam wasn’t even saying anything, just his mind skipping all noises unless someone that talking inside his head.

~~~

Today was the last day of his college before the final examination for this semester. They had several weeks holiday before it. Time was passed him so perfectly fast and secretly changed one by one’s self, especially Liam. Liam saw how Louis and Harry became closer and closer every time. It wasn’t something new for Liam to find Harry was accompanying Louis having lunch in their campus’ cafeteria. Even so many girls came to meet Louis, asking who was the man he was sitting with the next day, Louis just shrugged and didn’t really answering them. But in the end, Louis was the one who talk much about how lucky he was for getting Harry in his life, and all of that ending with he apologized to Liam if he didn’t mean to hurt him or even reminded Liam with the man he used to love before.

It was surprised Liam too how carrying Harry toward him. Even Harry wasn’t talk much to Niall, at least, Harry was the one who supported Liam relationship now, and he wasn’t ever mentioned Zayn anymore. Knowing it would be useless.

But Liam wasn’t going to lie, he missed that spicy mixed with apple scene around him or even lingered on his sweater. How that long fingers ran in his curly brown hair softly, like he was afraid to hurt Liam. The way his eyes penetrated to his eyes, saw every guilty that Liam had, without Liam telling it to him, and took them with him. He missed the first time he said he loved Liam, even the first time he was coming to the café, Liam was still clearly remembered it.

Sometimes Liam thought, maybe Zayn had hurt him so damn deep until the scars he left inside Liam’s heart couldn’t cure anymore, even though maybe one day Liam found the best man for him, that man wasn’t going to make Liam forgot about Zayn.

Because he knew, there was one day when the feeling of missing someone was more hurt than the day you lose them. And Liam still felt it.

Liam was already inside Niall’s car now; bags on the backseat of the car and the car was running on the wet road and heavy rain outside.

Both of them already planned for one week holiday away from their city and Niall promised to Liam if this town was going to be more interesting and calm than their town. Louis and Harry were on their way to Louis’ grandmother’s house in London now.

Liam stared to the road in front of them, how the window blurry and the dark outside hiding the color of that evening into gray color. Niall was singing along with the song that played on the radio and Liam helped a bit when he was messed the lyrics, which Niall yelled and told Liam if he was the one who messed it and they both go along with that until Liam forgot about the thought that silent him before.

After five hours in the road, they finally arrived on the town that Niall talked before. The passed the welcoming signs and the car ran with high speed in the road in the middle of the houses and Empty Street.

_Bradford_ , Liam never heard about it before.

“We arrive! Wow!” Niall jumped out from the car with a bright smile Liam recognized the moment after Liam hopped out from the car too.

“Alright babe” Liam just sighed and picked his bags and brought it to the inside of the house.

It was quiet a lovely small home to spend his one week holidays; two bedrooms, small kitchen, a TV, a small pond in the back of the house along with a small bench. Liam already could imagine he spent his afternoon in there. Liam sat on the bench and pulled out his phone from his jogger’s pocket and took some pictures of that pond, sent one to Louis, probably want to ruin his week with Harry in London, in Louis’ grandmother’s house. Liam huffed after he clicked the sent button and pocketed his phone again and let another heavy sighed out from his mouth, just because.

From his position, Liam could hear Niall singing with a song that came from the old music box inside the house, probably unpacking their things and cleaning a bit. Liam was staring at the pond and how birds were flying above it. This moment was so lovely.

Liam closed his eyes, enjoying the chilly air that washing him, hitting the leaves on the trees; let grumble sounds filled the space around Liam. His brain played a soft instrument sound inside his head as he tried to relax his body. It was a sudden when he opened his eyes instead and looked around, but there was no one, nothing.

He closed his eyes again, but this time his heart was beating rapidly. He opened his eyes again and looked around again, there was still nothing, just a house next to the house he was going to stay in, Niall was moving around the house, Liam could see it through the opened window, and the bird chirping. Just it.

Liam was turning around, walked to the direction of the back door, and that voice was coming again.

It was someone’s voice, sounded afraid and wounded.

Liam was running to the inside of the house now. Something was wrong; someone was hurt somewhere near them. Liam pushed the door opened, made Niall surprised and let his phone fell to the floor.

“Shit—Liam, babe, you okay?” Niall was running to that pale faced man.

“I—someone is here.”

Niall stopped his hand on Liam’s cheek, “What do you mean?”

“I heard someone’s voice before when I sat on the bench. We have to check it.”

“Liam, we’re stay in not so crowded place. In here, people are a bit private than in your small town. We are better not disturbing them.”

“What if—what if someone is hurt?”

“Liam, what’s wrong with you?” Niall grimaced and whispered to Liam, rest both their forehead together. But Liam just shook his head. No, why Niall should never believed something like this, when Liam could clearly hear it before.

“We have to check—“

“No! I said no, Liam. We are not going to check anything, and you, you are not going anywhere tonight.”

Liam pushed Niall away and walked upstairs, to his room and locked it. He walked to the closed window and peering from it. Niall was right, Liam couldn’t see someone stood in the outside of their house, nor someone walked on the street. Instead taking care about it, Liam headed to the bathroom and took a bath.

Liam was walking down the stair when Niall already sat on sofa in front of the TV. He walked straight to Niall and sat next to him. Liam was not sure if Niall was angry or not, but he forgot it when he felt an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to the older man. Niall snuggled his face to Liam’s neck.

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to shout at you.”

“I know. It was too stupid.”

Niall sighed, “…no, it wasn’t like that, Liam.” Niall moved so he could able to stare at Liam, “I don’t want you to think about anything that bad. We came here to spend our holiday, not by become paranoid over something, Liam.”

Liam wasn’t going to argue about it. Niall was right and this overwhelm feeling was enough consuming him alive. Liam wasn’t going to be worry about it anymore.

~~~

The morning was coming again. The chirping of the birds, the morning air singing a soft morning sounds, some people laughing from far and cars that honked, washed them with the joy of being somewhere far from home with their beloved man. At least, Liam was trying to love this moment. But his heart a bit bad liar, because it kept calling a wrong name, a name Liam shouldn’t remember again.

“Damn!” Niall slapped his forehead as another curse out from his mouth and he turned his back away from the refrigerator.

“What’s wrong, Ni?”

“I forgot to buy some bottles of milk and cheeses. Now, how we going to make breakfast!” both of Niall’s hand were on his waist, stood there in the middle of the room with face full of annoyance.

“I saw a minimarket not so far from here yesterday.” Liam said as he laid his back on the wall that separated the kitchen with the living room. Niall looked a bit calm and turned to Liam with weak smiled, “But I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Niall, please!” Liam groaned but the blonde just laughing and handed Liam his wallet.

“Then, could you do me a favor?”

“You are Lazy ass!”

Liam was walking out from the home as the laugh of that blonde man still heard, listen to it made Liam mad the more.

It was ten in the morning when Liam was walking back from the minimarket now, the plastic bags filled with instant foods and others were held by both his hand. The sky wasn’t bright, even Liam could see the light of the sun that covered by the thick clouds from there, trying to penetrate through that cloud and maybe that’s how the weathers around here were going.

Liam was walking, passed some kids playing in front of the closed stores and his eyes glanced at his phone, looking at the picture of the map from market to their rent house, that Niall’s drew alone and sent it to Liam a moment later. For the first time, Liam thought he did that in purpose to make a fun at Liam, but after Liam was out from that market and his mind start tricking him, until all the roads from both sides looked so familiar, and there, Liam knew that shitty drawing was useful.

Liam was turned to the small alley, Niall wrote something like that on that paper that he drawn, Liam thought. But he was wrong, Liam thought again. Because when Liam arrived in the end of the alley, he was nowhere familiar. No brown fence, big houses in front of their rented house, or even Niall’s black car that parked outside the home. There were all same big house with white fences; same shapes that Liam thought maybe his mind and eyes were tricking him again now.

Liam cursed the air, he started feeling the worry climbed up through the spine on his back. He looked to the sides, back and forth but he got more confused than before. He kept walking as he scroll numbers inside his phone and clicked Niall. There was no signal, and Liam cursed even more. What kind of place it is.

Liam was ready to cry when he saw a jeep from far came and he was jumped, hiding behind bushes next to him. Which he held his laugh the next, why the fuck he did it?

But all his humor died when he peeked from the holes in the bushes that some people out form the car, bringing something inside a sack that moving to every direction, and looked like they hard to hold it stay.

Liam saw they got inside the house and a moment later, the four of them running from the house and the car was moving away from the house.

Liam wasn’t sure about thing he would do after this; the street was so empty, no body walking around here. Liam texting Niall; sent the picture of the street he was in right now and closed his phone after that. At least he was already told Niall where exactly he was. And he didn’t care when Niall would read it.

Liam knew he wasn’t having right to do it, but his impatient self forced him to check whatever happened inside that house. Because the silent around him tortured him more than his condition now; lost and needed Niall the most.

Liam made sure nobody was around before running, trying to make no sound, toward the house. Liam was walking to the behind of the house. He peered from the edge of the wall, and nobody was there. So he walked toward the back door instead.

The house was small with two front window, just that. And bless Liam with his stupid curious side.

Liam put his ear on the door, trying to hear if someone might be walking around inside. But he heard nothing, so he turned the door knob and pushed the door opened. Liam closed his eyes as he pushed the door open slowly, like he was ready to face whatever happened to him.

But like all bad things he thought before, nothing was happen to him until now.

Liam got inside and scanned the room. Nothing strange was there.

A light only came from a small lamp that hung down in the middle of the small room, left the other part of the house abandoned in the dark. There were only three doors there, so Liam thought to check one by one, because he was crazy and had nothing to do until Niall found him.

It was the first door that still opened that Liam walked to. The more he closed to it, the more Liam heard a sound like someone muffled and Liam peeked to the room with another neon lamp hung down in the middle of the room.

He was surprised a minute after he saw someone was blindfolded and tied on the wooden chair in the side of the room and an empty chair not far in front of him. Liam gulped as he felt a cold sweat falling down to his cheek from his forehead. Liam was trying to look around, but still nothing, only dark rooms.

_Maybe they left this person in here_. Liam had time to help him then.

Liam walked closer to the man that whimpered now. The voice he made was stabbing Liam’s heart. He must be so scared right now.

Liam bended down until his lips closer to the figure who was still wearing suit, “I’m going to help you. Please stay quite…” Liam whispered.

Liam saw the man nodded rapidly and another low muffled out, after that he was silent. Only the way both of the men breaths like a bomb inside the war, unconditionally.

That time when Liam’s hand was in its way to touch the blindfold, he heard someone chuckling lowly, right from his behind. And Liam was dead in his position, where his head kept telling him he was in danger.

“… Are you coming to watch the show?”

Liam gasped. He though instead of the words, he would get a stab on his back. But Liam turned around and facing his death. Liam was thinking it was big man with big muscles, but no, Liam was wrong again. The man a bit taller than Liam, with short spike hair and half of his face covered with handkerchief, Liam only could see his eyes, is that blue or gray eyes?

He was wearing black jacket, gray thin shirt under it, exposed some of his tattoos on his upper chest. He wore black gloves and looked right to Liam.

Liam was stayed silent.

The man walked closer, the way his feet moving was in the same beat as Liam’s heart, taking his breath away the closer he got. Liam didn’t want to die now.

“I’m so happy to know that I have a watcher today, for the first time in my life.” Liam kept his eyes on the man with mask; he kept walking and passing Liam. Liam then turned around, following the man, so he could able to see him more. Now he stood next to his victim, his thumb ran sweetly on the blindfolded man’s cheek and said again, “… or let me tell you exactly, I’m nervous.” He then chuckled lowly again, knowing Liam paid attention to him.

Liam was dragged his eyes to the floor. He could able seeing the man walking passed Liam again from the corner of his eyes. And soon, Liam could feel the warmth of someone’s breath on the spine behind his neck, and Liam’s heart didn’t know about what the meaning of calm anymore that moment. He wanted to run, but his feet glued to the floor.

Liam felt fingers ran down on his back, slowly dragged down in the way that made Liam shivered, “…What if we played a game, babe? I called it, ‘a dare’. This game is so simple, all you have to do is, watch me doing my job and you try your hardest not to scream, especially calling help. If you win this game, I will let you go. But if you lose,” the man was paused, Liam felt a thumb traced the spine on his neck again, where the life was beating, and he continued,

“You have to let me do whatever I want to you…” The figure was walking to Liam’s front now, his eyes looked crinkles, like he was smiling but Liam wasn’t sure, he didn’t want to look at them too anyway.

Before Liam answered, the blindfolded man spoke up. _“You have to kill him! He was trying to escape me before! You aren’t fair, just take him as you victim and let me go—”_ the man was silent with a crack sound of his cheek bone following behind. The man didn’t pay any attention to the blindfolded man that now whimpering loudly. Liam’ eyes still on the floor when the man asked him again.

“So, you are in?”

And something inside Liam wondered, what would happen after this, so he said, “Yes…”

Liam saw the man tipped his head to the side and nodded after that. He put his hand on Liam’s shoulder, moved it down softly, to his elbow, arm, and finally stopped on Liam’s palm and grabbed him, not tight but sure, pulled Liam from his position to the wooden chair across from the man that tied and blindfolded. Liam was wondering, why this man even wearing the mask if the one he was going to kill couldn’t able to look at him.

He pushed Liam down to the chair. Once Liam sat on the chair, the man walked away from him, to the space behind Liam’s chair, soon his hand was running on Liam’s chest from behind, guide him to rest his back on the chair and relax.

“You have to enjoy this show, babe. Because, maybe it was going to be the last show you watched…”He said it silently, like a slow but sweet lullaby that carry you to your deep sleep without knowing if you would be able to wake up or not again the next day.

Liam closed his eyes tight, trying to calm his nerves. He was going to finish it; he was going to leave this place too.

The man with mask walked to his victim, caressed his cheek, with his hand that covered with gloves, through the whimper and shouted at him. But he kept caressing his cheek.

_“You fucking bastard, I dare you to fucking let me go! I’m not going to die; my men will find this place soon and kill you!”_

The man walked to the small table in the corner and took a small knife from the drawer. He ran his finger on that steel as he walked closer to the blindfolded man. The man kept saying bad words, like how his men going to kill him, but like talking with a wall, the man just stay silent and Liam too, only his heartbeat went wide and strong every ticking of the time on the wall.

Soon the bad words turned into pained scream that made Liam dragged his eyes from floor to the man and saw, how the blood running down from a single line wound that the man drawn before. Liam closed his eyes tight, it was like watching horror movie, but this one you could touch the blood that already painted the floor under the man’s feet.

“…Are you going to kill him?”

The man stopped his hand that already rose near the blindfolded man’s cheek, probably on his way to create another wound, but he turned around to look at Liam instead. He nodded and walked closer to Liam and stood behind his back. Liam felt he bent down his body as a warm breath felt near Liam’s right ear.

“…Yes. You want to try a stab? I could guide you to aim at his heart. The blood looked more beautiful from a heart, darker and _crimson_ …”the man put the knife between Liam’s fingers, he held Liam’s wrist and pulled it up, like he wanted to show Liam, where was the heart exactly.

_“n-no, p-please…. Someone help me! Help!”_ the blindfolded man now scream messily, he already could imagine what would happen to him. Liam was taken at how the screams from the man pulled Liam to something that tickled his belly, made Liam forgot about anything.

“…I asked you,” the man spoke again, this time more firm but still lowly.

Liam shook his head, “No, thanks, I will just watch.”

Liam heard him chuckle and he stood in front of Liam again. He ran his bloody palms to Liam’s cheek, and thumbing his lower lips. Liam just silent, looked to the man’s eyes, not even pulled his head away, even the sting smell of the blood hurt his head already now.

The man moved forward, until they’re face to face, and spoke again, “…you look good in red.”

Liam laughed silently and turned his head to the side, not wanting to see the man’s eyes getting darken, “you don’t know me.”

The man chuckled again, “I do know you, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.” Liam glared at him as the man stood up and turned his back at him. But he stopped a moment then turned around again. The man bend his body again and stared at Liam in the eyes longingly, face inches away and their breath mixed; smoke, alcohol, mint and desire and the man said, “you want to know who I am?”

Liam inhaled his breath deeply as he closed his eyes, and said, “Yes.”

“But, it will change everything that you already knew.” He caressed Liam’s cheek with his still bloody hand, and Liam just shook his head.

“I don’t care.”

The man stayed still on his position, but Liam felt if his face and the man’s face that covered with mask pulled each other close. In a moment Liam thought he would be kissed this psycho man as he closed both his eyes. But it was before the loud knocks on the front door, along with Liam’s name being called.

It was Niall. And Liam wasn’t even remembered him since a moment ago he arrived here.

“Your boyfriend is here.” The man said, but still not moving, eyes looking right to Liam’s eyes, down to his lips and back to his eyes. But a minute later he sighed and backed, “Why are you still here? You win the game anyway.”

“You’re not killing that man yet.” Liam answered.

There was an amused inside his tone, “So you want to see the rest of the show?” he bitterly laughing but soon his tone was changed hard and cold as he stood up again, taking a good look at Liam, “you better left this place before I changed my mind.”

“No.”

Another loud knocks but the man stayed calm and folded his arms in front of his chest, looked right to Liam, “…so what should I say to your tinny boyfriend?”

“Just tell him I’m not here.”

_What were you talking about, Liam?_

This time the man was laughing loud, but it sound mocked to Liam’s ears, “Aw, what’s make you want to stay here, little lamb? Trying to dig your own grave?”

Liam was just silent and looked to the floor. It took a minute and the man finally walked to the outside of the room, and to the front door, Liam guessed, because he heard the creak sound from the door and a man’s voice talking in silent way. Liam couldn’t hear it clearly, but soon the sound of door being closed was heard again. And the man walked to the inside of the room again as he hummed a melodic of the random song. Liam wasn’t daring to drag his eyes far just to look at the wounded body that panting hardly in front of him.

“So you want to know who I am.”

The man walked to the front of Liam and kneeling down there. Liam looked down at him as he moved his face, until his face hovering Liam’s and made Liam close his eyes, “…then open my mask,”

Liam opened his eyes to be meeting with a pair of light blue eyes, which soon closed slowly when both of Liam’s hand held his face. He was kneeling in front of Liam still, not backing when Liam caressing the skin that covered still, so Liam pulled slowly his face covered, and Liam could see his nose, and lips and the face covered now hanging on the man’s neck.

Who was he?

The man had beard and his skin paler than Liam, even Niall. Something inside Liam told him he knew him, but in the same times, Liam didn’t believe his heart again. Soon the pair of eyes opened and Liam saw them.

Liam saw the packs of dreams he tried to bury long time ago. He felt the warmth he needed the most since he loose someone he love the most. Those eyes looked familiar, yet in the same times, they brought Liam to the far place where Liam could be lost.

Liam wasn’t sure; he could hardly thinking as the man’s face moved closer to Liam with eyes that still pulling Liam’s soul out from his body. Liam closed his eyes when that time he felt the breath of the man tickling his lips, and he said something he wasn’t sure for the first time, out from his lips.

“Zayn…”

Liam heard the man grunted lowly and said in husky voice, “ _Hello, Liam. It is nice to be able to meet you again_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed it still :)


	16. Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter could satisfy you enough :') sorry for long update and thanks a lot if you guys still have time to read this one xx

“Zayn?”

Liam’s eyes bulged in horror way, that he couldn’t believe what he had seen. He was on his way to pull his hands from the man’s face but a pair of hands grabbed his wrists again and pulled the hands back to the man’s cheeks as the man closed both his eyes and sighed. Liam watched him clung to the touch; tender and sweet, with a tear that peeking from the corner of his eyes.

“…am I that easy to forget, Liam?” his voice was silent, like a blurry of sadness he was afraid Liam found out.

Liam was keeping his mouth closed as he scanned the man’s face. Too much difference in there until not a single thing made him believe if that man was Zayn. What was wrong with his hair, eyes or why did he looked so pale and skinny? But maybe those questions weren’t as important as the one Liam was dying to know, did Zayn miss him like the way he did every night?

The man opened his eyes, dragged them from Liam’s lips, nose and his eyes, “… is that easier to forget the way I taste than remembered the hurt I gave to you?”

Without waiting for the next beat of his heart, Liam encircled his arms around Zayn’s neck and pulled the man’s face to his chest, hugged him tight in the way that making the man chuckling lowly in the end after he sighed comfily, “Damn, Liam. You’re still as stupid as that time you left me.”

“I’m not leaving you. It’s your want.” Liam murmured in Zayn’s hair.

“I don’t want it.”

“You let that woman asked me to leave you that time. You never tried a single thing to stop me.” Liam said silently. But maybe the words gave the different impact to Zayn. He stood from the floor he was kneeling before and raised both his hand, for a second Liam thought maybe he was going to be hit. But Zayn just sighed and again, he talked,

“Then look at all of this! Look at everything around you, Liam! How could I let you know what I did with my fucking life? You will—fuck, run from me. You’re the one who going to break up with me!”

Liam wasn’t daring to look around because, hell, Zayn was right. This place looked like room for slaughter than called a home. If Liam still got in touch with his sense a moment before, if his mind still working correctly from the first time he entered this room, he might be vomited, or screamed for help, of even not trying to get inside this building.

Zayn might knowing the changed in Liam’s face that made he chuckled and said, “So, why the fuck are you still here? Damn it.”

But Liam was stupid; like he already did, since the first time he met Zayn. Meeting Zayn changed his whole mind, the way he thought about something. It’s like, he was better with Zayn in the same time he was becoming the worse part of his life.

Both the men stayed silent, breathing, thinking, pretending, if the position they were in right now were the better place, than opening their mouths and started arguing. But maybe they needed it; they needed the pain more than a simple kiss that could sober them from the bad part of their relationship. They needed the pain to tell them the reality was here now.

The silent wasn’t staying longer until the blindfolded man was laughing, dragging both the loved men’s attention’s

“So you’re Zayn, huh? Is child from Malik family?”

Liam saw how the words taken something away from Zayn’s entire face. And a moment he hit the man’s jaw hard until the creaking sound followed behind, was the moment Liam sure if it was calm and kind that missed from his expression, which now looked hard, rough, and like someone that he wasn’t ever known before.

Instead of closing his mouth, the man chuckled again after the beat to his jaw and said, “Kid, you are made a good decision by leaving this fucking man. He will be the one who going to kill you like the way he did to all my friends. He is stupid.”

The tense on Zayn’s shoulders were visible as they moved up and down because Zayn’s breathing, like he was controlling his emotion. Like a big waves in the ocean, the man kept hitting Zayn’s patient spot.

“You are stupid, Zayn.” The man said again.

Zayn was silent and walked to the big window in the side of the room, the man felt he was win and he continued talking,

“Same like that fucking woman. He was used your father. And see, you believed her that time that she would raise you? She is a fucking liar. She is my sweet pussy slave! She did whatever I want, and that time your family’s richness is one of them.”

The painfully laughter filled the room, but nothing came out from Zayn’s mouth that parted in a single line, his eyes wondering out from a glassy window, like he was watching his fate destroyed him once again.

Once again the man said in his raspy voice, “You did fucking believe her, didn’t you?”

And once again, Zayn was stayed silent.

The man cleared his throat, “why silent? Felt like all your works are useless?” then he was laughing again and his last few words were the worse, even for Liam’s ear, “you’re the one who better to die!”

Liam saw if Zayn glanced at him but looked away in that time Liam looked at him. Zayn walked closer to the blindfolded man and pulled a small knife from his pocket and said in lowly tone, “… you’re the one who better to die.”

The man was laughing hard, thinking he was winning this competition. But he didn’t know if Zayn was raising his small knife, right above the man’s head. His hand stayed still, like he was letting the laugh of the man hurt him first and waiting for the right moment.

But it was happen in a second, the movement of his hand was like a lighting, as fast he stabbed the small knife to the man head, and in the same times he was stop laughing and then there where the blood started flooding out from his head that the knife still stuck there, fast and bold, _crimson_ and shiny.

Liam was closing his eyes tight, through the silent sobbing and chocked sound the man made, like he was begging for the death to come faster this time for him.

_Someone shouldn’t beg for their death._

The warms and wet thing running down from Liam’s cheeks; he was afraid, lost and where was his long loved man that he used to dream about, where was his Zayn? The one who warm, calm and loved Liam no matter what.

Blood, stinging smell, and red were everywhere, but Zayn was looked so calm between them; the calm wave in the ocean full of sharks. He was so beautiful in the middle of the messy life; the perfection in the way devil took someone’s life away.

“…run from me, Liam,” Liam was surprised when Zayn’s voice out as a begged.

Liam shook his head. _No_ , he wasn’t going to run.

He stood from the chair that held him since then, storming to Zayn that still held his head down. He ran his hands on Zayn’s neck and mumbling, _‘hush Zayn, please look at me’_ but Zayn shook his head no, as his body shook a little. Liam tried to make their face in a level but Zayn moved his head to the side, where Liam followed too until he filled the space and kiss him hard.

It was a painful kiss; tears, blood, hair grabbing as sobbed from each other’s mouth left and filled their ears.

“Zayn, look at me” Liam’s voice was shaking and croaked.

“I can’t do this, Liam.”

Liam sighed deeply and finally, finally he was giving up with his head, he wasn’t ready to lose him anymore. So he was going to tell him what he felt, even in the end, he wasn’t going to get the replay.

“Zayn…I love you.”

Zayn dragged his watery eyes to meet with Liam; it was the sadness that Liam found there. Zayn ran his bloody fingers on Liam’s lips as Liam’s eyes fluttering shut, “I love you, Liam. I have still loved you.” Zayn moved down and kiss the lips again, let his tongue met the wet thing inside Liam’s mouth that open obligated, let Zayn did whatever he wanted to him.

Zayn sighed as he deepen the kiss, let the feeling he buried for so long captured him, pulled him deepest to Liam’s sanity. He moved his lips to his jaw and down to the spot where his neck met his shoulder and sucked the skin there, he slowly bite down the skin and lick it and Liam just gasped and sighed and Zayn moved his head away.

“Do you believe me if I say I will never leave you?”

Liam kissed his nose and nodded, “then I want you to do something. I’m still not finished my job here.”

“I could help you bury the bodies, Zayn.” Liam was sure he would do anything to save him, but surprisingly, Zayn’s reaction was different. Zayn chuckled before kissed him hard again, until Liam was the one who pushed him a bit because he was breathless.

“Stupid, I won’t let you do what I did.”

“So?”

“I want you to go out from this house, walked as far as you can. But don’t you dare to look behind.”

Liam searched something inside his eyes, but he didn’t found it. “Why?”

“Just do it, Liam” Zayn’s hand felt back to his side.

“What about you?”

“I will follow you behind.”

“Will I see you again?”

Zayn’s smile grew wide. He pecked Liam’s cheek, moved to the side of Liam’s face and licked his ear, and whispered, “I will not let such a beauty thing like you own by other. You are mine, baby.” Zayn lick the nape oh his neck and squeezing his ass until Liam let a squeak sound and he chuckled, “now, go out Liam.”

Liam was kissing him again, which made Zayn chuckled, for so many times that day, but groaned after that, “Come on, Liam. I don’t want to blow you in this bloody floor.”

Liam was laughing as he ran out from the house.

He was running, it was half the street away but soon Liam heard a sound like exploding which made him stop. His heart was starting to race fast as something itchy climbed up from his stomach to his neck and chocked him silently. Liam looked around and saw the house burned and his heart stop.

_‘Zayn?’_

He felt his feet shaking uncontrollable as his heartbeat drumming his chest, like a chaos he was. His feet took him step by step, closer to the burned house. His watery eyes blurred his vision, made the red and black mixed into one color. From afar he could saw people started filled the front of the house, which made him sobbed silently as he walked closer.

Liam wanted to fell down on his knees and cried, what the fuck was happened to him. Did everything he see before was only a dream. Did Zayn only exist under his sober brain? Why the happiness felt so far and the pain were so real?

Liam was finally stopped behind some people that started talking with high voice, told the other to call the fireman and ambulance. And the next time was a blur show. A show that one day in the future would become a memory that Liam might fight to death to not remember it anymore.

The time Liam heard the sirens that came closer as the sound from them became louder and louder, the other just some screams from people told the officer to be faster before the fire burned the house to ashes, that time Liam was sure if the ground he has stood now was moving or even shaking, or maybe it was his feet that couldn’t support his body anymore.

There was a warm feeling that climbed up on his backbone as a calm voice greeted him, “Liam, you are okay?”

Liam’s eyes were roaming Niall’s face, to make sure it was truly him, or at least he was the only thing that real in this dream-like afternoon as he nodded slowly.

Niall nuzzled his face in the crook of Liam’s neck and whisper, “I’ve search you to every corner in this small city, I’m afraid something was happened then I heard some sirens and… you are here surprisingly.”

Liam could only nod again.

“I want to go back to Wolverhampton, Niall.” Niall raised both his brows as a light of disappointed flashed in his eyes for a second.

“And I mean today, right now.”

 

~~~

_“Today's news Reported from Bradford. This afternoon, there was a house burned up after exploding that is believed to belong to a family called Malik. This old house has long been abandoned by their owners, but residents were shocked because some officers found body of a man who had been burned and hard to identify. Police still suspect if the victim is a child of the family named Zayn Malik. The man residents last saw a few days ago was visiting the house. But police are still going to do an autopsy continued to assure the victims of the fire and the accident motive. I’m Thomas Adam, reported from the scene.”_

Liam held his breath until his throat felt as it was on fire. The news must be wrong, it might not happen, and Zayn had promised him.

  
"It is such a bad news." Liam heard Niall’s voice came from the kitchen, but he did not sound concerned over the news. It makes Liam frustrating and immediately went up to his room. He took the suitcase and pulled out all the clothes in the closet. He heard footsteps on the stairs and Niall then peek from the door, his arms folded across his chest.

“Can we stay, at least until morning come?”

“No, I couldn’t.” Liam answered not meeting his eyes as he busier himself folding the clothes.

“Liam, can you—“

Liam threw the last shirt to the inside of his luggage madly, the emotion was so clear and his shoulders were tense as he turned around and faced Niall. He tried to hold everything he wanted to say and gritted his teeth. He was silent but his eyes watching some expression changed in Niall’s face.

Niall sighed hard and pulled his phone from his pocket, trying to look fine as he typing something on his phone, “Louis said that he couldn’t reach your phone. They might hear about the news too,” Niall pulled his gaze back to Liam who still listened at him, “Liam, just say that you’re fine to Louis and done. He really missed you. I will be inside the car.” And then he pulled the door and closed it silently without a single look to Liam.

Liam took his phone from the table next to the bed and turned it on. He pulled his luggage and glance again to make sure there was nothing left behind and walked down the stairs. He sat on the sofa as he clicked Louis’ name and called him.

“Liam!” Liam was silent.

“I heard about what had happened. Are you okay? It was really surprised us, even Harry didn’t know if Zayn was there.”

“He was.”

“You say?”

“He was at that house.” Once again Liam said it lowly, like it was a secret he didn’t want anybody to know.

“… You met him?”

“I did.”

Liam heard Louis said ‘oh God’ loudly but away from the phone as a low voice from Harry said something unclearly and Louis sighed.

“Can we meet in the café today?”

“I… no, I will back to my home. Maybe Niall could, I don’t know.”

Louis was silent for the next second, but Liam was sure he was dying to ask Liam if he and Niall was okay but Louis was sure, in the other hand, Niall wasn’t the important part for this time.

“All right, call me again if you need something, yeah. Harry will help to find out, don’t worry about it, Liam. I will tell you the news as soon as I get it.”

“Thanks, Lou.”

Louis mumbled it’s okay and the phone was ended. Liam took his luggage and walked out from the house and to the inside the house. Niall was stood outside the car and walked back to the house, with a woman who owned the house. He looked apologized and the woman was smile warmly. The next minutes, the car was running on the road.

Liam was calling his parents, telling them if he was on his way to their home. But his parents told him if they were away until tomorrow and if Liam needed a key, it would be under a pot next to the glassy window.

It was an instant sleep he got, eliminated some of his thought when he closed both of his eyes and his brain took him to the place, the happy place he thought.

The car was stop in front of his house’s gate. Liam was on his way to open the door before a hand grabbed his arm and voice stopped him.

“Liam,”

“What?”

“Can you—I want you to not listen to that news. It isn’t right yet, no medical team confirmed it.”

“You know I couldn’t”

Niall sighed and let Liam’s arm free. He was looking to the outside of the car through the window. Liam said thanks and he mumbled his answer but his eyes weren’t meeting his. Outside the car, the rain was falling gently, like it was understood the sad that Liam felt.

Liam was walking to the front door now, not even turned around to see Niall drove away.

He was not sure, even for his own feeling. It wasn’t because he hated Niall, but, he was afraid if everybody could see that, if he was so hurt right now. But he didn’t want anybody to figure it out, to figure out his feeling. He was afraid if people thought that he was weak but he didn’t deny it. He was weak for everything that Zayn included inside. He was weak for him.

But it would always be his secret with himself, that even the world they were inside, was blinded about it.

 


	17. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chapter. enjoy your time!

Liam was closed the door silently. He knew it, if nobody was going to listen, even he was blaming it, but it just felt like he didn’t have the strength to do it again. He was so damn weak, hopeless and alone. Damn.

He took an empty cup and put two spoon of coffee powder with cream and poured the hot water inside. He sipped it. The burned felt on his lips made him tasted his constant life, for a tick of minutes. After that, he was just a damn cold hearted man in the unreal world. He didn’t even mind to turn the lamp on. Now the only light was come from outside the window, where the rain pouring so heavy.

He pulled the wooden chair, dragged it until near the glassy window of the kitchen. He sat down, pulled his feet and folded them. In between his palms was a warm feeling of a cup of coffee. His eyes looked to the outside of the window; the water dropped to the glass of the window, rolling down fast on it, where the thunder was calling each other thumbing like his own heart.

Liam erased something wet and warm that ran down his cheek with the back of his hand as his eyes didn’t leave the window.

 

_Nobody was home and it was rainy outside._

_I thought I have found you again today, I felt like I have you wrapped around my fingers_

_I could feel your secure arms around me again,_

_Your warm breath,_

_But, even the kiss tasted so real, it was still a lie_

_Where should I go when I need you the most?_

_Where should I cry when nobody was going to listen?_

_What did I do so I deserved to feel so hurt like this?_

_From a beautiful nightmare like you?_

_I promise to give anything to hear your voice one more time._

He ran his shaking palm on his chest, on where his heart was still beating rapidly. _God, mom, why love was so hurt like this._

From a far, Liam could hear his phone vibrating continuously on the wooden table in the living room. It must be Louis. But really, Liam need time to be alone right now. He knew, he would get over this one day, but when was it exactly? And how could he do everything finely again?

“Zaayn,” he said in silent tone, but followed with his sobbing and choking sound after that.

“It wouldn’t be so easy to live my life anymore.”

He could feel the ticking sound from the watch around his wrist, which made he thought if he was still awake until this time. The vibrating sounds were stopped now, but the atmosphere wasn’t silent yet; thunders and thumbing sounds around him. There was a sound like clicking which made Liam turned his head to the side.

“Mom?”

There was nothing unless the dark and the white light from the thunder outside that painted the wall in that kitchen. He held the back of his head, it felt hurt and heavy. He needed to take a bath with warm water, he need to relax a bit. Who knew it, maybe Niall was right, it wasn’t Zayn.

Liam was going upstairs and his room was dark, only light from his opened window, and water from the rain got inside his room. Liam cursed the air, damn. His mom must be forgetting to close his window this morning. Now everything on the floor were all messing; water, a bit mud, dried leaves and,

_What was that?_

Liam walked closer to the window of his bedroom, examined some marks on the wooden floor.

Liam saw blood on the floor. He shocked and turned around. He slipped a bit because of the watery floor but still manages to stand up still and was on his way to turn the lamp on, his eyes finally adjusted with the dark and flicked to every side until something stopped him.

Something was on the corner of his room, or it is someone?

 

“…what takes you so long to get home Liam?”

 

Liam let out the surprise sound and running to turn the lamp on. His breath hitching and he screamed a little.

“Zayn!”

He was there and still alive, there was blood running from a big wound under his abdomen.

Liam was running toward him, with a lot of strength he tried his best not to fall and finally reaching him. He was reaching Zayn that laid his back on the wall behind him, stood there like a ragged doll; pale, weak and sad.

“Zayn, Zayn what’s wrong?”

He sighed deeply but his eyes still closed tight, like he was sleeping and had a nightmare in the same time, “I fell down on my way out from that house, Liam. Just like that.” He was hardly talking as his chest moved up and down messily. He coughed and the blood dripping from his mouth

Liam sniffed and said with his shaking voice, “God, Zayn please stay with me.”

Liam ran toward the table next to his bed. He was kneeling and rummaging the things in the drawer. He took a bottle of antiseptic, bandage, scissors and others, he ran to the bathroom, taking a bowl of warm water and clean towel. He ran back to where Zayn now was lying on the floor, panting hard. The sound from him breathing was dumb all sound around them in Liam’s ears. He cut Zayn’s shirt with the scissors and took a look at the wound. It was a bit big and the blood still running from it. He cleaned it, took the antiseptic and wrapped it with the bandage. He then cleaned the towel, and took it inside the warm water again and cleaned Zayn’s mouth and neck from his dried blood. Zayn was just looking at him through his heavy lids, there was a small smile tugged on his lips as one of his arm was holding Liam on his waist.

Zayn took a deep breath and sighed with grimace on his face. Liam couldn’t help but a tear was falling again from his eye.

“Zayn?” Liam asked not sure. Did he help to cure the hurt that Zayn felt?

Zayn sighed, but his smile grew bigger now, “Feel okay, now, Liam.”

“I will help you to my bed, yeah? You think you could do that, Zayn?”

Zayn caressed his cheek and nodded. Liam walked him to his bed, and he was only moaned a bit and panted.

That time he was lying down on the bed, Liam watched how he sighed calmly and his eyes flutter shut in comfortable way.

Liam looked down as he parted his lips. He wasn’t going to cry anymore, because he already had what he wanted before. But he was so worried or even scared that Zayn maybe didn’t know it.

 

_I thought you was dead, Zayn._

_But I wasn’t going to tell it to you,_

_That I really felt worried about you._

 

Liam was closing the window and the curtain. He cleaned the floor as finally he could think positively now. Through the sound of Zayn’s sleep and the small rain outside, Liam finally could breath surely now. He went to the kitchen to take a cup of warm tea and brought it to his room. He texted his mom and Louis to make sure he was fine in home. He turned the lamp in his room down

Liam was climbing to bed and on his way to lay down before Zayn croaked voice stopped him, “Sleeping next to me, please.”

Liam couldn’t help but smile silently, “I will, stupid.”

Zayn was glaring, Liam could see it through the poor light in that room, but soon disappeared because Liam kissed him and he gave up to the warmth he got in Liam’s lips, “I miss you.” Liam said.

“I told you I never leave you.”Zayn said in the middle of the kisses.

Liam didn’t need to answer it as he broke the kiss in the same time Zayn’s breath became slower and slower and both of them shared their sleep in the same lullaby from their breath and fell to their own dreamland in the next ticking sound from the clock that hang on the wall across them.

 

~~~

 

Liam was busying himself since six in the morning. He got an early text from his mom that told him if she would stay a bit longer in his grandparents’ house. He then cooked as best as he could until everything on the table was breakfast like a kind he always read in the book; fried eggs, chicken and cheese sandwiches and milks arranged in table with art and hungry feeling.

He walked back to his bedroom. He stopped in the end of the bed when looking at Zayn’s properly in sleep. it was the first time and he felt his heart fell to his stomach; such a beauty creature he was. He looked calm and young in this moment. Liam then had another thought to maybe just lie down again on his side for the next hour. But he thought maybe Zayn need to eat something.

“Zayn,” Liam caressed his cheek. He didn’t know if it was working to wake him up. But it did. Zayn’s eyes slowly opened and landed on Liam instantly. He pulled Liam closer with grunted sound which made Liam tried his hard to pull away his body from him.

“I cooked breakfast.”

“It can wait, Liam. But I don’t” He stated with firm voice that sounded low and die inside his throat.

“Zayn, breakfast.” Liam let out a plead voice that made Zayn closed his eyes tight and sighed deep.

“Alright babe.”

Liam helped him out from the room; some kisses stolen on their way out, smile drawn on each other faces like it was their best day as the ‘I love you’ words slipped continuously from their lips which tasted like each other.

They enjoyed their breakfast in silent and lovely way. It was, until Zayn lowered his body and moved forward until his lips captured Liam’s surprised lips.

“You taste like milk,” Liam said as he pulled away, a bit grimaced.

Zayn just smiled as he took a sip of a glass of milk again, “You taste like a sin.”

“Fuck you.” Liam rolled his eyes in the way Zayn was chuckling at that.

“It would be way round, baby.”

Liam groaned tired and accidently pushed the wooden table in front of him, which he got a deep groans from Zayn,

“God, Liam, my stomach still hurt…”

Liam pouted.

Zayn sighed but got calm after a minute, “Your behavior is bad, Liam. Will you pouted too when you accidently stabbed me with knife and I moaned because of the blood?”

Liam lowered his eyes a bit as he mumbled the sorry word. Liam could heard Zayn sighed again as he stood from his chair. Damn, did he go to be mad at him for the whole day?

But surprise, Zayn walked to the empty space on the chair next to Liam. He pulled Liam to his chest and buried his face on Liam’s face.

“Babe, I’m sorry.”

Liam nodded and snuggled more to Zayn’s neck and he got another chuckled from Zayn.

“How was your holiday going?”

“It was terrible and you know that Zayn.” Zayn’s brows furrowed and he moved to kiss Liam’s nose and smiled big as the last words made Liam looked at him longingly.

“…don’t tell anybody if I still alive, Liam.”

Liam nodded again but his head asking thousand questions. For a minute, he forgot about the things he had seen on the burned house; bodies, blood and different Zayn. He wanted to ask it, but he was scared. And maybe it wasn’t the perfect time. Liam didn’t want this Zayn to be changed again. He wanted to live alone with this Zayn.

Zayn tipped his head to the side and starring at daydreaming Liam. He ran his thumb on Liam’s lower lip, gained Liam attention back at him. Liam blinked a few times when all he saw if Zayn looked at him in serious way.

“I want you to go out to a date with me, Liam.”

 


	18. Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, checked it yeah? :)

Zayn’s hoarse voice, when he spoke before, still ringing inside his ears, calling his consciousness, asking what really happened to Zayn and his life. He wanted to know everything. Everything that has been formed into Zayn’s today. He wanted to show to everyone, especially Zayn, if he wouldn’t go away even though one day the truth that Zayn has hidden for a long time from him would opened up.

Did all the things that the man said, who killed that day, was the truth?

Liam sat up, his back pressed against the headboard, half of his body was covered still with the blanked and he lazily stared into the golden sky outside the window of his room, at how the evening seems so calm and comfy.

Zayn was still sleeping next to him, they spent a whole day in bedroom, he lied on his back and face toward Liam. There was a small wound under his chin and up his left brow but he still looked so fine and kind and tender when he was sleep. This was the first time for Liam to wake up next to him, to be able to just hug his body in the middle of their sleep without do anything; just sharing the feeling and the love.

Zayn was planning to go back to his home, new place that he already found to stay for a while he said, before Liam’s mother arrived back in the late evening. And their date would be tomorrow and Liam wasn’t ready to do that. He was too happy to be able to go out officially with Zayn, finally for like nearly one year and so many times they have separated.

His phone was vibrating next to him and he was surprised a bit when he looked at the screen. It was his dad.

“…Dad?”

“Hello, Liam.”

Liam shifted a bit on his space.

“How are you, Dad? It was surprised me if you call. You aren’t busy in station?”

He heard his dad sighed and laughed bit, “Everything is fine, just some robberies cases that we need to fix later. Well, you don’t like if I call you? It’s looked like someone’s attention is already taken away from me.”

Liam felt the warmth climbed up his cheeks and he nervously laughed. He ever told his dad about Zayn when the first time he saw him at that café. And his dad’s reaction was a tremor for Liam, because his dad couldn’t stop laughing and Liam couldn’t stop blushing and cursed inside his head.

For Liam’s dad, it wasn’t the first time Liam told him if he admired a boy and he never found it as a problem.

Liam sighed heavy, “Dad!”

“Haha, how is your little man?”

Liam stole a glance at sleeping Zayn who shifted a bit on his position but remind sleep, “He is fine.”

“What is his name? I forgot.” Liam paused at that.

_…don’t tell anybody if I still alive, Liam._

“I think it isn’t the right time to know that, dad. M-Maybe later.”

“…Is he there?”

“W-what— no, I don’t know where he is.”

He heard his dad laughed again, “I know he is. I was telling your mom to not going home so early today. And she surprised. I’m right about that then.”

“Dad!” Liam could only yelp and the blushed seemed permanent colored his skin.

“Haha, all right. Mom said you are still in your holiday.”

“Yes, until next week.”

“Okay, I hope your marks will stay good.”

“Well, I’m doing well at my previous tests if that’s what you mean.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

There was a silent beat of minute between them until his dad broke it,

“You remembered the girl named Natasha from your middle school, from Jonson family—“

Liam sighed and he knew where this conversation would end up, “Dad, stop.” He said firmly.

“I just, I met her dad this morning and he told me her daughter said hello to you. It was that, Liam.”

Liam was silent and counted the beat of his heart; like his dad accepted whoever Liam liked but in the same times he wasn’t too. Liam wasn’t mind to answer him until his dad felt it as a sign to talk,

“All right, kid. We talk later. I need to go to the station now.”

“Okay, dad, be careful.”

“I always am.”

Liam nodded and closed his phone. He took a deep breath and looked at Zayn, who now was already watching Liam. His dry lips parted in line and his eyes boring to the inside of Liam’s eyes.

“Hey you woke up?” Zayn kept looking up at Liam and he slowly nodded.

“Your dad?”

Liam nodded and Zayn was following too. Both of them went silent, like Liam and his dad before, but this one, the type of silent that Liam was never mind, ever.

Zayn got up, kissed Liam cheek and walked to the bathroom. The next half an hour was Liam spent down in the kitchen, making two cups of tea, and sat while Zayn busier himself up in his room. Liam heard the thumbed sounds coming closer as Zayn entered the kitchen. He smiled goofily, and… looked young. He has shaved and now, Liam felt like it was the best if Zayn stayed for one more night.

“What babe?” Zayn pulled his chair across Liam, he bowed down to kiss Liam’s head and sat down, the smirk still played on his face as he sipped his tea, eyes not leaving Liam’s.

“So?” he put the cup down and stared at Liam.

“Um, so we will go somewhere, tomorrow?”

“Actually,” Zayn clapped both his hand, “But is it fine if it is going to be a bit late in evening?”

“I’m fine with that.” Liam nodded and sipped his tea.

“When will your mom arrive?”

Liam glanced at the clock on the wall behind him, “I’m not sure.”

“So, is it okay if I leave you alone in home?”

“I’m fine, Zayn.”

Zayn nodded and stood up, took his jacket and walked to Liam. He bowed down again and captured his lips. Liam sighed and kissed back. Liam’s hand ran down from his cheek to the collar of his black shirt, pulled it down and he felt Zayn smiled a bit.

He moved his head to the back a little so he could able talk to Liam, “you should have done that last night, I might stay the damn up until morning, just to make you happy baby.” He whispered.

Liam was laughing and Zayn did too, “You know, you aren’t never good at seducing someone.”

Zayn was pretending to confuse at that, “Why?”

Liam was stood up and they walked together to the back door, “Because I don’t feel like that.”

“So what do you want to hear? Like this, I want to taste you, lick every shape of your skin, let my tongue dance beautifully in and out you hole—“Liam made a gag face at that and Zayn stopped immediately

“Gosh, not like that, Zayn. I mean the one like sweet and something. Did you ever watch a movie?”

Liam saw the tensed around his shoulder and both his brows knotted together but he remind in silent.

“You are worse than I thought, babe.” Liam smirked and Zayn just huffed annoyed at that.

Liam was accompanied Zayn until the door of his car, shared some kisses and lip bitted, hair grabbed and body pulled to each other, skin and skin as the love grew bigger than before. And nothing could compare to their happiness. Zayn waved at Liam and drove away from his home. And Liam was watching the car until it disappeared on the corner of the street.

Liam was wondering, what was happened to his love life since then, the first time he met that man in the café. He never though if he would fall this deeply toward him, like part of him couldn’t breathe if he didn’t see him. Like maybe it was too fast to say it, but, Liam could see if his life would feel so better if Zayn was there with him until time people usually called as forever.

What the different was, Liam was a bit afraid. He didn’t want to see the part of Zayn he saw couple days ago. It was hard to accept it even he tried too, but, there would always a ‘but’ reasons inside his head. Like the first time their lips touched, there was always the doubt, hided in the small corner inside his head.

After his mother went home, he was just spending his time inside his room, lying down as he stared at the ceiling of his room. Still dazed because of his life, future and past that felt like mixed into one day as an instant.

The next day, it felt like the best and the worst day ever.

Liam said goodbye to her mother, who still watching TV in the living room as he closed the front door. He and Zayn already promised to meet in the main park in the town and Liam just wore the simple shirt and jeans because Zayn said this would be just a normal date; walking in the park, which filled with street lights and people that didn’t know them. It wasn’t a big thing of course. Not as hard as when Louis called him and Liam felt himself if his own voice getting deepen and he also believed that if Louis knew that Liam hiding something from him. It took a lot of people like Liam to make Louis changed his mind.

Liam got inside the taxi that he had stopped. At the end of the sky, far from him, the sky has begun turned golden and the air blowing softly yet cold. It seemed like rain would come soon, he thought. The taxi stopped in front of shoes store that has been closed. Across the place where Liam stood right now was the main park that started filling with some people.

He checked his watch. He was early ten minutes faster than what they have promised. This is a good idea then. He wanted to meet Zayn so bad and in the same time his heart was beating so damn fast than normal.

He glanced again to his watch, and this time, it was already twenty minutes past than what have been promised and Zayn didn’t come yet. The rain was falling easily now, which turned into a heavy rush of rain showers that made his shoes wet and splashed some mud from the rain. He pressed his back more and more to the wall of the closed door to avoid the rain that falling from the edge of the roof, yet the rain still touching him, made his shirt wet and his jeans dripped the water to the floor under him

“Damn,” He grumbled. He grabbed his hair a bit and glanced to every direction. He didn’t see someone walking or car coming from the end of the road. Where was he now?

He sent the new text to Zayn’s number, he didn’t even realize for how many times he already did that.   
  
Now Liam looked so messy and he had lost the mood to go dating. How could he went to a date with muddy shoes, shirt was almost attached to his body and had his jeans pants dripping water onto the floor under him. And plus, Zayn would see it like this, and maybe he would tell him to go home because he did not want Liam to embarrassed him.

He typed the last text said if he couldn’t go out today because of the rain. Liam waited for some beats of minutes and stepped out of the front of the store with his quivering lips.

  
Perhaps we could change the day for the date instead.

  
Liam continues to run under pouring rain to find a taxi that may be passed, until someone pulled his arm firmly and Liam startled by something pierce his skin that already stiff with cold.

“Why leaving?” Liam's eyes fell to the arm that grabbed him and moved up to the face of the man.

  
"Zayn?" Liam surprised, turned away and pulled his arm. Zayn looked bit annoyed and stern look on his face toward Liam.

“C-can we switch the day, I don’t feel good today.” Liam little shouted until he believed Zayn could hear it clearly as he kept looking the far space behind Zayn, avoid the pair of eyes that kept starring at him in intimidate way

“… No.” Zayn answered.

“I want to go home, Zayn!” Liam tried to walk away but being pulled again in the next second.

“What is wrong with you, Liam? We already planned it and you are the one who cancel it.”

Liam grumbled loudly, trying to look at Zayn in his eyes, he was really embarrassed at this time. Zayn have to see him in this condition, he must felt disgusting now.

“Look at me, Zayn! I’m so messed now, and I don’t have a feeling to go to a date anymore.”

Zayn spitted the rain and looked at him again, “You aren’t going home, Liam.”

Liam glared at him; of course, he still looked so damn hot and incredible where Liam was the worst part above all. Liam looked down and Zayn realized it as he ran his fingers on his hair before moved forward.

“… Liam, baby.” Zayn raised his chin and kissed him gently on the lips. So gently until Liam wasn’t sure if Zayn kissed him or not.

“I love you, Liam. And you don’t need to embarrass about anything right now.”

Liam did not see Zayn eyes, instead buried his face in his chest and arms hugged Zayn safely.

“You’re wet.” Liam said lowly but surprised when he felt Zayn’s chest vibrating because of the laugh.

“You made me.” He said right near Liam’s ear.

“I-I mean because of the rain!” Liam said a bit jerking back from him.

“I don’t care.” He pulled Liam back closer as his face hovering Liam and both breathe heavily.

“Are you going to kiss me?” Liam said as he smiled playfully toward Zayn who nodded and kissed him again open mouth, where Liam could taste the salt and rain between it.

Zayn moved his face to the side of Liam’s face, bitted slowly Liam’s ear and whispered, “Yeah, doesn’t it romantic? Like those scenes in that dumb movie, Liam.”

Zayn kissed him slowly, and deep this time after he heard Liam groaned at his words.

“Zayn,” he said breathlessly.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Zayn was silent and stared deep at him before said, “I just want to see you waiting for me.”

“You mean?”

“I arrived half an hour before you arrived, but I parked my car along the other cars, you see that?”

Liam looked from Zayn’s shoulder and felt his stomach twisted where he could see the car from yesterday parked there. How could he don’t realize it before, “you, silly!”

Zayn smiled and kissed him again, “but you looked cute when you’re bored, make me want to fuck you against that closed store baby.” He whispered again.

Liam nudged him and the shivered. “Can we go now?”

Zayn pouted, “If there is a scene where the man fucked the girl under the rain, will you let me do that next time?” Zayn said too serious to be kidding in Liam’s ears.

Zayn was laughing at Liam who rambling all words he didn’t understand and the sound of the rain dumb him as Liam dragged Zayn to the car.

Liam was sure and finally okay when Zayn come and missing, but Zayn always promise and he never broke it.

And today he proved his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it then? xx

**Author's Note:**

> what do you think about the story after all? give a comment please, yeah??


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